Started again from scratch. PLEASE be brutally honest!

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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lalalawya
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Started again from scratch. PLEASE be brutally honest!

Postby lalalawya » Sat Oct 09, 2010 12:14 am

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Last edited by lalalawya on Sun Oct 10, 2010 5:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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lalalawya
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Re: Started again from scratch. PLEASE be brutally honest!

Postby lalalawya » Sat Oct 09, 2010 12:39 pm

Anyone? I can critique yours as well if you would like!

sarahh
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Re: Started again from scratch. PLEASE be brutally honest!

Postby sarahh » Sat Oct 09, 2010 12:55 pm

I read your other ones too, and I think this still has the same cover-letter vibe - like you are talking about your skills at your old job to sell yourself for a new job. I think that the personal statement should address why you want to go to law school, but the focus should not be on how qualified you are. You have your resume, transcript, LSAT score, and letters of recommendation for that. This is a chance to show them who you are as a person.

mr.undroppable
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Re: Started again from scratch. PLEASE be brutally honest!

Postby mr.undroppable » Sat Oct 09, 2010 1:11 pm

This is a resume with adjectives thrown in. You don't need either in a PS.

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lalalawya
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Re: Started again from scratch. PLEASE be brutally honest!

Postby lalalawya » Sat Oct 09, 2010 1:20 pm

Thanks for both of your critiques! After comparing all of my drafts, I agree. I don't know why this is such a struggle for me; I can write excellent essays detailing chaucer and bahktin, but make me write a PS about myself and it's a struggle. Go figure, haha.

In order to stray away from the resume feeling, would you guys recommend I discuss only one of my major projects in detail? Perhaps the AE for TEF?

Another thing I was considering doing was discussing my experiences in teaching a variety of high school students due to my major, and how this has awarded me the opportunity to become more of a leader, learn to adapt, and deal with diversity, etc....there are a number of specific instances that I can focus on that would exhibit these skills without having to state them outright.

sarahh
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Joined: Wed Sep 08, 2010 2:36 pm

Re: Started again from scratch. PLEASE be brutally honest!

Postby sarahh » Sat Oct 09, 2010 2:35 pm

If you feel this job is one of the main reasons you are applying, I think you can briefly talk about it, but just don't spend to much time describing the detail. Teaching could be a good topic too, but you don't want the whole focus to be on your skills. Look at this personal statement on teaching: viewtopic.php?f=18&t=131368. S/he describes a story without it sounding like a resume.

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SullaFelix
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Re: Started again from scratch. PLEASE be brutally honest!

Postby SullaFelix » Sun Oct 10, 2010 1:53 pm

lalalawya wrote:I stood alone at the bottom of the canyon, shielding my eyes from the hot July sun. I didn’t necessarily mind being by myself, but it certainly forced upon me the realization that my life is dramatically different than it was three months ago.


This just seems incredible forced. What does being in a canyon have to do with any of the rest of the piece? Also, "forced upon me the realization" is just a jumble of unnecessary words.




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