Is it too cliche to suggest...

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
OmbreGracieuse
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Is it too cliche to suggest...

Postby OmbreGracieuse » Wed Apr 07, 2010 2:04 pm

I was just wondering, if one were to write an 'overcoming adversity paper' if it would be too cliche to end it on the idea that "the only thing holding me back is you" you being the academic acceptance committee. Does anyone do that? Does it ever work? Is it too bold, or too much of a cliche?

Thanks in advance! :)

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booboo
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Re: Is it too cliche to suggest...

Postby booboo » Wed Apr 07, 2010 2:05 pm

Seems like a muted insult.

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Spaceman Spiff
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Re: Is it too cliche to suggest...

Postby Spaceman Spiff » Wed Apr 07, 2010 2:07 pm

I've read statements that end that way, and it always sounds like the last line in a sales pitch. It's just a complete turn-off.

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legalease9
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Re: Is it too cliche to suggest...

Postby legalease9 » Wed Apr 07, 2010 2:08 pm

Way too bold. Any type of implication that if the school rejects you some bad thing will happen (in this case you being held back after having suffered) will be frowned upon. Plus the way you said it takes the form of an accusation that they are hurting you. The idea can't be saved. Delete it and replace it with something else.

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smov_operator
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Re: Is it too cliche to suggest...

Postby smov_operator » Wed Apr 07, 2010 2:09 pm

You can definitely do better than that.

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ArthurEdens
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Re: Is it too cliche to suggest...

Postby ArthurEdens » Wed Apr 07, 2010 2:12 pm

Come up with a better ending. That one is a major turnoff. The trick is to toot your own horn without sounding like a douche. Instead of writing that adcomms are holding you back, write about how admission to ____ school of law would enhance your personal and career trajectory. Make it sound like it is a good fit.

theantiscalia
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Re: Is it too cliche to suggest...

Postby theantiscalia » Wed Apr 07, 2010 2:13 pm

Although it is catchy and I like it better than most people on here, I personally wouldn't do it... too much risk for not enough reward...

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PopCopyManager
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Re: Is it too cliche to suggest...

Postby PopCopyManager » Wed Apr 07, 2010 2:13 pm

That sounds like a terrible idea... It would be very difficult to pull off, and is likely to sound corny.

OmbreGracieuse
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Re: Is it too cliche to suggest...

Postby OmbreGracieuse » Wed Apr 07, 2010 3:37 pm

I really couldn't help but wonder if anyone had tried it, and if so whether or not it had worked. I am going to take it as a don't even try. :)

I am still in the (very) initial stages of writing my PS, and am trying to figure out where to venture and not to venture. I want to be bold without being too bold and be different without being offensive. Does anyone know of anyone with REALLY good PS's that I can glance at? I am looking to be a little non-traditional, since my circumstances don't quite fit in the 'normal' realm of UG student life.

Thanks to everyone who responded, by the way! I appreciate the feed-back. :)

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D. H2Oman
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Re: Is it too cliche to suggest...

Postby D. H2Oman » Wed Apr 07, 2010 3:39 pm

I think it's a great idea.

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kswiss
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Re: Is it too cliche to suggest...

Postby kswiss » Wed Apr 07, 2010 3:40 pm

OmbreGracieuse wrote:I really couldn't help but wonder if anyone had tried it, and if so whether or not it had worked. I am going to take it as a don't even try. :)

I am still in the (very) initial stages of writing my PS, and am trying to figure out where to venture and not to venture. I want to be bold without being too bold and be different without being offensive. Does anyone know of anyone with REALLY good PS's that I can glance at? I am looking to be a little non-traditional, since my circumstances don't quite fit in the 'normal' realm of UG student life.

Thanks to everyone who responded, by the way! I appreciate the feed-back. :)


Don't do it. Everything I've heard from adcomms says that they hate the "my future is in your hands" stuff. Think of some future goal that you have, and how law school will help you achieve it, but don't put the balance of your life on the shoulders of the adcomms.

(But since h20man says go for it, I change my position.) to doggystyle

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kswiss
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Re: Is it too cliche to suggest...

Postby kswiss » Wed Apr 07, 2010 3:41 pm

BTW there is a personal statement section on TLS that has a bunch of full examples.





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