Basing your PS on overcoming an eating disorder? Forum

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[MrKappus]

Submit an addendum. Focus your PS on why you'll make a great law student/lawyer. Two essays about bulimia in one application is excessive. You'll have a hard time selling how well you've recovered if you seem to define yourself by your previous illness.

[ShuckingNotJiving]

I honestly think that the OP's graphic description can be used as a very effective opening, if done correctly, to capture the reader and draw them into exactly the kind of mental strength statement you are talking about Shucking. I agree that the details should not make up the main body of the statement, but certainly it might be an attention grabber as an opener. I know I would be curious to read if a statement opened up similar to this:

I was alone in my college dorm room with buckets of vomit stuffed in my closet. I immediately loathed myself for being in this situation rather than sitting in room 121 of University Hall taking notes for a College Algebra class, and my parched throat made the unpleasant feeling that I had hit a low point in my life that much more depressing. I was a young girl who had developed a serious eating disorder in my effort to gain acceptance and be seen as desirable by the world around me. It had taken over my life. I needed to change. By eventually overcoming my eating disorder, I developed characteristics that have not only helped me to become a much stronger person, but also help me to identify with those who struggle with similar self destructive issues.

Through my struggle to overcome my ED I initially struggled with 1) such and such issues. I began to develop and overcome my issues by 2) doing such and such positive activities. This began to translate into leadership capabilities, which I used to contribute in 3) such and such ways.

Through my experience, I have gained an understanding of what it is like to struggle with issues that become self destructive. I also understand the difficulty of overcoming such issues. It is for these reasons that I want to become a lawyer who works as an advocate in 'this area' to help 'such and such' people who face 'such and such issues' overcome their circumstances. I think that my experience with ED would make me an effective advocate for such people. Certainly I would find it satisfying.

While this is just off of the top of my head, and what you do will probably be a bit different, I think that your issue might actually make for a good PS if framed like this.

The problem, I think, with that statement and statements like it, is not that only they are too graphic, it's that they also ring a bit cliche. If anyone has opened up a Seventeen Magazine in the past few years (which you should, if you haven't just for anthropological research if nothing else) you will see stories as such, where the description the OP has given is there. It's been done. Isn't there something else less obvious that one can use to describe the disorder? That is also less jarring? Vomit just strikes me as a word that has no place in a PS.

Maybe...

"The familiar feeling of a stomach emptied and a throat parched crept upon me. The ripped bags and wrappers littered my dorm room floor, the mosaic I created while lost in the tremors of another binge. I listened to my dormmates' hurried conversations as they walked past my door, and again loathed myself for not going to class as they were, for not completing the assignments as they had, for not having it all. I was a young woman who had developed.....what esq said."

I don't know, even something like that gives the physical description that would "grab the reader's attention" without, well, using the word "vomit." Or "buckets" for that matter. Buckets is just a funny word.

[thecilent]

Could make this a great ds!! And then you can come up with a great ps, and make your application thatt much better.

make sure you write it really well. Post above gives a great look at how to write the intro

[BaiAilian2013]

I'm just confused on when this board started to think a PS needs to talk explicitly talk about being a lawyer and law school? For the few years I've been coming here (on and off) it's always been noted a PS is used to show how you conquered a personal struggle, and how that relates to your ability to do well in unfamiliar circumstances.

erm... You have to remember that you're applying to a professional school, not an undergraduate liberal arts institution... Overcoming obstacles is great, but if the admissions committee finishes reading your PS and still has no idea why you want to go to law school then you're in trouble. A lot of people simply go to law school because they don't know what else to do / think its a path a comfortable life. These apps are going to fall to the bottom of the pile when other PS's actually relate to the law and the legal profession.

I'd be very interested to see where this information is coming from, as it's the exact opposite of what most law school deans say when interviewed on the topic. It's not college, but it's not beauty school, either; the bar for "knowing enough about the profession that you can talk about it and not sound like an idiot" is very high, with the result that applicants aren't really expected to meet it.

[IAFG]

It's really sad how few of you really understand what eating disorders are all about. The fact that so many of you are all "No, that's digusting / don't talk about it" just reinforces the stigma and shame that sufferers feel, and makes it harder for them to be forthcoming about it enough to take steps to recover. Eating disorders are a disease like any other and are no more a moral or personal failing than cancer, schizophrenia, or diabetes.

OP, if you can make this work for you, go for it.

I definitely stigmatize eating disorders. I immediately think of vain, self-involved teenage girls. I definitely would not want to bet my cycle on adcomms being more generous.

[jjlaw]

My $0.02:

If you are writing your PS based on your eating disorder just to explain your GPA trend, I would stick with the addendum and choose another topic for your PS. But if you are writing about your eating disorder to outline how you matured through the process and gained insight to your life and aspirations, then I think it's an appropriate PS topic. It really depends on how you deliver the statement.

[Mike12188]

It's really sad how few of you really understand what eating disorders are all about. The fact that so many of you are all "No, that's digusting / don't talk about it" just reinforces the stigma and shame that sufferers feel, and makes it harder for them to be forthcoming about it enough to take steps to recover. Eating disorders are a disease like any other and are no more a moral or personal failing than cancer, schizophrenia, or diabetes.

OP, if you can make this work for you, go for it.

You can't compare an eating disorder to cancer or diabetes.

[Mike12188]

My $0.02:

If you are writing your PS based on your eating disorder just to explain your GPA trend, I would stick with the addendum and choose another topic for your PS. But if you are writing about your eating disorder to outline how you matured through the process and gained insight to your life and aspirations, then I think it's an appropriate PS topic. It really depends on how you deliver the statement.

+1

[dominkay]

I honestly think that the OP's graphic description can be used as a very effective opening, if done correctly, to capture the reader and draw them into exactly the kind of mental strength statement you are talking about Shucking. I agree that the details should not make up the main body of the statement, but certainly it might be an attention grabber as an opener. I know I would be curious to read if a statement opened up similar to this:

I was alone in my college dorm room with buckets of vomit stuffed in my closet. I immediately loathed myself for being in this situation rather than sitting in room 121 of University Hall taking notes for a College Algebra class, and my parched throat made the unpleasant feeling that I had hit a low point in my life that much more depressing. I was a young girl who had developed a serious eating disorder in my effort to gain acceptance and be seen as desirable by the world around me. It had taken over my life. I needed to change. By eventually overcoming my eating disorder, I developed characteristics that have not only helped me to become a much stronger person, but also help me to identify with those who struggle with similar self destructive issues.

Through my struggle to overcome my ED I initially struggled with 1) such and such issues. I began to develop and overcome my issues by 2) doing such and such positive activities. This began to translate into leadership capabilities, which I used to contribute in 3) such and such ways.

Through my experience, I have gained an understanding of what it is like to struggle with issues that become self destructive. I also understand the difficulty of overcoming such issues. It is for these reasons that I want to become a lawyer who works as an advocate in 'this area' to help 'such and such' people who face 'such and such issues' overcome their circumstances. I think that my experience with ED would make me an effective advocate for such people. Certainly I would find it satisfying.

While this is just off of the top of my head, and what you do will probably be a bit different, I think that your issue might actually make for a good PS if framed like this.

The problem, I think, with that statement and statements like it, is not that only they are too graphic, it's that they also ring a bit cliche. If anyone has opened up a Seventeen Magazine in the past few years (which you should, if you haven't just for anthropological research if nothing else) you will see stories as such, where the description the OP has given is there. It's been done. Isn't there something else less obvious that one can use to describe the disorder? That is also less jarring? Vomit just strikes me as a word that has no place in a PS.

Maybe...

"The familiar feeling of a stomach emptied and a throat parched crept upon me. The ripped bags and wrappers littered my dorm room floor, the mosaic I created while lost in the tremors of another binge. I listened to my dormmates' hurried conversations as they walked past my door, and again loathed myself for not going to class as they were, for not completing the assignments as they had, for not having it all. I was a young woman who had developed.....what esq said."

I don't know, even something like that gives the physical description that would "grab the reader's attention" without, well, using the word "vomit." Or "buckets" for that matter. Buckets is just a funny word.

Dude, your suggestion is straight-up terrible. It is bad writing. It really sucks. Her description is effective because it's clear and direct and much less dramatic. She should stick with it.

[MrKappus]

I def advocate ED awareness, but comparing vomiting in buckets + hoarding them w/ cancer is a bit much.

[ShuckingNotJiving]

Yeah, it's a bit much because of the description -- it's like talking about an drug addiction and opening with: "I spent all day sticking needles into my arm." It evokes repulsion before it evokes compassion which I don't think is what you want in a delicate subject as this. Build a character, build a context, then getting into the serious stuff.


And, Dominkay, I was offering the suggestion not to be critiqued, but to give the reader an idea of a subtle way to introduce the topic. But, since you did offer a critique, let me just say, I'm not necessarily concerned about the opinion of someone whose rationale is -- "it just sucks."

But let's not digress. OP, now I'm sure you have more suggestions and opinions than you know what to do with. Good luck!

[03121202698008]

Don't do it. Stay positive. This also isn't very unique. I remember reading a couple of these last year.

[dominkay]

Yeah, it's a bit much because of the description -- it's like talking about an drug addiction and opening with: "I spent all day sticking needles into my arm." It evokes repulsion before it evokes compassion which I don't think is what you want in a delicate subject as this. Build a character, build a context, then getting into the serious stuff.


And, Dominkay, I was offering the suggestion not to be critiqued, but to give the reader an idea of a subtle way to introduce the topic. But, since you did offer a critique, let me just say, I'm not necessarily concerned about the opinion of someone whose rationale is -- "it just sucks."

But let's not digress. OP, now I'm sure you have more suggestions and opinions than you know what to do with. Good luck!

Actually, that wasn't my rationale. My rationale was implied in the statement about why her version was superior: yours is overwrought and unclear and indirect. The standard advice about overcoming adversity themed statements on TLS is Stick To The Facts. Your version is not the facts. It is flowery nonsense.

Also, between the OP's lackluster GPA and unspectacular LSAT score, they should be looking to stand out from other applicants. I think a small, carefully administered dose of repulsion is a whole lot better (and more interesting) than two pages of eyerolling over silly words like "parched" and "mosaic" and "loathed."

[MrKappus]

As I forced saliva down my parched esophagus, I loathed my mosaic of abandoned cellophane wrappers, laying across the floor like shipwrecks around the sirens.

[billyez]

As I forced saliva down my parched esophagus, I loathed my mosaic of abandoned cellophane wrappers, laying across the floor like shipwrecks around the sirens.

Not funny.

[legalease9]

It's really sad how few of you really understand what eating disorders are all about. The fact that so many of you are all "No, that's digusting / don't talk about it" just reinforces the stigma and shame that sufferers feel, and makes it harder for them to be forthcoming about it enough to take steps to recover. Eating disorders are a disease like any other and are no more a moral or personal failing than cancer, schizophrenia, or diabetes.

OP, if you can make this work for you, go for it.

I definitely stigmatize eating disorders. I immediately think of vain, self-involved teenage girls. I definitely would not want to bet my cycle on adcomms being more generous.

I don't think most adcomms think like this. To be honest, I don't think most people think like this. The adcomms will indeed be far more generous.

The greater threat is adcomms fear that you can't handle law school, rather than that they will look down on you. Again, focus on overcomming the disorder.

[legalease9]

I'm just confused on when this board started to think a PS needs to talk explicitly talk about being a lawyer and law school? For the few years I've been coming here (on and off) it's always been noted a PS is used to show how you conquered a personal struggle, and how that relates to your ability to do well in unfamiliar circumstances.

erm... You have to remember that you're applying to a professional school, not an undergraduate liberal arts institution... Overcoming obstacles is great, but if the admissions committee finishes reading your PS and still has no idea why you want to go to law school then you're in trouble. A lot of people simply go to law school because they don't know what else to do / think its a path a comfortable life. These apps are going to fall to the bottom of the pile when other PS's actually relate to the law and the legal profession.

I'd be very interested to see where this information is coming from, as it's the exact opposite of what most law school deans say when interviewed on the topic. It's not college, but it's not beauty school, either; the bar for "knowing enough about the profession that you can talk about it and not sound like an idiot" is very high, with the result that applicants aren't really expected to meet it.

Exactly. Law schools don't care about what you know about the law, or even the legal profession. They want their school filled with interesting people who can provide diverse backgrounds as they learn about the law and the legal profession. You should still have some of your PS explain why you want to be a lawyer, but focusing on other aspects of yourself make you more, not less, interesting.

[ShuckingNotJiving]

Yeah, it's a bit much because of the description -- it's like talking about an drug addiction and opening with: "I spent all day sticking needles into my arm." It evokes repulsion before it evokes compassion which I don't think is what you want in a delicate subject as this. Build a character, build a context, then getting into the serious stuff.


And, Dominkay, I was offering the suggestion not to be critiqued, but to give the reader an idea of a subtle way to introduce the topic. But, since you did offer a critique, let me just say, I'm not necessarily concerned about the opinion of someone whose rationale is -- "it just sucks."

But let's not digress. OP, now I'm sure you have more suggestions and opinions than you know what to do with. Good luck!

Actually, that wasn't my rationale. My rationale was implied in the statement about why her version was superior: yours is overwrought and unclear and indirect. The standard advice about overcoming adversity themed statements on TLS is Stick To The Facts. Your version is not the facts. It is flowery nonsense.

Also, between the OP's lackluster GPA and unspectacular LSAT score, they should be looking to stand out from other applicants. I think a small, carefully administered dose of repulsion is a whole lot better (and more interesting) than two pages of eyerolling over silly words like "parched" and "mosaic" and "loathed."

I'm sorry, I wasn't looking for many implications in your original post, saying as how I tend not to read too much into posts that begin with "dude," or include "straight-up." When you say: "This is bad writing," that seemed to be your critique. So, I imagined that what followed your critique would be your rationale. Since it was followed by: "It really sucks," I assumed that was your rationale as to why it was bad writing. Was I supposed to assume instead that "It really sucks" was your way of saying the paragraph above? Was there some type of footnote I missed?

If you look closely at the comments you are so hastily giving your opinions on, you will see that the OP hasn't even posted a sample of her PS. What I was commenting on was another poster's ideas of where she should take it. And if you read closely (again) you'll notice that the "silly words" like "parched" and "loathed" I was taking from those ideas. So, the version that you are exalting, has the exact words you have now deemed "silly." Obviously, my suggestion is not the facts because I don't know the facts. It was a hypothetical, my "if you were to approach it, here is how you might." I have no idea about this woman's experience except that she had some form of bulimia. So I took it from there.

And, how do you deduce that a first paragraph that has a bit of drama, will then be followed by "two pages" of "silly words?" The writer could set up the contrast between the frantic, irrational mindset of a woman with an eating disorder in the first paragraph, with the level-headed woman who has overcome it in the rest of the essay. The suggestion I gave was unclear and indirect (only in the sense that I hadn't directly mentioned the eating disorder) sure, but I think that it could capture the mindset of a woman going through an eating disorder quite well.

Lastly, since you seem to be strictly following the TLS Guide to Personal Statements, let me just mention that I don't recall reading any well-done PS samples that administered any bit of repulsion, handled "carefully" or not. Drama? Yes, I've seen that. If you think the phrase "I had buckets of vomit in my closet" is a phrase where repulsion is handled carefully, well, then, I guess that explains your avatar.

Mr. Kappus, your insensitive take on the subject, is not only lazily hyperbolic, but shows a desire to fit in that is ridiculous.

[dominkay]

Yeah, it's a bit much because of the description -- it's like talking about an drug addiction and opening with: "I spent all day sticking needles into my arm." It evokes repulsion before it evokes compassion which I don't think is what you want in a delicate subject as this. Build a character, build a context, then getting into the serious stuff.


And, Dominkay, I was offering the suggestion not to be critiqued, but to give the reader an idea of a subtle way to introduce the topic. But, since you did offer a critique, let me just say, I'm not necessarily concerned about the opinion of someone whose rationale is -- "it just sucks."

But let's not digress. OP, now I'm sure you have more suggestions and opinions than you know what to do with. Good luck!

Actually, that wasn't my rationale. My rationale was implied in the statement about why her version was superior: yours is overwrought and unclear and indirect. The standard advice about overcoming adversity themed statements on TLS is Stick To The Facts. Your version is not the facts. It is flowery nonsense.

Also, between the OP's lackluster GPA and unspectacular LSAT score, they should be looking to stand out from other applicants. I think a small, carefully administered dose of repulsion is a whole lot better (and more interesting) than two pages of eyerolling over silly words like "parched" and "mosaic" and "loathed."

I'm sorry, I wasn't looking for many implications in your original post, saying as how I tend not to read too much into posts that begin with "dude," or include "straight-up." When you say: "This is bad writing," that seemed to be your critique. So, I imagined that what followed your critique would be your rationale. Since it was followed by: "It really sucks," I assumed that was your rationale as to why it was bad writing. Was I supposed to assume instead that "It really sucks" was your way of saying the paragraph above? Was there some type of footnote I missed?

If you look closely at the comments you are so hastily giving your opinions on, you will see that the OP hasn't even posted a sample of her PS. What I was commenting on was another poster's ideas of where she should take it. And if you read closely (again) you'll notice that the "silly words" like "parched" and "loathed" I was taking from those ideas. So, the version that you are exalting, has the exact words you have now deemed "silly." Obviously, my suggestion is not the facts because I don't know the facts. It was a hypothetical, my "if you were to approach it, here is how you might." I have no idea about this woman's experience except that she had some form of bulimia. So I took it from there.

And, how do you deduce that a first paragraph that has a bit of drama, will then be followed by "two pages" of "silly words?" The writer could set up the contrast between the frantic, irrational mindset of a woman with an eating disorder in the first paragraph, with the level-headed woman who has overcome it in the rest of the essay. The suggestion I gave was unclear and indirect (only in the sense that I hadn't directly mentioned the eating disorder) sure, but I think that it could capture the mindset of a woman going through an eating disorder quite well.

Lastly, since you seem to be strictly following the TLS Guide to Personal Statements, let me just mention that I don't recall reading any well-done PS samples that administered any bit of repulsion, handled "carefully" or not. Drama? Yes, I've seen that. If you think the phrase "I had buckets of vomit in my closet" is a phrase where repulsion is handled carefully, well, then, I guess that explains your avatar.

Mr. Kappus, your insensitive take on the subject, is not only lazily hyperbolic, but shows a desire to fit in that is ridiculous.

You dissed my 'tar? Now it's on.

[thecilent]

Yeah, it's a bit much because of the description -- it's like talking about an drug addiction and opening with: "I spent all day sticking needles into my arm." It evokes repulsion before it evokes compassion which I don't think is what you want in a delicate subject as this. Build a character, build a context, then getting into the serious stuff.


And, Dominkay, I was offering the suggestion not to be critiqued, but to give the reader an idea of a subtle way to introduce the topic. But, since you did offer a critique, let me just say, I'm not necessarily concerned about the opinion of someone whose rationale is -- "it just sucks."

But let's not digress. OP, now I'm sure you have more suggestions and opinions than you know what to do with. Good luck!

Actually, that wasn't my rationale. My rationale was implied in the statement about why her version was superior: yours is overwrought and unclear and indirect. The standard advice about overcoming adversity themed statements on TLS is Stick To The Facts. Your version is not the facts. It is flowery nonsense.

Also, between the OP's lackluster GPA and unspectacular LSAT score, they should be looking to stand out from other applicants. I think a small, carefully administered dose of repulsion is a whole lot better (and more interesting) than two pages of eyerolling over silly words like "parched" and "mosaic" and "loathed."

I'm sorry, I wasn't looking for many implications in your original post, saying as how I tend not to read too much into posts that begin with "dude," or include "straight-up." When you say: "This is bad writing," that seemed to be your critique. So, I imagined that what followed your critique would be your rationale. Since it was followed by: "It really sucks," I assumed that was your rationale as to why it was bad writing. Was I supposed to assume instead that "It really sucks" was your way of saying the paragraph above? Was there some type of footnote I missed?

If you look closely at the comments you are so hastily giving your opinions on, you will see that the OP hasn't even posted a sample of her PS. What I was commenting on was another poster's ideas of where she should take it. And if you read closely (again) you'll notice that the "silly words" like "parched" and "loathed" I was taking from those ideas. So, the version that you are exalting, has the exact words you have now deemed "silly." Obviously, my suggestion is not the facts because I don't know the facts. It was a hypothetical, my "if you were to approach it, here is how you might." I have no idea about this woman's experience except that she had some form of bulimia. So I took it from there.

And, how do you deduce that a first paragraph that has a bit of drama, will then be followed by "two pages" of "silly words?" The writer could set up the contrast between the frantic, irrational mindset of a woman with an eating disorder in the first paragraph, with the level-headed woman who has overcome it in the rest of the essay. The suggestion I gave was unclear and indirect (only in the sense that I hadn't directly mentioned the eating disorder) sure, but I think that it could capture the mindset of a woman going through an eating disorder quite well.

Lastly, since you seem to be strictly following the TLS Guide to Personal Statements, let me just mention that I don't recall reading any well-done PS samples that administered any bit of repulsion, handled "carefully" or not. Drama? Yes, I've seen that. If you think the phrase "I had buckets of vomit in my closet" is a phrase where repulsion is handled carefully, well, then, I guess that explains your avatar.

Mr. Kappus, your insensitive take on the subject, is not only lazily hyperbolic, but shows a desire to fit in that is ridiculous.

+1 up until the tar- and mr. kappus-hating

[billyez]

I can't blame her for not putting up her PS based on what's being said here...the OP should definetely send it by PM to those who would like to read it.

[IAFG]

I definitely stigmatize eating disorders. I immediately think of vain, self-involved teenage girls. I definitely would not want to bet my cycle on adcomms being more generous.

I don't think most adcomms think like this. To be honest, I don't think most people think like this. The adcomms will indeed be far more generous.
The greater threat is adcomms fear that you can't handle law school, rather than that they will look down on you. Again, focus on overcomming the disorder.

who are you to claim this? people can't help what they're subconsciously influenced by.

[jjlaw]

I can't blame her for not putting up her PS based on what's being said here...the OP should definetely send it by PM to those who would like to read it.

+1. OP, I would be happy to read your draft if you're looking for critique.

[crossingforHYS]

just saw your previous posts. with your GPA, I would say that the ED was a significant part of your life that requires more then an addendum...I would write a PS.