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I see what you are trying to do but, just my two cents, I don't think the Rudy thing works. If someone hasn't seen the movie it falls flat - even if they have it seems too much like a gimmick.

Your accomplishments are unique and very impressive and your numbers are good - you will get into a great law school but I think you will help yourself more if you try a different framework.

Sorry if that wasn't what you wanted to hear and good luck

I agree with this:

jtemp320 wrote:I see what you are trying to do but, just my two cents, I don't think the Rudy thing works. If someone hasn't seen the movie it falls flat - even if they have it seems too much like a gimmick.

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Making the comparison to Rudy makes your experience seems less unique and more, as the above poster maintained, gimmicky.

Also, unless using dialogue (or, for whatever reason, quoting the lionel ritchie song)-- one should never introduce an admissions essay with "hello."

I was really hoping this was either going to be 1) a personal statement for Rudy or 2) one of those long stories that morphs into the theme song from the Fresh Prince by the end.

But seriously, drop the Rudy bit. This is a professional example of your writing as well as why you want to go to law school. You could shape it much better.

thanks for everyones input. for anyone else who happens to read this.. do you think the body of the PS is going in a good direction? If i strip my PS of the Rudy framework, but keep the meat of the PS, will it work?

sorry for posting on this thread again, but I'm really looking to see if the meat of my PS is heading the right direction? any feedback?

How'd you know I needed help on my personal statement?