Why michigan take 3, how is it?

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dabbadon8
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Why michigan take 3, how is it?

Postby dabbadon8 » Tue Jul 27, 2010 10:43 pm

Hopefully this version is ok. I still will do a final grammar and punctuation check. What can I do to improve it? Thoughts?

Since I was old enough to understand the concept of college, my cousin Larry has been extolling the virtues of the University of Michigan. One would think his ramblings would have been lost on a child of seven, but as I began my search for a law school I remembered his passionate raves and made it a point to find out what had made such an impression. It turned out that what I found was my top choice for law school.

I intend to pursue a career in public interest that will allow me to utilize my background in psychology. I came to appreciate the tangible connection between the two fields after an undergraduate psychology course assigned “Social Science and the Evolving Standards of Death Penalty Law,” co-authored by Phoebe Ellsworth. As a result of the article and my internship experience in criminal law, I have become especially interested in the continuing development of death penalty policy. I believe that conducting research under professor Ellsworth, a preeminent scholar in psychology, law, and the death penalty in particular, would provide me skills and experience that would be invaluable assets in achieving my academic and career goals. I am also interested in participating in the Criminal Appellate Practice Clinic in order to build upon my background in criminal law. I believe I am an excellent candidate for this clinic due to my ability to provided alternative perspectives and insight gained through my experience as an intern with the State Attorney’s Office.

In addition to academic factors, Michigan’s location and environment make the school an excellent personal fit. I attended undergrad in a college town and found that the focus on the university created a sense of community unlike anywhere I have ever lived. Ann Arbor’s collegial reputation and Midwest location makes Michigan more appealing then other top law schools located in unfriendly urban surroundings. In keeping with the school's reputation, and after speaking with many current and past students, I would describe the student body as open minded, grounded and diverse. These qualities are crucial to varied intellectual conversation and are a major factor in my decision.

The appeal of Michigan’s impressive academics and attractive location are further augmented by the university’s rich history, architectural beauty, and national reputation. When all factors are taken into consideration, Michigan stands apart as my top choice for law school.
Last edited by dabbadon8 on Wed Jul 28, 2010 11:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

03121202698008
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Re: Why michigan take 3, how is it?

Postby 03121202698008 » Tue Jul 27, 2010 11:03 pm

dabbadon8 wrote:Hopefully this version is ok. I still will do a final grammar and punctuation check. What can I do to improve it? Thoughts?

Since I was old enough to understand the concept of college, my cousin Larry has been extolling the virtues of the University of Michigan. One would think his rambling’s would have been lost on a child of seven, but as I began my search for a law school I remembered his passionate raves and made it a point to find out what had made such an impression. It turned out that what I found was my top choice for law school. I'm bored already...

I intend to pursue a career in public interest that will allow me to utilize my background in psychology. I came to appreciate the tangible connection between the two fields after an undergraduate psychology course assigned “Social Science and the Evolving Standards of Death Penalty Law,” co-authored by Phoebe Ellsworth. As a result of the article and my internship experience in criminal law, I have become especially interested in the continuing development of death penalty policy. I believe that conducting research under professor Ellsworth, how do you know you'll get a class with this professor? conducting research under a professor is outside the scope of admissions. Individual professors hire their own research assistants. You make it sound guaranteed. a preeminent scholar in psychology, law, and the death penalty in particular, would provide me skills and experience that would be invaluable assets in achieving my academic and career goals. I am also interested in participating in the Criminal Appellate Practice Clinic in order to build upon my background in criminal law. I believe I am an excellent candidate for this clinic due to my ability to provided alternative perspectives and insight gained through my experience as an intern with the State Attorney’s Office. Which state? How would this make you an attractive candidate? This makes it seem all about you. Talk about how you believe that your skills could allow you to help someone in this clinic.

In addition to academic factors, Michigan’s location and environment make the school an excellent personal fit. I attended undergrad in a college town and found that the focus on the university created a sense of community unlike anywhere I have ever lived. So any school in a college town is acceptable?Ann Arbor’s collegial reputation and Midwest location makes Michigan more appealing then other top law schools located in unfriendly urban surroundings. This makes me think you should go to an urban school. You don't want to sound afraid or unable. You'll be representing the school after you graduate and during summers In keeping with the school's reputation, and after speaking with many current and past students, I would describe the student body as open minded, grounded and diverse. These qualities are crucial to varied intellectual conversation and are a major factor in my decision.I thought you likes our town and one specific professor? Now it's all about our open-mindedness?

The appeal of Michigan’s impressive academics and attractive location are further augmented by the university’s rich history, architectural beauty, and national reputation. When all factors are taken into consideration, Michigan stands apart as my top choice for law school.

dabbadon8
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Re: Why michigan take 3, how is it?

Postby dabbadon8 » Tue Jul 27, 2010 11:33 pm

Appreciate your feedback. I am interested in working with that professor but she doesn't have any courses listed. At least that I could find. Could I assume the "opportunity" to work with her?

03121202698008
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Re: Why michigan take 3, how is it?

Postby 03121202698008 » Wed Jul 28, 2010 12:19 am

dabbadon8 wrote:Appreciate your feedback. I am interested in working with that professor but she doesn't have any courses listed. At least that I could find. Could I assume the "opportunity" to work with her?


She may be teaching at a different school temporarily. I just logged in and looked and she has no classes this fall or winter term at the law school or anywhere else at Michigan.

You could e-mail her I guess....but that's a little weird.

dabbadon8
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Re: Why michigan take 3, how is it?

Postby dabbadon8 » Wed Jul 28, 2010 11:04 am

blowhard wrote:
dabbadon8 wrote:Appreciate your feedback. I am interested in working with that professor but she doesn't have any courses listed. At least that I could find. Could I assume the "opportunity" to work with her?


She may be teaching at a different school temporarily. I just logged in and looked and she has no classes this fall or winter term at the law school or anywhere else at Michigan.

You could e-mail her I guess....but that's a little weird.


damn, does that mean I should nix the part about her? I am interested in working with her, and my back ground and experience lines up well for the why? function... I assume that if she is listed as current faculty that it wouldn't be that I wouldn't have any chance to work with her.

03121202698008
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Re: Why michigan take 3, how is it?

Postby 03121202698008 » Wed Jul 28, 2010 11:13 am

dabbadon8 wrote:
blowhard wrote:
dabbadon8 wrote:Appreciate your feedback. I am interested in working with that professor but she doesn't have any courses listed. At least that I could find. Could I assume the "opportunity" to work with her?


She may be teaching at a different school temporarily. I just logged in and looked and she has no classes this fall or winter term at the law school or anywhere else at Michigan.

You could e-mail her I guess....but that's a little weird.


damn, does that mean I should nix the part about her? I am interested in working with her, and my back ground and experience lines up well for the why? function... I assume that if she is listed as current faculty that it wouldn't be that I wouldn't have any chance to work with her.


I would. Even if she is teaching doesn't mean you'll have a chance to work with her. If she teaches a 1L class and you are in a different section you won't see her. Maybe she hires all of her RAs from the psych department where she also teaches. Even if she hired from the LS, more people want to be RAs than there are RA positions. If you're thinking co-author, that would all depend on her personality and choices...

dabbadon8
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Joined: Tue May 11, 2010 2:17 am

Re: Why michigan take 3, how is it?

Postby dabbadon8 » Wed Jul 28, 2010 11:22 am

blowhard wrote:
dabbadon8 wrote:
blowhard wrote:
dabbadon8 wrote:Appreciate your feedback. I am interested in working with that professor but she doesn't have any courses listed. At least that I could find. Could I assume the "opportunity" to work with her?


She may be teaching at a different school temporarily. I just logged in and looked and she has no classes this fall or winter term at the law school or anywhere else at Michigan.

You could e-mail her I guess....but that's a little weird.


damn, does that mean I should nix the part about her? I am interested in working with her, and my back ground and experience lines up well for the why? function... I assume that if she is listed as current faculty that it wouldn't be that I wouldn't have any chance to work with her.


I would. Even if she is teaching doesn't mean you'll have a chance to work with her. If she teaches a 1L class and you are in a different section you won't see her. Maybe she hires all of her RAs from the psych department where she also teaches. Even if she hired from the LS, more people want to be RAs than there are RA positions. If you're thinking co-author, that would all depend on her personality and choices...



I see what you are saying. For the purpose of the why? essay though, do you think adcoms are going to view me wanting to work with her as a negative because it may be hard or unrealistic?

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cinefile 17
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Re: Why michigan take 3, how is it?

Postby cinefile 17 » Wed Jul 28, 2010 11:26 am

I read your last essay also, and I must say, this is astoundingly better. Before, I commented that it seemed like you had tried to pull an essay together from reading the website. I don't get that idea from reading this one. As someone who is very familiar with U of M you fooled me into thinking that you have a good idea of what the campus environment is like and I got the feeling that you had direction ("academically"). This is much better.

After reading the comments above, I think you should make the following changes

-The first paragraph story about your cousin could be more interesting/attention grabbing (but it's also a lot better than it was before, so it's improved a lot)

-Change the part about the professor as stated to make sure the reader knows you understand you may not be able to take a class with her

- As for this comment from the first post..."Which state? How would this make you an attractive candidate? This makes it seem all about you. Talk about how you believe that your skills could allow you to help someone in this clinic."
...it might be helpful to expand a little bit on how your experiences might allow you to help others, but it shouldn't be more than a sentence. You don't want your "Why Michigan" essay to sound to much like a personal statement.

-Don't say "unfriendly urban cities" because it is a generalization that does not make you sound open-minded (certainly there are urban cities that are friendly). Instead, phrase it in the affirmative way by saying that you do like the friendliness of a city like Ann Arbor. Also, one thing that I personally like about Ann Arbor, is that although it is smaller, it has many of the educational and cultural opportunities of a big city (we regularly have world renowned and prestigious artists, politicians, educators, and humanitarians visit our campus).

jnorsky
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Re: Why michigan take 3, how is it?

Postby jnorsky » Wed Jul 28, 2010 11:28 am

just say you wanna get wasted and see games at the big house, you'll get in

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holydonkey
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Re: Why michigan take 3, how is it?

Postby holydonkey » Wed Jul 28, 2010 11:32 am

I'd cut the first paragraph. It's not really needed.

Expand on your interest in the clinical programs. Michigan is known for public interest and its clinical programs. This is a good thing to focus on. Although you say you're interested in the Criminal Appellate Practice Clinic, maybe there are other practical criminal clinics you might be interested in as well, like Michigan's unique Innocence Clinic.

Talk more about how your specific background in psychology and your internship in the SA office made you interested in criminal law clinics and how you will use the clinics professionally. For example, do you want to be a SA? If so, how will participating in the clinical programs at Michigan prepare you for this job?


edit: Also, it's much better than it was.
Last edited by holydonkey on Wed Jul 28, 2010 11:36 am, edited 2 times in total.

NonTradHealthLaw
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Re: Why michigan take 3, how is it?

Postby NonTradHealthLaw » Wed Jul 28, 2010 11:33 am

dabbadon8 wrote: One would think his ramblings would have been lost on a child of seven,


I know you are going to do a final check's for grammar and punctuation, but this error alway's cause's me to vomit in my mouth.

dabbadon8
Posts: 767
Joined: Tue May 11, 2010 2:17 am

Re: Why michigan take 3, how is it?

Postby dabbadon8 » Wed Jul 28, 2010 12:00 pm

NonTradHealthLaw wrote:
dabbadon8 wrote: One would think his ramblings would have been lost on a child of seven,


I know you are going to do a final check's for grammar and punctuation, but this error alway's cause's me to vomit in my mouth.



you can go ahead and swallow, it is fixed.

Thanks for the help every one, I am working on a new draft now.




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