Very rough PS draft...

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ebl1014
Posts: 131
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2010 8:57 am

Very rough PS draft...

Postby ebl1014 » Sat Sep 11, 2010 11:54 am

I have had a great deal of difficulty in coming up with anything to write for my PS. I ended up writing solely on what has driven me to go to law school and why. I realize that this is not the most moving PS, but it is what I have been able to write most genuinely about. This is a super rough draft and any critiques or suggestions are GREATLY appreciated (even if you think I should scrap it and start over).



German philosopher Johann Gottfried von Herder once said, "Without inspiration the best powers of the mind remain dormant. There is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks."
I spent the first nineteen years of my life searching for the inspiration that I needed to illuminate my future. High school and the first year of undergraduate school were, while being significant times for social and personal growth, areas of my life that lacked academic and professional direction. At home for the summer and unsure as to the real value of returning for a second year of a major-less undergraduate career, I sat on my bed and contemplated what will become the most important decision of my life thus far. I knew that, wherever I went and whatever I did, I wanted to be able to give more than I took from every person and every place that I was exposed to. I wanted to be able to help people and to make sure that, in every instance that I could influence, people were treated fairly. I wanted to use my talents to better the lives of the people of the world. My belief in the strength of the human spirit in its power to do both good and bad drove my desire to be in a position to the promote the former. Sitting there, enjoying the cool, clean, breeze blowing through the window, I realized that I was in no way lacking the fuel needed to make such positive changes for myself and for the world. The opportunities that I could be afforded by an education that was placed in my hands for me suddenly made themselves clear. This luxury that I had been afforded, like the luxury of the clean air that I was breathing, would not ever be made possible to many of the young minds who really deserved it. I decided then that this education, my mind power, and my inspiration could not and would not go to waste. I realized that, with a law degree, I would have the opportunities and the power to fight for fairness and to better the lives of many, many people. These are my sparks.
I walked downstairs with a new enthusiasm in my step; not for what I had accomplished but for what I knew that I could. I researched every major that my school had to offer and decided on sociology and political science. Upon entering school that fall, I knew that the opportunity to use my own inspiration as fuel for accomplishing a greater good was at hand. Three years of studying illuminated the path to what I see as my ultimate goal. Within these fields I not only learned more about the people and systems of the world, but also the influence that those who practice law can have on them. My belief that this world is in need of difference makers, people with the inspiration and the power to make it a better place, is what inspires me to attend _____ Law. ______'s focus on ethics, the opportunities that it offers its students internationally, and its reputation as one of the best law schools in the nation are what drive my desire to attend. I have the inspiration, the work ethic, and the compassion to use a _____ Law education to fight for human rights and fairness and to make a difference in the world. Through the study of people and a genuine concern for the state of human rights abroad, I have discovered my own fuel. The sparks to ignite it and thus to make a difference have come through my own hard work and education. What I seek now is the opportunity to continue my academic work in a setting that promotes and inspires my commitment to making a difference in the lives of people around the world. ____Law is the setting where I can best make use of my own talents while working toward the degree that will allow me to make a true difference in the lives of others.

sarahh
Posts: 610
Joined: Wed Sep 08, 2010 2:36 pm

Re: Very rough PS draft...

Postby sarahh » Sat Sep 11, 2010 1:56 pm

It is very generic. I don't really feel that I get to know you. You talk a lot about wanting to help people - can you give any examples of volunteer experiences that were meaningful to you?

ebl1014
Posts: 131
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2010 8:57 am

Re: Very rough PS draft...

Postby ebl1014 » Sat Sep 11, 2010 2:11 pm

yep, I was just thinking the same thing. I think I'm going to keep the general outline of it but add in specifics and personal experiences

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AreJay711
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Joined: Tue Jul 20, 2010 8:51 pm

Re: Very rough PS draft...

Postby AreJay711 » Sat Sep 11, 2010 5:20 pm

If you majored in economics you wouldn't worry about taking more form someone that you gave lol.

I think you personal statement would be much improved if you focused on WHAT you actually wanted to do with a law degree. Unless you have a plan most people, and probably most admissions officials, will think it is just hot air. I want to go to law school to make money and make other people a lot of money working in transactional law, but I could probably write that I want to help people in the general sense. What I couldn't do is say exactly how i want to help or what population I want to help, at least not convincingly. I think it would be good for you to focus more on what exactly you want to do to protect human rights abroad or why you think that is an important issue. The good thing about international human rights is that it is a pretty safe area but you want to avoid offending anyone by saying politically or ideologically charged things.

ebl1014
Posts: 131
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2010 8:57 am

Re: Very rough PS draft...

Postby ebl1014 » Sat Sep 11, 2010 6:04 pm

Thank you! Excellent input!




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