Personal Statement Draft One... Rip Apart as Needed

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
divabole
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:49 pm

Personal Statement Draft One... Rip Apart as Needed

Postby divabole » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:53 pm

Edited to remove.

Thank you for the feedback, will spend a few more days on it before presenting it again.
Last edited by divabole on Tue Jul 27, 2010 6:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

CanadianWolf
Posts: 10439
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm

Re: Personal Statement Draft One... Rip Apart as Needed

Postby CanadianWolf » Tue Jul 27, 2010 6:00 pm

Not good. Start over. This is just a chronological recitation of minor events in your life that aroused your interest. This personal statement is too superficial & offers scant insight into who you are & what influenced your development.

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Jack Smirks
Posts: 1340
Joined: Sat May 15, 2010 5:35 am

Re: Personal Statement Draft One... Rip Apart as Needed

Postby Jack Smirks » Tue Jul 27, 2010 6:06 pm

Yeah this just reads like you're reciting your resume and transcripts, honestly I don't even know where to start with this.

divabole
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:49 pm

Re: Personal Statement Draft One... Rip Apart as Needed

Postby divabole » Tue Jul 27, 2010 6:11 pm

Thx for the feedback. Giving it another go.




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