Which elements to include, which to leave out?

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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rman1201
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Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2010 4:11 pm

Which elements to include, which to leave out?

Postby rman1201 » Fri Jun 18, 2010 10:49 am

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Last edited by rman1201 on Mon Jun 28, 2010 10:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

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OkieGirl
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Re: Which elements to include, which to leave out?

Postby OkieGirl » Fri Jun 18, 2010 11:05 am

Are you URM? If so, I would include information like this (background/upbringing) in my diversity statement and used the personal statement to discuss other endeavors and accomplishments (TFA experience).

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rman1201
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Re: Which elements to include, which to leave out?

Postby rman1201 » Fri Jun 18, 2010 11:20 am

OkieGirl wrote:Are you URM? If so, I would include information like this (background/upbringing) in my diversity statement and used the personal statement to discuss other endeavors and accomplishments (TFA experience).


I mean I have the struggle, just not the skin color. I grew up in a very 'diverse' environment, heck my highschool was literally across the street from the projects (and not a magnet school) - we could hear gunshots from the football field.

Nothing really all that interesting like TFA/Peace Corps. Just stuff that they would probably get the gist of from resume (Research Assistant, Internships, Work Experience).

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rdcws000
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Re: Which elements to include, which to leave out?

Postby rdcws000 » Fri Jun 18, 2010 4:38 pm

Some may disagree with me, but my opinion:

Make minor mention of growing up poor if you can do it discreetly and without attracting any undue attention.

Make independent thought the main point of your PS, and support it by creative writing that demonstrates it. I don't think the atheist being from a catholic family is suicice unless a) you're applying to a catholic school or b) you became atheist out of rebellion-this would just make you look immature.

If you had legitimate, non-attention grabbing thoughts and ideas which led you to become a vegetarian atheist then you should describe them in a colorful way.

efs410
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Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2009 9:35 pm

Re: Which elements to include, which to leave out?

Postby efs410 » Fri Jun 18, 2010 4:43 pm

- Grew up poor as dirt (not in that phrasing obv.)-mention
- Raised in trailer park; though luckily never assimilated into the culture.mention but be careful b/c that sound snobby
- The lucky recipient of toy drive/food drive goodsmention

- Independent thinker
- Became vegetarian at 5 with no discernable influence; my writing professor thought that was interesting and worth considering inclusionno
- Atheist from Catholic family (would probably be suicide to include, but just throwing ideas out there. This is more of a brainstorm than anything else)maybe but probably not worth it
- If it's worth anything, went to crappy public schools and was among the few to not go to Com College maybe but u shouldn't knock people that did goto com college makes u look like a snob

- Other random stuff that I might somehow find a way to tie in
- 3 semesters as a research assistant maybe if u can make it sound interesting
- Analytical thinker, interested in further research later onnot really
- Worked various crap jobs through collegemaybe but so did everyone else
- Interested in / took courses in a wide breadth of disciplines - Polisci, Psych, Sciences, Economics, Business, even Theatreboring
- Strong upward grade trend mention if ur not writting an addendum




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