GPA Addendum - Please Critique!

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Always Credited
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Re: GPA Addendum - Please Critique!

Postby Always Credited » Fri May 21, 2010 5:51 pm

That's exactly the point. You can be a mechanic and not know about cars. You can be unemployed and not seeking work. It does not necessitate that you are a mechanic b/c you know a lot about cars and it does not necessitate that you are unemployed because you are seeking work. You can be mechanic and not know about cars. You can be unemployed and not seeking work. These are descriptive qualities....and case-specific descriptive qualities. In my case, the descriptive qualities are accurate.



recaldo wrote:Nice try.

To be a professional basketball player is to know how to dribble.

To be a mechanic is to know a lot about cars.

To be unemployed is to be seeking a job.


These statements are not definitions of a basketball player, a mechanic, or an unemployed person. They are statements describing some aspect of a basketball player, a mechanic, or an unemployed person. Would you describe a basketball player as someone who knows how to dribble? Absolutely not. A professional level basketball player is someone who engages in the sport we call basketball on a regular basis at a professional level. And they most surely know how to dribble.

Thus, to be an orphan is to not know one's roots or past. Is that the definition of an orphan? Absolutely not. It's a description of the characteristics of an orphan. An orphan is someone who(in this case and as the definition says) is "a child who has been deprived of parental care and has not been adopted." And just like a basketball player who knows how to dribble, it is someone who knows not his roots of past.




Always Credited wrote:
recaldo wrote:Hi everyone. I would like some critiques and criticisms on this first draft GPA Addenum. Let me know if you can feel the wound.

My poor undergraduate performance was something of my own making and I take full responsibility for the bad academic choices I made while at <top 10 school>. As the LSAT shows, there is a distinction between correlation and causation and, as far as I know, we are still working on the causes of human behavior. It has taken over four years of deep self-reflection, eights years of temporal distance from events, and an everlasting, if naïve, belief that terrible events can be explained, examined, and can lead to a conclusion about one’s personhood in order to write this GPA Addendum. This is my best explanation of the circumstances surrounding my academic performance. It is not meant as an excuse. I offer it to the Admissions Committee for use as a partial explanation for my trajectory.

To be an orphan is to not know one’s roots or past. Between my Senior year of high school and my freshman year at college, a bread-winning member of my family developed a severe psychiatric disorder where she became violent. I was routinely abused physically, emotionally, and mentally. Police were present at my house often in response to violent acts. I was sometimes locked out of my house and forced to live outside during cold winters in makeshift bedding that I constructed myself. Other times, I was imprisoned, or handcuffed, for days at a time. School counselors and advisors, well-informed of a destabilized family situation due to the smallish nature of <small town> advised me not to attend college, rather they suggested that I “take a year off,” presumably because they knew I was too damaged to perform at <top 10 school>. I responded, “and stay where?” I was homeless in many ways – I could not count on shelter, on stability, or support. I could, however, count on violence, verbal explosions, and barbarism. Adding to the trauma, it was revealed that my brother, <name>, who never really looked like me, was not the product of my mother and my father, but rather my mother or my father! The intense fighting brought out the truth sixteen years after his birth, long after he was assumed to be of my blood.

Despite having a low GPA, <top 10 school> never asked me to leave and never asked me to take time off(the traditional method of dealing with low GPA students) because they were aware of the situation. I was, frankly, screwed up. But within two and half years I was already recovering. I received much higher grades between my _ and _ years, led student groups, and obtained competitive internships where I was offered full-time jobs.

But then, unfortunately, there was more trauma. CNN to see my apartment building in New York City in flames; the very apartment building I returned to between my years at <top 10 school>. The place I now called home. My refuge. A plane had crashed into <address in nyc>; right into the apartment where my father had moved to escape the same broken home I had escaped only years prior. It was a direct hit As I watched flames shoot out of the building on CNN, the camera panning to gawking pedestrians and desperate fire fighters, a sinking feeling came over me: I was homeless again. When I eventually returned to the building after the accident in which two people died and one was severely burned, I stood on the precipice of the gigantic hole the plane and explosion had formed on the <floor #> of the <building official title>, wind whipping in my hair, and the lights of the New York City skyline closer than ever before and realized that it was no different than any other time in my recent memory. I was living in a vacuum. The hole in the building was the hole I had felt since high school, the hole in my family life. The hole in my entire life.
This was the day when things turned. I had nothing but myself now and my experiences. I was a wounded orphan. But I’m over it.

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Re: GPA Addendum - Please Critique!

Postby recaldo » Fri May 21, 2010 5:55 pm

Rikkugrrl wrote:I think I can clear this up...maybe?

What happens if your parents died at a very young age, but you have ample information available on their lives, background, and heritage through diaries etc? Let's say these sources also include information on your life when your parents were still with you. Then you know your roots and your background, but by OP's definition, you're not an orphan, since "to be an orphan is to not know one's roots or background." That wouldn't make sense since it's generally understood that if both your parents died at a young age, you're an orphan. That's why not knowing your roots doesn't label you as an orphan. In fact, lots of lazy kids these days don't know or care about their roots. Does that make them all orphans?

I hope that clears it up, and if it doesn't...orphan is not a great word to use, even if you did qualify as one. I'm not sure why this has turned into such a big deal. Just delete it and move on.


No, please reread what I wrote.

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kalvano
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Re: GPA Addendum - Please Critique!

Postby kalvano » Fri May 21, 2010 5:56 pm

Rikkugrrl wrote:I think I can clear this up...maybe?

What happens if your parents died at a very young age, but you have ample information available on their lives, background, and heritage through diaries etc? Let's say these sources also include information on your life when your parents were still with you. Then you know your roots and your background, but by OP's definition, you're not an orphan, since "to be an orphan is to not know one's roots or background." That wouldn't make sense since it's generally understood that if both your parents died at a young age, you're an orphan. That's why not knowing your roots doesn't label you as an orphan. In fact, lots of lazy kids these days don't know or care about their roots. Does that make them all orphans?

I hope that clears it up, and if it doesn't...orphan is not a great word to use, even if you did qualify as one. I'm not sure why this has turned into such a big deal. Just delete it and move on.


The problem isn't the word. Using "orphan" is a little trite, but it's not too terrible. The problem is the writing. It's dropped in there for no discernible reason and then never explained. There is no build-up, no nothing to explain the use of the word and why he believes it applies to him.

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Re: GPA Addendum - Please Critique!

Postby recaldo » Fri May 21, 2010 5:59 pm

kalvano wrote:
Rikkugrrl wrote:I think I can clear this up...maybe?

What happens if your parents died at a very young age, but you have ample information available on their lives, background, and heritage through diaries etc? Let's say these sources also include information on your life when your parents were still with you. Then you know your roots and your background, but by OP's definition, you're not an orphan, since "to be an orphan is to not know one's roots or background." That wouldn't make sense since it's generally understood that if both your parents died at a young age, you're an orphan. That's why not knowing your roots doesn't label you as an orphan. In fact, lots of lazy kids these days don't know or care about their roots. Does that make them all orphans?

I hope that clears it up, and if it doesn't...orphan is not a great word to use, even if you did qualify as one. I'm not sure why this has turned into such a big deal. Just delete it and move on.


The problem isn't the word. Using "orphan" is a little trite, but it's not too terrible. The problem is the writing. It's dropped in there for no discernible reason and then never explained. There is no build-up, no nothing to explain the use of the word and why he believes it applies to him.


Sorry Kalvano, but others seem to get it. Also if you can't figure out why it applies to me it just proves my hypothesis - that you are dumb. I don't really know what else to say.

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Rikkugrrl
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Re: GPA Addendum - Please Critique!

Postby Rikkugrrl » Fri May 21, 2010 6:00 pm

recaldo wrote:
Rikkugrrl wrote:I think I can clear this up...maybe?

What happens if your parents died at a very young age, but you have ample information available on their lives, background, and heritage through diaries etc? Let's say these sources also include information on your life when your parents were still with you. Then you know your roots and your background, but by OP's definition, you're not an orphan, since "to be an orphan is to not know one's roots or background." That wouldn't make sense since it's generally understood that if both your parents died at a young age, you're an orphan. That's why not knowing your roots doesn't label you as an orphan. In fact, lots of lazy kids these days don't know or care about their roots. Does that make them all orphans?

I hope that clears it up, and if it doesn't...orphan is not a great word to use, even if you did qualify as one. I'm not sure why this has turned into such a big deal. Just delete it and move on.


No, please reread what I wrote.


I did. You gave a definition of the word orphan. Your definition said "to be an orphan is to not know one's roots or past." I gave an example of an orphan who does know his roots/past to try to show why this isn't the best definition of orphan.

If I didn't read it right or misread something I'll be happy to go back on what I said.

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Re: GPA Addendum - Please Critique!

Postby kalvano » Fri May 21, 2010 6:01 pm

recaldo wrote:Sorry Kalvano, but others seem to get it. Also if you can't figure out why it applies to me it just proves my hypothesis - that you are dumb. I don't really know what else to say.



Actually, no. No one seems to get it. Everyone is questioning you on it.

Instead of being rude to you, I was trying to offer something a little more substantial than a sarcastic remark. But since both elicit the same response, I'll just go back to pointing out how batshit insane you are.

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Re: GPA Addendum - Please Critique!

Postby recaldo » Fri May 21, 2010 6:02 pm

Rikkugrrl wrote:
recaldo wrote:
Rikkugrrl wrote:I think I can clear this up...maybe?

What happens if your parents died at a very young age, but you have ample information available on their lives, background, and heritage through diaries etc? Let's say these sources also include information on your life when your parents were still with you. Then you know your roots and your background, but by OP's definition, you're not an orphan, since "to be an orphan is to not know one's roots or background." That wouldn't make sense since it's generally understood that if both your parents died at a young age, you're an orphan. That's why not knowing your roots doesn't label you as an orphan. In fact, lots of lazy kids these days don't know or care about their roots. Does that make them all orphans?

I hope that clears it up, and if it doesn't...orphan is not a great word to use, even if you did qualify as one. I'm not sure why this has turned into such a big deal. Just delete it and move on.


No, please reread what I wrote.


I did. You gave a definition of the word orphan. Your definition said "to be an orphan is to not know one's roots or past." I gave an example of an orphan who does know his roots/past to try to show why this isn't the best definition of orphan.

If I didn't read it right or misread something I'll be happy to go back on what I said.


I did not give a definition of the word orphan. That is your mistake.

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Re: GPA Addendum - Please Critique!

Postby kalvano » Fri May 21, 2010 6:03 pm

recaldo wrote:I did not give a definition of the word orphan. That is your mistake.



To say what something is is to define it.

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Re: GPA Addendum - Please Critique!

Postby recaldo » Fri May 21, 2010 6:03 pm

kalvano wrote:
recaldo wrote:Sorry Kalvano, but others seem to get it. Also if you can't figure out why it applies to me it just proves my hypothesis - that you are dumb. I don't really know what else to say.



Actually, no. No one seems to get it. Everyone is questioning you on it.

Instead of being rude to you, I was trying to offer something a little more substantial than a sarcastic remark. But since both elicit the same response, I'll just go back to pointing out how batshit insane you are.


The people who aren't questioning me, who think it's "above-average writing", "compelling" and "a great story" are attending T14 schools. You are not. Your advice is worth nothing to me. Please stop critiquing my essay.

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Re: GPA Addendum - Please Critique!

Postby kalvano » Fri May 21, 2010 6:04 pm

recaldo wrote:
kalvano wrote:
recaldo wrote:Sorry Kalvano, but others seem to get it. Also if you can't figure out why it applies to me it just proves my hypothesis - that you are dumb. I don't really know what else to say.



Actually, no. No one seems to get it. Everyone is questioning you on it.

Instead of being rude to you, I was trying to offer something a little more substantial than a sarcastic remark. But since both elicit the same response, I'll just go back to pointing out how batshit insane you are.


The people who aren't questioning me, who think it's "above-average writing", "compelling" and "a great story" are attending T14 schools. You are not. Your advice is worth nothing to me. Please stop critiquing my essay.



Well, have them post their critiques then.

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Re: GPA Addendum - Please Critique!

Postby Pisto3 » Fri May 21, 2010 6:06 pm

kalvano wrote:Apparently, you can also be a top-10 UG student and not know how to form a sentence or use logic, as well.


Let's not forget that OP wrote a "famous book"!


Edited for clarity...
Last edited by Pisto3 on Fri May 21, 2010 6:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: GPA Addendum - Please Critique!

Postby recaldo » Fri May 21, 2010 6:06 pm

kalvano wrote:
recaldo wrote:I did not give a definition of the word orphan. That is your mistake.



To say what something is is to define it.


Oh really? LOL. I didn't know you solved hundreds of years of philosophical inquiry and know what is means.

Also, again, if you read my response to this, you will see that 1)that is not what I meant and 2)that to say "To be a professional basketball player is to know how to dribble" is not the definition of a professional basketball player, yet profesisonal basketball playrs know how to dribble.

What don't you understand? I am happy to explain

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Re: GPA Addendum - Please Critique!

Postby recaldo » Fri May 21, 2010 6:06 pm

kalvano wrote:
recaldo wrote:
kalvano wrote:
recaldo wrote:Sorry Kalvano, but others seem to get it. Also if you can't figure out why it applies to me it just proves my hypothesis - that you are dumb. I don't really know what else to say.



Actually, no. No one seems to get it. Everyone is questioning you on it.

Instead of being rude to you, I was trying to offer something a little more substantial than a sarcastic remark. But since both elicit the same response, I'll just go back to pointing out how batshit insane you are.


The people who aren't questioning me, who think it's "above-average writing", "compelling" and "a great story" are attending T14 schools. You are not. Your advice is worth nothing to me. Please stop critiquing my essay.



Well, have them post their critiques then.


They have. go to the other thread.

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Re: GPA Addendum - Please Critique!

Postby recaldo » Fri May 21, 2010 6:07 pm

Pisto3 wrote:
kalvano wrote:Apparently, you can also be a top-10 UG student and not know how to form a sentence or use logic, as well.


Let's not forget that he wrote a famous book!


What's wrong with that? Why is that mocking worthy?

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Re: GPA Addendum - Please Critique!

Postby Rikkugrrl » Fri May 21, 2010 6:08 pm

kalvano wrote:
recaldo wrote:I did not give a definition of the word orphan. That is your mistake.



To say what something is is to define it.


Yes.

And even if you're not explicitly stating "According to Webster's dictionary, an orphan is..." you did say to be an orphan is to not know one's roots or past. Unless my example is flawed, I don't think that's right. That's why people have been saying you're not an orphan, because not knowing one's roots or past is not characteristic of an orphan. Orphans can and often do know their roots and past.

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Re: GPA Addendum - Please Critique!

Postby kalvano » Fri May 21, 2010 6:08 pm

recaldo wrote:What don't you understand? I am happy to explain



When it comes to you? I'm pretty sure Ken doesn't have the server space to allow you to answer that.

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Re: GPA Addendum - Please Critique!

Postby kalvano » Fri May 21, 2010 6:09 pm

recaldo wrote:They have. go to the other thread.



I did. Everyone there commented on what a poor choice it was too.

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Re: GPA Addendum - Please Critique!

Postby Always Credited » Fri May 21, 2010 6:10 pm

recaldo wrote:
kalvano wrote:
recaldo wrote:I did not give a definition of the word orphan. That is your mistake.



To say what something is is to define it.


Oh really? LOL. I didn't know you solved hundreds of years of philosophical inquiry and know what is means.

Also, again, if you read my response to this, you will see that 1)that is not what I meant and 2)that to say "To be a professional basketball player is to know how to dribble" is not the definition of a professional basketball player, yet profesisonal basketball playrs know how to dribble.

What don't you understand? I am happy to explain


Knowing to dribble is a necessary part of playing basketball professionally. Not knowing your roots or past, however, is NOT a necessary part of being an orphan. You can be an orphan while knowing everything there is to know about your roots - you cannot, however, play professional basketball without knowing how to dribble.

You can start retreating from this thread now as well.

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hotdog123
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Re: GPA Addendum - Please Critique!

Postby hotdog123 » Fri May 21, 2010 6:10 pm

Image

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Pisto3
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Re: GPA Addendum - Please Critique!

Postby Pisto3 » Fri May 21, 2010 6:11 pm

Rikkugrrl wrote:
And even if you're not explicitly stating "According to Webster's dictionary, an orphan is..." you did say to be an orphan is to not know one's roots or past. Unless my example is flawed, I don't think that's right. That's why people have been saying you're not an orphan, because not knowing one's roots or past is not characteristic of an orphan. Orphans can and often do know their roots and past.


Agree 100% -- look at this...in plain terms

"X is Y"

X=Y (= defined as "always =") <- this is its PLAIN MEANING

"An orphan = someone who does not know their roots or past"

FALSE!
Last edited by Pisto3 on Fri May 21, 2010 6:14 pm, edited 2 times in total.

recaldo
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Re: GPA Addendum - Please Critique!

Postby recaldo » Fri May 21, 2010 6:12 pm

Rikkugrrl wrote:
kalvano wrote:
recaldo wrote:I did not give a definition of the word orphan. That is your mistake.



To say what something is is to define it.


Yes.

And even if you're not explicitly stating "According to Webster's dictionary, an orphan is..." you did say to be an orphan is to not know one's roots or past. Unless my example is flawed, I don't think that's right. That's why people have been saying you're not an orphan, because not knowing one's roots or past is not characteristic of an orphan. Orphans can and often do know their roots and past.


I did NOT say: "To be an orphan you must not know you're roots or past." I did not say "You are only an orphan if and only if you don't know you're roots or pasts." I said, to be an orphan is to not know your roots or pasts. To be a basketball player is to know how to dribble. To be unemployed is to be seeking work. Must all basketball players know how to dribble? What if a basketball player got hit in the head and doesn't know how to dribble yet is still registered with the league? Is he still a basketball player? The answer is yes. Do you have to be seeking work if you are unemployed? No, absolutely not. These are descriptive statements, not definitions.

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Kilpatrick
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Re: GPA Addendum - Please Critique!

Postby Kilpatrick » Fri May 21, 2010 6:13 pm

He's an orphan because he got raped by his aunt. God, don't you guys get it? You must not be going to T14 schools if you can't understand that.

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Rikkugrrl
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Re: GPA Addendum - Please Critique!

Postby Rikkugrrl » Fri May 21, 2010 6:14 pm

Yes or no, are there orphans who know their roots and past? If so, "to be an orphan is to not know one's roots or past" is a false statement.

Am I wrong?

EDIT: I guess another way to explain it would be "what is the difference between 'some orphans do not know their roots or past' and 'to be an orphan is to not know one's roots or past.'" The first one is correct. The second one isn't. Why? Because not all orphans do not know their roots or past.

I'm not sure how I can explain it better.
Last edited by Rikkugrrl on Fri May 21, 2010 6:19 pm, edited 2 times in total.

recaldo
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Re: GPA Addendum - Please Critique!

Postby recaldo » Fri May 21, 2010 6:14 pm

Pisto3 wrote:
Rikkugrrl wrote:
And even if you're not explicitly stating "According to Webster's dictionary, an orphan is..." you did say to be an orphan is to not know one's roots or past. Unless my example is flawed, I don't think that's right. That's why people have been saying you're not an orphan, because not knowing one's roots or past is not characteristic of an orphan. Orphans can and often do know their roots and past.


Agree 100% -- look at this...in plain terms

"X is Y"

X=Y (= defined as "always =")

An orphan = someone who does not know their roots or past

FALSE!


LOL. That is not how you would model that statement. It would be Set X(Y, Z, V)

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kalvano
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Re: GPA Addendum - Please Critique!

Postby kalvano » Fri May 21, 2010 6:15 pm

recaldo wrote:I did NOT say: "To be an orphan you must not know you're roots or past." I did not say "You are only an orphan if and only if you don't know you're roots or pasts." I said, to be an orphan is to not know your roots or pasts. To be a basketball player is to know how to dribble. To be unemployed is to be seeking work. Must all basketball players know how to dribble? What if a basketball player got hit in the head and doesn't know how to dribble yet is still registered with the league? Is he still a basketball player? The answer is yes. Do you have to be seeking work if you are unemployed? No, absolutely not. These are descriptive statements, not definitions.



You used to write for George W. Bush, didn't you?




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