PS Critique ? Please help

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
trudat15
Posts: 900
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2010 11:57 pm

PS Critique ? Please help

Postby trudat15 » Mon Oct 04, 2010 6:41 pm

Deleted - updating new draft
Last edited by trudat15 on Tue Oct 05, 2010 1:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

sarahh
Posts: 610
Joined: Wed Sep 08, 2010 2:36 pm

Re: PS Critique ? Please help

Postby sarahh » Mon Oct 04, 2010 7:37 pm

You need to work on the writing a little. I would be more specific, but per your request, I won't quote. It sounds like you have an interesting job, but I think you can be more interesting and vivid in your description of it. A broken camera is not that exciting. Also, it may be a good idea to expand on the last paragraph and provide specific examples of legal issues you have dealt with and how having a law degree will help you better address them in the future.

trudat15
Posts: 900
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2010 11:57 pm

Re: PS Critique ? Please help

Postby trudat15 » Mon Oct 04, 2010 11:12 pm

Thanks for the comments. I agree that it needs a lot of work. Like I said, wasnt really happy with it as I was writing.




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