PS 2nd draft

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Spackledgoat
Posts: 27
Joined: Sat Jun 26, 2010 9:41 am

PS 2nd draft

Postby Spackledgoat » Mon Sep 27, 2010 12:01 pm

Here is my 2nd draft. The last one was torn apart and I felt I needed a major re-do. Please lemme know where I can make it better. Thanks

I stepped into my new home, taking in the decades old, faded wallpaper that clung to the crumbling wall. I had just moved to Romania and I knew my life would never be the same. My “roommate” was not a fellow student, but rather a 84 year old woman who had lived through war, revolution and a half decade of communism and spoke not one word of English. I was there to learn a new language, to live and thrive away from home, but with each moment I spent waiting in that entranceway those goals seemed more and more difficult. I didn’t know a single person in the entire country, didn’t know where my school was or how to carry on a conversation with anyone else. After 21 years of comfortable life, I’d cast myself down the rabbit hole.
Since that day it has been nearly four years, and I still live in Romania. I hadn’t planned on spending the entirety of my early twenties abroad, but looking back I see that doing so has made me into a far more mature and worldly individual. My journey started when I was awarded a David L. Boren NSEP scholarship to study abroad for a year. This scholarship is given by the federal government to students who have shown a keen interest in less known languages and who wish to work in public service in the future. I spent the year in northern Romania working on my language skills while doing research into the role of the Hungarian population in Romanian politics. My look into the rights of Hungarians has helped me develop an interest into minority rights in American society, and I hope to pursue a legal career defending and promoting those rights. As the year ended, I decided that I didn’t want my study abroad experience to be like so many others and just be a footnote in my education. I wanted to be able to use my experience in my later life, and so I felt it most important to be proficient in the Romanian language. I spent the following year attending an intensive, daily language program designed by the Romanian government to qualify students to attend college in Romanian. Completing the year of study and the passing the final examination was a defining moment for me. Foreign languages have never been my strong suit and therefore being able to speak Romanian is one of my highest achievements. I had always been able to learn things quickly and with little effort, but learning a language requires practice, dedication and study. I was forced to mature as a student in order to succeed, while establishing study habits that I hope will bring me success during law school.
After graduating the language program, I was offered the opportunity to be the first student to participate in a teaching exchange between Arizona State and the University of Bucharest. I was offered a position as an English professor for freshman students of American Studies. I have developed my own curriculum, a process in which I identified the weaknesses in my students writing ability due to insufficient academic writing experience in high school and subsequently developed a more writing intensive course for the students. In addition to refining my own academic writing through the need to teach the students those skills, I developed excellent group communication skills and acquired the confidence to speak in front of large groups through the process of developing and delivering classroom lectures. Being a teacher has made me a better student. I hope that I will be able to use what I’ve learned here in order to succeed in the classroom. The maturity that comes along with learning a language or being a mentor for a young student is the maturity I wish to apply to my legal studies, while I also hope that my experiences abroad will allow me to add richness and diversity to the legal community.


EDIT: updated with corrections



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