Possible topic please tell me if I am on the right track

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
jlas000
Posts: 33
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2010 11:05 am

Possible topic please tell me if I am on the right track

Postby jlas000 » Mon Oct 11, 2010 4:36 pm

So after taking the LSAT on Saturday I am starting to work on my PS, and this is the idea that I am leaning toward working on as of today so if anyone has any comments or suggestions please let me know.

TOPIC:
As a kid growing up I always struggled with shyness and really had very few true friends. By the time I got to high school I had even less. To say I was lonely would be an understatement. I would often go to the library during lunch just to avoid trying to find a place to sit. So I immersed myself in my school work, you could even say that homework and studying became my closest friend. And I pushed myself to not let that friend down. Then I will talk about why this matters for law school. This drive that I have has made me the student that I am today, which is very devoted. I take the work I am assigned very seriously. And even though today I finally do have friends and even a serious girlfriend, I still find comfort in doing my school work. This will translate into success for law school and in my legal career.

User avatar
paratactical
Posts: 5961
Joined: Wed Feb 04, 2009 1:06 pm

Re: Possible topic please tell me if I am on the right track

Postby paratactical » Mon Oct 11, 2010 4:38 pm

It is incredibly difficult for anyone to tell you anything actually useful without having a bit of a draft (and please, not a first draft, do some editing yourself) because so much of the difference between a "meh" statement and a good one is found in the writing itself. Good luck getting a solid draft ready for editing.

picklebarrel
Posts: 40
Joined: Sun Sep 27, 2009 12:51 am

Re: Possible topic please tell me if I am on the right track

Postby picklebarrel » Mon Oct 11, 2010 4:41 pm

I like the idea, but putting it into writing is definitely the hardest part. I was considering pursuing a similar PS because my shyness also pushed me into the library. I just couldn't make the story compelling.

User avatar
chaosnoodlesoup
Posts: 37
Joined: Thu Sep 16, 2010 1:07 am

Re: Possible topic please tell me if I am on the right track

Postby chaosnoodlesoup » Mon Oct 11, 2010 4:44 pm

I'm thinking you should focus on something else.

I'm operating under the assumption that you want to get into a decent school, so you'll be competing with students whose grades and study skills are a given by their GPA and pedigree.

Paratactical is right--critique is easier with a draft to see exactly how you're phrasing your PS, especially because the quality of your writing is often as important as the content of your message.

jlas000
Posts: 33
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2010 11:05 am

Re: Possible topic please tell me if I am on the right track

Postby jlas000 » Mon Oct 11, 2010 5:09 pm

Does anyone think that this topic has the potential for good pathos and the potentional to generate emotions in the reader while not come off as sounding pathetic or anything?

User avatar
rso11
Posts: 126
Joined: Fri Sep 10, 2010 9:25 pm

Re: Possible topic please tell me if I am on the right track

Postby rso11 » Mon Oct 11, 2010 5:21 pm

jlas000 wrote:So after taking the LSAT on Saturday I am starting to work on my PS, and this is the idea that I am leaning toward working on as of today so if anyone has any comments or suggestions please let me know.

TOPIC:
As a kid growing up I always struggled with shyness and really had very few true friends. By the time I got to high school I had even less. To say I was lonely would be an understatement. I would often go to the library during lunch just to avoid trying to find a place to sit. So I immersed myself in my school work, you could even say that homework and studying became my closest friend. And I pushed myself to not let that friend down. Then I will talk about why this matters for law school. This drive that I have has made me the student that I am today, which is very devoted. I take the work I am assigned very seriously. And even though today I finally <--cut! do have friends and even a serious girlfriend, I still find comfort in doing my school work. expand on "comfort" - what does that mean? Familiarity? not good enough. challenge? your own proving ground? I'm very academically oriented to, so I totally get the love-school mentality, don't get me wrong. lol This will translatebig assumption into success for law school and in my legal career.bigger assumption


Good idea. However, it was kind of a downer in the beginning; make sure it's positive overall/at the end. And demonstrate how you grew (one or 2 big examples) and please demonstrate that you have some people skills now. Law school may involve a lot of study but you sure as hell need more than that as a lawyer.

User avatar
rso11
Posts: 126
Joined: Fri Sep 10, 2010 9:25 pm

Re: Possible topic please tell me if I am on the right track

Postby rso11 » Mon Oct 11, 2010 5:22 pm

jlas000 wrote:Does anyone think that this topic has the potential for good pathos and the potentional to generate emotions in the reader while not come off as sounding pathetic or anything?


Oh yeah. You just have to write it right. :wink:




Return to “Law School Personal Statements”

Who is online

The online users are hidden on this forum.