Critique my GPA addendum please Forum

[merc280]

Im submitting a GPA addendum for all of the schools that require me to turn one in. I dont think that there is anything in my college career that is worthy of being explained to the adcoms except for a series of unfortunate events and mistakes on my part but since some schools require that I turn one in, I wrote one and would appreciate some feed back on it.

When I transferred to university of --- in spring 2007 the transition going from a community college to a university was overwhelming for me. My sister that had watched over me and raised me like a mother moved overseas in December 2006 to attend medical school and I had a hard time adjusting from being constantly living in a conservative environment to being able to make my own choices regarding classes and what I was interested in pursuing while in college. That being the major reason along with my relatively young age (17), it took me time to adjust to this completely different world I now had. I was put on academic probation after my first semester-spring 2007 because of the overwhelming course load (18 hours), and having to work 40 hours a week to pay for school and expenses related to commuting to school every day. After this semester I took my first college chemistry class and failed it, and was put on academic probation because of my lack of premed and my parents forcing me to either go the premed route or finding my own place to live. During the following semester Fall 2008 I started taking classes that I enjoyed and was taken off probation by the end of the semester
During spring 2008 I was put back on probation for failing chemistry a second time. I failed chemistry and make a D in my biology class, because I had no desire to become premed but I was cut off from my house and had to work to pay for school and housing. After leaving the house and adjusting to living on my own I changed career paths from pre med to getting a BA in communication and a minor in English. After the summer of 2008 I have been in good standing ever since and maintained a above B average except for my last semester when y mother who had a rare form of gall bladder cancer passed away and I had to move back in with my father because of his failing health and support him emotionally and financially.

[bk1]

I would cut it down to just explaining your F's since I am assuming the required addenda are to address academic probation. Something like:

"During SEMESTER I was put on academic probation after failing chemistry. I retook the class and failed once more. These F's and the academic probation were due to my immaturity at a time when I was doing premed just because my family expected of me. Since then I have switched to Communications and received grades that I feel are more representative of my ability as a student."

[merc280]

I would cut it down to just explaining your F's since I am assuming the required addenda are to address academic probation. Something like:

"During SEMESTER I was put on academic probation after failing chemistry. I retook the class and failed once more. These F's and the academic probation were due to my immaturity at a time when I was doing premed just because my family expected of me. Since then I have switched to Communications and received grades that I feel are more representative of my ability as a student."

I don't have to go into too deep of an explanation do I? I just felt like they might question why i didn't explain it in depth even thought he reasons are kinda repeating.

[CanadianWolf]

Try to cut it down to two or three short, concise sentences. As presented, your addendum contains too many errors and is likely to adversely affect your chances of admission. This is a very poorly written addendum.

[bk1]

The problem is that most of this isn't about things out of your control, it is about you learning to cope as an adult. So this isn't really a GPA addendum in the traditional sense where one would say something like "I got into a car accident during Fall 2009 and could not attend my finals and thus got a 2.3 that semester, please view my GPA of 3.7 for all other semesters as representative of my ability." This is and should be merely an addendum explaining your probation/F's that you have to give in response to that question on most applications.

The fact that it was partially immaturity makes it seem like you are making excuses which is why I would cut it down. I would basically try to keep it succinct and focus on the transition, i.e. "I had trouble going from a dependent minor to an adult who worked full time while taking classes in a major my parents chose. Thus I failed and went on probation but I learned form it and switched majors and now am not failing."

[merc280]

Okay I redid the thing


During my Summer 2007 semester I was put on academic probation after failing chemistry. I was taken off probation the following semester. I retook Chemistry Spring of 2008 and failed once more and was put back on probation. These F's and the academic probation were due to my immaturity at a time when I was doing premed just because my family expected of me. Since then I have switched to Communications and received grades that I feel are more representative of my ability as a student.

[CanadianWolf]

Twice I was put on academic probation for failing chemistry. I no longer want to be a doctor; I want to sue them. I have seen the light.

[Smitten]

Twice I was put on academic probation for failing chemistry. I no longer want to be a doctor; I want to sue them. I have seen the light.

Hehehe