addendum for disciplinary action

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trudat15
Posts: 900
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2010 11:57 pm

addendum for disciplinary action

Postby trudat15 » Wed Sep 15, 2010 12:49 am

deleted
Last edited by trudat15 on Fri Oct 22, 2010 2:01 am, edited 4 times in total.

justadude55
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Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2010 12:23 am

Re: addendum for disciplinary action

Postby justadude55 » Wed Sep 15, 2010 1:12 am

id add more about what you learned from it, but be genuine.

hijodehombre
Posts: 251
Joined: Tue Jul 27, 2010 3:29 pm

Re: addendum for disciplinary action

Postby hijodehombre » Wed Sep 15, 2010 1:29 am

trudat15 wrote:So I had to check the dreaded "YES" next to disciplinary action. Here's the addendum. Any comments welcome. It is a little vague because it was 8 years ago, and I dont remember that well. Also it's been expunged and the university no longer has anything in my disciplinary record whatsoever, so they couldnt give me more precise info (like the date or anything else that would be helpful).


During the fall semester of my senior year in college, my roommates and I received a noise violation and the Department of Public Safety (DOPS) at our university arrived to ask us to bring to an end to the social gathering at our on-campus apartment. Even as the event was over, we remained loud and DOPS had to return twice more to ask us to keep the noise level down. The third time they came they confiscated all the alcohol present and forced those milling about to leave.

Because DOPS had to return a third time, we were required to attend a hearing for the offense, where we plead guilty and each received a $40 fine and ten hours of community service, which I completed. I accept responsibility for this offense and was never again disciplined for the remainder of my time at XXX University. It has since been expunged from my record.


This description is a little verbose. What about:

"During the fall of 20XX, my roommates and I held a social gathering at our on-campus apartment. The noise from our apartment prompted a visit from DPS officials who asked us to end the event. We (attempted to) put an end to the gathering, but unfortunately the noise level was still unacceptable. The officials came two more times, finally confiscating all alcoholic beverages and forcing our guests to leave. Because of this incident, we attended a hearing, where we plead guilty, paid a $40 fine and were required to provide ten hours of community service, which I subsequently completed.

trudat15
Posts: 900
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2010 11:57 pm

Re: addendum for disciplinary action

Postby trudat15 » Wed Sep 15, 2010 1:35 am

justadude55 wrote:id add more about what you learned from it, but be genuine.


On the TLS "How to write an effective addendum" page, it says that you should be factual and leave "learning" to more serious violations/crimes. Which is why I tried to keep it to the facts and left it at that.

hijodehombre wrote:
This description is a little verbose.


Agreed. Thanks for your input. I may take part of your suggestion, if you dont mind.

hijodehombre
Posts: 251
Joined: Tue Jul 27, 2010 3:29 pm

Re: addendum for disciplinary action

Postby hijodehombre » Wed Sep 15, 2010 1:51 am

trudat15 wrote:
justadude55 wrote:id add more about what you learned from it, but be genuine.


On the TLS "How to write an effective addendum" page, it says that you should be factual and leave "learning" to more serious violations/crimes. Which is why I tried to keep it to the facts and left it at that.

hijodehombre wrote:
This description is a little verbose.


Agreed. Thanks for your input. I may take part of your suggestion, if you dont mind.


Not at all. The faster you can convey what you did wrong, the faster you can get to the remorseful crap, imo.

trudat15
Posts: 900
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2010 11:57 pm

Re: addendum for disciplinary action

Postby trudat15 » Wed Sep 15, 2010 2:29 am

wait so am I supposed to show remorse, even for something as small as this? THought it was supposed to be more factual, with remorse and what you learned coming for more serious offenses (academic probation, crimes, etc).

I did learn from the whole ordeal and was sincerely sorry to my neighbors, as it may have affected their studying.

hijodehombre
Posts: 251
Joined: Tue Jul 27, 2010 3:29 pm

Re: addendum for disciplinary action

Postby hijodehombre » Wed Sep 15, 2010 3:29 am

Well, maybe not remorse, but I think it would be a good idea to end it with a short positive spin. You're right, though, no need to drag it out.

CanadianWolf
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Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm

Re: addendum for disciplinary action

Postby CanadianWolf » Wed Sep 15, 2010 8:19 am

It's okay, but law schools may want the specific charges spelled out as your statement refers to both noise & possible alcohol violations.

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hncsarge34
Posts: 60
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 9:40 am

Re: addendum for disciplinary action

Postby hncsarge34 » Wed Sep 15, 2010 10:25 am

Would someone read over my disciplinary addendum? PM if interested, very short.

trudat15
Posts: 900
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2010 11:57 pm

Re: addendum for disciplinary action

Postby trudat15 » Wed Sep 15, 2010 2:13 pm

CanadianWolf wrote:It's okay, but law schools may want the specific charges spelled out as your statement refers to both noise & possible alcohol violations.


Yeah. I wanted to be more specific, but it was 8 years ago and dont remember. Getting in contact with my UG, i'm told my records have been destroyed, per their policy of expunging everything after you graduate.

justadude55
Posts: 963
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2010 12:23 am

Re: addendum for disciplinary action

Postby justadude55 » Wed Sep 15, 2010 9:00 pm

trudat15 wrote:
CanadianWolf wrote:It's okay, but law schools may want the specific charges spelled out as your statement refers to both noise & possible alcohol violations.


Yeah. I wanted to be more specific, but it was 8 years ago and dont remember. Getting in contact with my UG, i'm told my records have been destroyed, per their policy of expunging everything after you graduate.


i doubt it's all expunged. colleges are big businesses. it's hard to imagine they'd erase everything.

xyzzzzzzzz
Posts: 463
Joined: Wed Jan 06, 2010 6:28 pm

Re: addendum for disciplinary action

Postby xyzzzzzzzz » Wed Sep 15, 2010 11:20 pm

I honestly think your addendum is fine. Much time has passed and it is basically a noise violation. No need to get all deep and involved over something so minor.

trudat15
Posts: 900
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2010 11:57 pm

Re: addendum for disciplinary action

Postby trudat15 » Thu Oct 21, 2010 3:20 pm

Sorry to repost - I basically added the last paragraph at the end. Do you think it's okay (so they know I'm really trying to tell them what happened, but I'm not sure of all the details)? Or should I leave it out and just send the addendum as is (without the last paragraph)?
THanks in advance.




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