PS Critique ? Please help Forum

[trudat15]

Deleted - updating new draft

[sarahh]

You need to work on the writing a little. I would be more specific, but per your request, I won't quote. It sounds like you have an interesting job, but I think you can be more interesting and vivid in your description of it. A broken camera is not that exciting. Also, it may be a good idea to expand on the last paragraph and provide specific examples of legal issues you have dealt with and how having a law degree will help you better address them in the future.

[trudat15]

Thanks for the comments. I agree that it needs a lot of work. Like I said, wasnt really happy with it as I was writing.