Very first draft! Hobby/passion essay...

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piccolittle
Posts: 1118
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 4:16 pm

Very first draft! Hobby/passion essay...

Postby piccolittle » Sat Aug 21, 2010 8:54 pm

Back to the drawing board...
Last edited by piccolittle on Sun Aug 22, 2010 2:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

NonTradHealthLaw
Posts: 401
Joined: Mon May 03, 2010 2:44 pm

Re: Very first draft! Hobby/passion essay...

Postby NonTradHealthLaw » Sat Aug 21, 2010 9:20 pm

Your punctuation errors disallowed me from progressing beyond the 2nd paragraph. Possible potential, but needs a lot of editing.

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piccolittle
Posts: 1118
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 4:16 pm

Re: Very first draft! Hobby/passion essay...

Postby piccolittle » Sat Aug 21, 2010 10:02 pm

NonTradHealthLaw wrote:Your punctuation errors disallowed me from progressing beyond the 2nd paragraph. Possible potential, but needs a lot of editing.


Ouch. Punctuation errors... as in comma overuse?

NonTradHealthLaw
Posts: 401
Joined: Mon May 03, 2010 2:44 pm

Re: Very first draft! Hobby/passion essay...

Postby NonTradHealthLaw » Sat Aug 21, 2010 10:13 pm

Actually, underuse and misuse. And, I lied. I made it, initially, to approximately halfway through the third paragraph before punctuation stopped me from progressing. Now I've read through the rest and it reminds me of my mother's romance novels-melodramatic and overwrought. Sorry to have such a violent reaction against your essay, OP, but this one rubbed me the wrong way throughout.




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