PS First Draft

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
Dave
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PS First Draft

Postby Dave » Wed Mar 31, 2010 7:36 pm

Hey guys, here is my first draft. I would appreciate any criticism you might have. I haven't read the sticky for writing personal statements but I'm reading that now, so this is my first draft. To answer the obvious question before, it centers around my indictment for computer fraud and going to jail (deferred adjudication, no conviction, early termination 2 1/25 years later). Thank you!

From Rags to Riches

As I’m sitting there in the holding cell of the Harris County Jail, I can’t help but wonder where it all went wrong. No, this was not my first time in a holding cell. Months earlier, I was in the same situation in the state of Florida on a charge based on both my carelessness, and negligence. My 2nd time in a holding cell was this same place 2 months after the Florida incident, for this particular case. However, this time it was all different. This time I was guilty as charged, and I admitted to it. As part of a plea agreement, I was to spend 45 days in the county jail. As I put on my orange jumpsuit after 18 hours, I knew this would be my home for the next month and a half. What had happened?
There is nothing strange or unusual about my life, circumstances, or socioeconomic status, that would excuse my behavior in committing a crime. I came to America in 1990 with my parents, and two weeks later my dad had a job. Both of my parents are well educated engineers and every year we moved up the ladder. I had everything I could ever want in my life; friends, family, material goods, etc. In terms of my psychological condition, the only thing I had growing up was a mild case of A.D.D which increased in severity every year. By the time I was in high school, I became antisocial and mildly bipolar. As a result, I spent more and more time on the computer and the life I was living on the internet became my real life. When I began doing questionable things with a computer, I was well aware that they were wrong, yet this did not dissuade me from continuing various activities because I thought I wouldn’t get caught. That belief was eventually proven wrong in the form of an indictment, and court proceedings for 6 months. I held back nothing as I told the prosecution everything I had done, and I took responsibility for those acts. Because of my continued honesty and potential, they decided to spare me and give me a lenient sentence. This really my family up and the worst day of my life was the day I would begin serving my sentence. My dad stayed home and drove me to the jail. As we said our goodbyes, I couldn’t think of a worse feeling. I remember the last thing my dad told me before I walked inside of the building, “learn everything you can about the system because you’re in a privileged position.” I decided to take his advice and use this as a positive learning experience.
From the very first full day I was in the system, I could sense something wrong. It was all around me, yet I couldn’t put my finger on it. It was like coming home to an awkward smell; you know it’s there but you can’t describe it. It was when I went to court some 25 days later for a review of my community service supervision, that I noticed it. I have always loved this country and as a result, I know I was naïve and ignorant about things I wasn’t involved in. Now I was in a position to look at the reality of one of those things. As I was sitting on the cold floor and listening to defendants talking to their lawyers behind the glass door, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I could immediately tell who the high priced lawyers were, and who the public defenders were, not by charisma or style, but by attitude. Things that I considered myths turned out to be more true than I could imagine. For those that say you can’t buy a verdict, imagine being the guy on the other side of that window as a spectator. I was flabbergasted with the temerity and carelessness of the public defenders’ handling of the defendants’ cases, just so they could move the process along and earn their wages for that particular case, only to demonstrate the same ineptitude in the next case. Then I watched the defendants with the paid lawyers and the beauty of their tactics and overall attitude. I could tell how much smarter they were than the prosecutors in that court room, and that their clients would be going home soon on some technicality. Then and there, it became as clear as day, yet I couldn’t bring myself to say it. Our Judicial System was broken. And at that precise moment, I had the urge to be part of it, to help try and fix it to the best of my abilities. I also knew that if I was to have a chance at being part of this process, I would have to straighten my life out and be nearly perfect from this point on.
From that momentous day to the minute I was released, I watched all of my surroundings. I watched the treatment of the inmates, and saw many injustices, while the actions were justified in other situations. I watched the guards tease inmates without justification. I made a vow that when I became a lawyer, I would be fully aware of what goes on behind those walls, and I would have the power to either make changes, or be involved with someone that can . When I got out of jail, I made it my biggest priority to go to court as much as I could. I received the trial schedule from my felony court, and attended as many trials as I could. I took notes during the trials. I studied case law and historical constitutional law religiously. I somehow knew this was something that I not only wanted to do, but I was born to do. I taught myself the art of debate and logic, as those things eluded me throughout my entire life. The only negative aspect of my obsession came in the form of postponing my undergraduate studies to further my knowledge of the law. Logically, I knew I would have to complete undergraduate college to be able to attend law school. However, I was unable to attempt both, and so my undergraduate career became an extended undergraduate career.
My life completely changed on that special day where I had my epiphany. I bettered myself in many aspects and I became a different person. My self awareness increased as well as my intelligence. I’ve spent years dedicated to personal and character development so that one day I could stand in front of a judge, and defend my client with all the zeal and vigor a defense attorney should possess.

shoop
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Re: PS First Draft

Postby shoop » Thu Apr 01, 2010 2:47 pm

Looked pretty bad after the first couple sentences so I skimmed through, saw the word "epiphany" and decided to stop. This is horrible.

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JTX
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Re: PS First Draft

Postby JTX » Thu Apr 01, 2010 2:51 pm

auto admit.

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D. H2Oman
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Re: PS First Draft

Postby D. H2Oman » Thu Apr 01, 2010 2:54 pm

Come on guys, don't troll the PS forum, he worked hard on this.

In all seriousness it's really good man, send as is.

Dave
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Re: PS First Draft

Postby Dave » Thu Apr 01, 2010 2:55 pm

That's why it was a "first draft". As in "30 minutes during the Simpsons".

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TTTennis
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Re: PS First Draft

Postby TTTennis » Thu Apr 01, 2010 2:57 pm

D. H2Oman wrote:Come on guys, don't troll the PS forum, he worked hard on this.

In all seriousness it's really good man, send as is.


hahahaha, you are such an ass.

shoop
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Re: PS First Draft

Postby shoop » Thu Apr 01, 2010 3:01 pm

Dave wrote:That's why it was a "first draft". As in "30 minutes during the Simpsons".


No amount of redrafting is going to change the fact that you're taking a HORRIBLE topic that absolutely works against you and should only be mentioned in a very brief and factual way in an addendum, adding some excuses about what is probably a sketchy undergrad record (so distracted by your fascination with courts that your UG got "extended?" Really?), and filling space with your trite little story about "FOB-to-riches-to-Robin-Hood." Better hope any adcomm that reads this has never done work as a government lawyer... they might not appreciate your insinuation that prosecuting is only for people too dumb to be high-end private defense attorneys.

Also.. the enter key. It is your friend.
Last edited by shoop on Thu Apr 01, 2010 3:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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JTX
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Re: PS First Draft

Postby JTX » Thu Apr 01, 2010 3:02 pm

x
Last edited by JTX on Wed Jun 02, 2010 1:37 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Dave
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Re: PS First Draft

Postby Dave » Thu Apr 01, 2010 3:03 pm

shoop wrote:
Dave wrote:That's why it was a "first draft". As in "30 minutes during the Simpsons".


No amount of redrafting is going to change the fact that you're taking a HORRIBLE topic that absolutely works against you and should only be mentioned in a very brief and factual way in an addendum, adding some excuses about what is probably a sketchy undergrad record (so distracted by your fascination with courts that your UG got "extended?" Really?), and filling space with your trite little story about "FOB-to-riches-to-Robin-Hood."

Also.. the enter key. It is your friend.


That's why I came to you guys. I've never had any problems writing but when it comes to a Law School P.S, I can't seem to come up with anything remotely interesting. I'm just trying to get ideas as to what I should be writing about as I don't even know where to begin.. The last thing I want is for it to be some pseudo intellectual nonsense full of quirky analogies and metaphors.

Also yes, my UG grades blew, my LSAT was good.

Dave
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Re: PS First Draft

Postby Dave » Thu Apr 01, 2010 3:04 pm

jtxcounitah wrote:
TTTennis wrote:
D. H2Oman wrote:Come on guys, don't troll the PS forum, he worked hard on this.

In all seriousness it's really good man, send as is.


hahahaha, you are such an ass.


lulz h20_man delivers as always.

This really my family up

I watched the treatment of the inmates, and saw many injustices, while the actions were justified in other situations.

but really, I eat this ephiphany shit up. I'm sure adcomms do too.


Shows how much attention I paid, I didn't even realized I use the word "epiphany" in the paper.

Wooster33
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Re: PS First Draft

Postby Wooster33 » Thu Apr 01, 2010 3:11 pm

That's why I came to you guys. I've never had any problems writing but when it comes to a lawl skool P.S, I can't seem to come up with anything remotely interesting. I'm just trying to get ideas as to what I should be writing about as I don't even know where to begin.. The last thing I want is for it to be some pseudo intellectual nonsense full of quirky analogies and metaphors.


You will have to deal with the crime issue in an addendum but I'd keep it there. Don't try to spin it as a positive. Take responsiblity, don't mention the ADD thing in relation to your crime (it comes off as a lame ass excuse while pretending to not make excuses).

More than anything you don't want the PS to hurt your chances. I think this one does. Scrap it.

Dave
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Re: PS First Draft

Postby Dave » Thu Apr 01, 2010 3:16 pm

Wooster33 wrote:
That's why I came to you guys. I've never had any problems writing but when it comes to a lawl skool P.S, I can't seem to come up with anything remotely interesting. I'm just trying to get ideas as to what I should be writing about as I don't even know where to begin.. The last thing I want is for it to be some pseudo intellectual nonsense full of quirky analogies and metaphors.


You will have to deal with the crime issue in an addendum but I'd keep it there. Don't try to spin it as a positive. Take responsiblity, don't mention the ADD thing in relation to your crime (it comes off as a lame ass excuse while pretending to not make excuses).

More than anything you don't want the PS to hurt your chances. I think this one does. Scrap it.

Well, honestly I didn't know where I would add the crime thing. I would think I should make a gpa addendum, and then another one stating the details of my crime with documents backing it up. I hope that's correct. As far as the personal statement, I've read a lot of yours and I really don't know where to go. I'm not saying they were bad but I would have to be snorting cocaine to write something like some of those statements (compliment for creativity). My writings are usually free lance and with a mixture of emotions and comical relief. None of this would be valid in a personal statement. I haven't had any hard ships. I've had OCD, Depression, bipolar disorder, and A.D.D (most of which were fixed with biofeedback), but I can't state that in a personal statement because to me it's an excuse for having bad grades and making bad choices (although the neurologist says it's not).

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JTX
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Re: PS First Draft

Postby JTX » Thu Apr 01, 2010 3:17 pm

x
Last edited by JTX on Wed Jun 02, 2010 1:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

shoop
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Re: PS First Draft

Postby shoop » Thu Apr 01, 2010 3:29 pm

Dave wrote:My writings are usually free lance and with a mixture of emotions and comical relief. None of this would be valid in a personal statement.


Or in a law school exam. Or in a legal brief. Keep that in mind... the writing you'll do in law school and as a lawyer will be much harder than a personal statement, where the only requirement is to make yourself sound mature, intelligent, and interesting and not shoot yourself in the foot.

Dave
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Re: PS First Draft

Postby Dave » Thu Apr 01, 2010 3:50 pm


plus one.

dave, trolling and being a jerk aside, there really has to be a better topic than getting thrown in the slamma.
its like asking a girl out with "my last 2 GFs dumped me for cheating. but it really changed me. epiphany power. you wanna go to dinner sometime?"

edit: but also, WTF do i know? i've not been accepted anywhere... maybe my PS shoulda been about something bad with an epiphany thrown in. good luck.

No you're absolutely correct. This was the consensus that I was aware of. However, I thought you are supposed to write about overcoming obstacles in your life and becoming a better person as a result of it, so at the time (during a commercial), I thought there couldn't be anything better than this, especially since I doubt there is anybody else in my situation. Also, I have no idea what to write about.

Or in a lawl skool exam. Or in a legal brief. Keep that in mind... the writing you'll do in lawl skool and as a lawyer will be much harder than a personal statement, where the only requirement is to make yourself sound mature, intelligent, and interesting and not shoot yourself in the foot.

Surprisingly, I know how to write briefs and have a few times(another thing I learned), and they're not as hard as this PS. With a brief, you know what you're writing about. With a PS, it's a crapshoot.

Also just for the record, could you guys tell me if it's ok to write an addendum for my grades and then a separate one as an explanation of my criminal history?

dwoof
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Re: PS First Draft

Postby dwoof » Thu Apr 01, 2010 4:00 pm

Haha! April fools :) You had me ready to write a serious response, til I got to "lawl skool." Well, you got me.

Dave
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Re: PS First Draft

Postby Dave » Thu Apr 01, 2010 4:01 pm

I'm looking for all the constructive criticism I can get.

shoop
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Re: PS First Draft

Postby shoop » Thu Apr 01, 2010 4:27 pm

dwoof wrote:Haha! April fools :) You had me ready to write a serious response, til I got to "lawl skool." Well, you got me.


Actually, "lawl skool" is an April Fool's day joke T L S is playing on everyone. Certain keywords are transformed into other words when you click "submit."

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kaydish21
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Re: PS First Draft

Postby kaydish21 » Thu Apr 01, 2010 4:50 pm

Well, I will say that the writing itself is fine. The topic is a gamble. It could look great but you absolutely need to take out the line about looking so much smarter than the prosecution, it makes you sound unbearably pompous. I think the topic will hurt you with some schools, but other schools might respect how the experience has changed you.

You certainly can write more than 1 addendum and must write one for both this account as well as grades. The whole part about this being the cause of your extended undergraduate career sounds like a cheap cover up and if that really is the case then you need to keep it consistent in your explanation addendum but I would take it out of the PS.

You don't have a lot to show for justifying this epiphany, it just made you go to law school? Is there any type of physical work or obstacle you have overcome that might be coupled with this story to add weight.

Hope it helps. Also it may have been a wise move to have reread this before posting to a bunch of people online as it contains multiple blatant grammar and word errors.

Dave
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Re: PS First Draft

Postby Dave » Thu Apr 01, 2010 4:55 pm

kaydish21 wrote:Well, I will say that the writing itself is fine. The topic is a gamble. It could look great but you absolutely need to take out the line about looking so much smarter than the prosecution, it makes you sound unbearably pompous. I think the topic will hurt you with some schools, but other schools might respect how the experience has changed you.

You certainly can write more than 1 addendum and must write one for both this account as well as grades. The whole part about this being the cause of your extended undergraduate career sounds like a cheap cover up and if that really is the case then you need to keep it consistent in your explanation addendum but I would take it out of the PS.

You don't have a lot to show for justifying this epiphany, it just made you go to lawl skool? Is there any type of physical work or obstacle you have overcome that might be coupled with this story to add weight.

Hope it helps. Also it may have been a wise move to have reread this before posting to a bunch of people online as it contains multiple blatant grammar and word errors.


To answer your objection to the grammar, I stated that I wrote it during a Simpsons episode and that will be amended. Physical work or obstacle? That's my point, my only obstacles were jail, and mental issues that have since been worked out. I could possibly focus on those? As far as physical work, I work at a law firm, if that's what you mean. The epiphany thing sounds retarded now that I read it. It's just that I have never been more fascinated with anything in my life. Every one of you have "epiphanies" that make you want to go to law school. You don't just wake up one morning and say "I'm going to law school." And in terms of showings, you're right. My grades did improve slowly as I started that neurofeedback and my LSAT was impressive considering my inabilities and drawbacks.

As far as using law as a cover up for being in undergrad forever, it's partly true. I didn't want to include the factual basis of my head injury and my inability to perform in school. I really did forego classes and studying to attend trials and read law books and all that..

shoop
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Re: PS First Draft

Postby shoop » Thu Apr 01, 2010 6:01 pm

Dave wrote:Every one of you have "epiphanies" that make you want to go to lawl skool. You don't just wake up one morning and say "I'm going to lawl skool."


Actually, randomly waking up one day and saying "I'm going to go to law school" is closer to the definition of "epiphany" than is the gradual process by which many people decide to pursue legal studies.

Main Entry: epiph·a·ny
Pronunciation: \i-ˈpi-fə-nē\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural epiph·a·nies
Etymology: Middle English epiphanie, from Anglo-French, from Late Latin epiphania, from Late Greek, plural, probably alteration of Greek epiphaneia appearance, manifestation, from epiphainein to manifest, from epi- + phainein to show — more at fancy
Date: 14th century

1 capitalized : January 6 observed as a church festival in commemoration of the coming of the Magi as the first manifestation of Christ to the Gentiles or in the Eastern Church in commemoration of the baptism of Christ
2 : an appearance or manifestation especially of a divine being
3 a (1) : a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something (2) : an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking (3) : an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure b : a revealing scene or moment

Dave
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Re: PS First Draft

Postby Dave » Thu Apr 01, 2010 6:08 pm

Yea I am familiar with the definition and that's what most pe
rsonal statements feel like. My situation, at least in my mind, was a certain progression that ended with me choosing this specific career path. Perhaps I should have worded it differently if I decided to use this.

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JustDude
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Re: PS First Draft

Postby JustDude » Fri Apr 02, 2010 3:29 am

You gotta be a biggest douche of the week. You disgusting beyond imagination. You, an ass, decided to write some nasty drivel. admittelly while watchinga 30 minutes episode of Simpsons, and expect us, the reader to provide a meaningfull feedback. Actually spent some time reading this piece of s*** and even more on commenting this. What audacity my dear Dave the douche.
From Rags to Riches

Rags to riches??? dude.. Sorrry, douche (thats how I wll adress your pathetic self frpm now on), all your PS shows story "from riches to rags". You started as a son of a well off immigrnts who found job within 2 weeks of landing to US and you degenerated into a convict. .... More like from Middle class to ghetto.

As I’m sitting there in the holding cell of the Harris County Jail, I can’t help but wonder where it all went wrong.

Still sitting??? Are you sure its a correct tense?
No, this was not my first time in a holding cell. Months earlier, I was in the same situation in the state of Florida on a charge based on both my carelessness, and negligence.

Ou Yeah, it wasnt your fault.
My 2nd time in a holding cell was this same place 2 months after the Florida incident, for this particular case. However, this time it was all different. This time I was guilty as charged, and I admitted to it. As part of a plea agreement, I was to spend 45 days in the county jail. As I put on my orange jumpsuit after 18 hours, I knew this would be my home for the next month and a half. What had happened?

What had happened??? Well, you were a conceited douche. And sadly still are...
There is nothing strange or unusual about my life, circumstances, or socioeconomic status, that would excuse my behavior in committing a crime.

So where "from rags" comes from?
I came to America in 1990 with my parents,

Must be from Iran
and two weeks later my dad had a job. Both of my parents are well educated engineers and every year we moved up the ladder. I had everything I could ever want in my life; friends, family, material goods, etc. In terms of my psychological condition, the only thing I had growing up was a mild case of A.D.D which increased in severity every year.

Blame all you crimes and misdeeds on ADD.

By the time I was in high school, I became antisocial and mildly bipolar.
You were not getting laid and was upset about it.


As a result, I spent more and more time on the computer and the life I was living on the internet became my real life.

Not getting laid indeed.
When I began doing questionable things with a computer, I was well aware that they were wrong, yet this did not dissuade me from continuing various activities because I thought I wouldn’t get caught.

What was that i am curious. Could it be child porn??? Elaborate please douche.
That belief was eventually proven wrong in the form of an indictment, and court proceedings for 6 months. I held back nothing as I told the prosecution everything I had done, and I took responsibility for those acts. Because of my continued honesty and potential,

Potential??? You were scared shitless and confessed, Probably pooped your pants. Judge took pity on you. Are you seriously trying to convice adcomm by saying that your judge thought you had potential??? Gotta be most pathetic thing I have seen this week.
they decided to spare me and give me a lenient sentence. This really my family up and the worst day of my life was the day I would begin serving my sentence. My dad stayed home and drove me to the jail. As we said our goodbyes, I couldn’t think of a worse feeling.

I can tell you pretty boy of a worse feeling. When you drop a piece of soap in a shower and a big black fella reminds you that its not good to waste soap like that. I bet it was a worse feeling for you. Or was it????????????????
I remember the last thing my dad told me before I walked inside of the building, “learn everything you can about the system because you’re in a privileged position.” I decided to take his advice and use this as a positive learning experience.

WTF was that??? You were preparing to future sentences??? >
From the very first full day I was in the system, I could sense something wrong.

Pooping started being painful?
It was all around me, yet I couldn’t put my finger on it. It was like coming home to an awkward smell; you know it’s there but you can’t describe it. It was when I went to court some 25 days later for a review of my community service supervision, that I noticed it. I have always loved this country and as a result, I know I was naïve and ignorant about things I wasn’t involved in. Now I was in a position to look at the reality of one of those things. As I was sitting on the cold floor and listening to defendants talking to their lawyers behind the glass door, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I could immediately tell who the high priced lawyers were, and who the public defenders were, not by charisma or style, but by attitude. Things that I considered myths turned out to be more true than I could imagine. For those that say you can’t buy a verdict, imagine being the guy on the other side of that window as a spectator. I was flabbergasted with the temerity and carelessness of the public defenders’ handling of the defendants’ cases, just so they could move the process along and earn their wages for that particular case, only to demonstrate the same ineptitude in the next case. Then I watched the defendants with the paid lawyers and the beauty of their tactics and overall attitude. I could tell how much smarter they were than the prosecutors in that court room, and that their clients would be going home soon on some technicality. Then and there, it became as clear as day, yet I couldn’t bring myself to say it. Our Judicial System was broken. And at that precise moment, I had the urge to be part of it, to help try and fix it to the best of my abilities. I also knew that if I was to have a chance at being part of this process, I would have to straighten my life out and be nearly perfect from this point on.

Yep, In application to Law School, School that sometimes prides itself of the number and quality of students that became public defenders, a convict and sex offender criticises them. Oooops, very funny.
From that momentous day to the minute I was released, I watched all of my surroundings. I watched the treatment of the inmates, and saw many injustices, while the actions were justified in other situations. I watched the guards tease inmates without justification.

Tease without justification you say??? Just say you are naive as a puppy
I made a vow that when I became a lawyer, I would be fully aware of what goes on behind those walls, and I would have the power to either make changes, or be involved with someone that can . When I got out of jail, I made it my biggest priority to go to court as much as I could. I received the trial schedule from my felony court, and attended as many trials as I could. I took notes during the trials. I studied case law and historical constitutional law religiously.

No one cares. Law school students will learn it in school
I somehow knew this was something that I not only wanted to do, but I was born to do. I taught myself the art of debate and logic, as those things eluded me throughout my entire life. The only negative aspect of my obsession came in the form of postponing my undergraduate studies to further my knowledge of the law. Logically, I knew I would have to complete undergraduate college to be able to attend lawl skool. However, I was unable to attempt both, and so my undergraduate career became an extended undergraduate career
.

What a pathetic excuse for lackluster UG performance. Yep, Law distracted you.


My life completely changed on that special day where I had my epiphany. I bettered myself in many aspects and I became a different person. My self awareness increased as well as my intelligence. I’ve spent years dedicated to personal and character development so that one day I could stand in front of a judge, and defend my client with all the zeal and vigor a defense attorney should possess.


F*** you.


Just to make sure we both understand. I critisized your PS not to help you, but to make fun of you, for quality entartainment of fellow readers. Hopefully I hurt you a little bit as well, dear douche

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JTX
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Re: PS First Draft

Postby JTX » Fri Apr 02, 2010 9:25 am

^^ the best part of waking up is no longer folgers coffee :lol: :lol: :lol:

Dave
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Re: PS First Draft

Postby Dave » Fri Apr 02, 2010 11:19 am

JustDude wrote:You gotta be a biggest douche of the week. You disgusting beyond imagination. You, an ass, decided to write some nasty drivel. admittelly while watchinga 30 minutes episode of Simpsons, and expect us, the reader to provide a meaningfull feedback. Actually spent some time reading this piece of s*** and even more on commenting this. What audacity my dear Dave the douche.
From Rags to Riches

Rags to riches??? dude.. Sorrry, douche (thats how I wll adress your pathetic self frpm now on), all your PS shows story "from riches to rags". You started as a son of a well off immigrnts who found job within 2 weeks of landing to US and you degenerated into a convict. .... More like from Middle class to ghetto.

As I’m sitting there in the holding cell of the Harris County Jail, I can’t help but wonder where it all went wrong.

Still sitting??? Are you sure its a correct tense?
No, this was not my first time in a holding cell. Months earlier, I was in the same situation in the state of Florida on a charge based on both my carelessness, and negligence.

Ou Yeah, it wasnt your fault.
My 2nd time in a holding cell was this same place 2 months after the Florida incident, for this particular case. However, this time it was all different. This time I was guilty as charged, and I admitted to it. As part of a plea agreement, I was to spend 45 days in the county jail. As I put on my orange jumpsuit after 18 hours, I knew this would be my home for the next month and a half. What had happened?

What had happened??? Well, you were a conceited douche. And sadly still are...
There is nothing strange or unusual about my life, circumstances, or socioeconomic status, that would excuse my behavior in committing a crime.

So where "from rags" comes from?
I came to America in 1990 with my parents,

Must be from Iran
and two weeks later my dad had a job. Both of my parents are well educated engineers and every year we moved up the ladder. I had everything I could ever want in my life; friends, family, material goods, etc. In terms of my psychological condition, the only thing I had growing up was a mild case of A.D.D which increased in severity every year.

Blame all you crimes and misdeeds on ADD.

By the time I was in high school, I became antisocial and mildly bipolar.
You were not getting laid and was upset about it.


As a result, I spent more and more time on the computer and the life I was living on the internet became my real life.

Not getting laid indeed.
When I began doing questionable things with a computer, I was well aware that they were wrong, yet this did not dissuade me from continuing various activities because I thought I wouldn’t get caught.

What was that i am curious. Could it be child porn??? Elaborate please douche.
That belief was eventually proven wrong in the form of an indictment, and court proceedings for 6 months. I held back nothing as I told the prosecution everything I had done, and I took responsibility for those acts. Because of my continued honesty and potential,

Potential??? You were scared shitless and confessed, Probably pooped your pants. Judge took pity on you. Are you seriously trying to convice adcomm by saying that your judge thought you had potential??? Gotta be most pathetic thing I have seen this week.
they decided to spare me and give me a lenient sentence. This really my family up and the worst day of my life was the day I would begin serving my sentence. My dad stayed home and drove me to the jail. As we said our goodbyes, I couldn’t think of a worse feeling.

I can tell you pretty boy of a worse feeling. When you drop a piece of soap in a shower and a big black fella reminds you that its not good to waste soap like that. I bet it was a worse feeling for you. Or was it????????????????
I remember the last thing my dad told me before I walked inside of the building, “learn everything you can about the system because you’re in a privileged position.” I decided to take his advice and use this as a positive learning experience.

WTF was that??? You were preparing to future sentences??? >
From the very first full day I was in the system, I could sense something wrong.

Pooping started being painful?
It was all around me, yet I couldn’t put my finger on it. It was like coming home to an awkward smell; you know it’s there but you can’t describe it. It was when I went to court some 25 days later for a review of my community service supervision, that I noticed it. I have always loved this country and as a result, I know I was naïve and ignorant about things I wasn’t involved in. Now I was in a position to look at the reality of one of those things. As I was sitting on the cold floor and listening to defendants talking to their lawyers behind the glass door, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I could immediately tell who the high priced lawyers were, and who the public defenders were, not by charisma or style, but by attitude. Things that I considered myths turned out to be more true than I could imagine. For those that say you can’t buy a verdict, imagine being the guy on the other side of that window as a spectator. I was flabbergasted with the temerity and carelessness of the public defenders’ handling of the defendants’ cases, just so they could move the process along and earn their wages for that particular case, only to demonstrate the same ineptitude in the next case. Then I watched the defendants with the paid lawyers and the beauty of their tactics and overall attitude. I could tell how much smarter they were than the prosecutors in that court room, and that their clients would be going home soon on some technicality. Then and there, it became as clear as day, yet I couldn’t bring myself to say it. Our Judicial System was broken. And at that precise moment, I had the urge to be part of it, to help try and fix it to the best of my abilities. I also knew that if I was to have a chance at being part of this process, I would have to straighten my life out and be nearly perfect from this point on.

Yep, In application to Law School, School that sometimes prides itself of the number and quality of students that became public defenders, a convict and sex offender criticises them. Oooops, very funny.
From that momentous day to the minute I was released, I watched all of my surroundings. I watched the treatment of the inmates, and saw many injustices, while the actions were justified in other situations. I watched the guards tease inmates without justification.

Tease without justification you say??? Just say you are naive as a puppy
I made a vow that when I became a lawyer, I would be fully aware of what goes on behind those walls, and I would have the power to either make changes, or be involved with someone that can . When I got out of jail, I made it my biggest priority to go to court as much as I could. I received the trial schedule from my felony court, and attended as many trials as I could. I took notes during the trials. I studied case law and historical constitutional law religiously.

No one cares. Law school students will learn it in school
I somehow knew this was something that I not only wanted to do, but I was born to do. I taught myself the art of debate and logic, as those things eluded me throughout my entire life. The only negative aspect of my obsession came in the form of postponing my undergraduate studies to further my knowledge of the law. Logically, I knew I would have to complete undergraduate college to be able to attend lawl skool. However, I was unable to attempt both, and so my undergraduate career became an extended undergraduate career
.

What a pathetic excuse for lackluster UG performance. Yep, Law distracted you.


My life completely changed on that special day where I had my epiphany. I bettered myself in many aspects and I became a different person. My self awareness increased as well as my intelligence. I’ve spent years dedicated to personal and character development so that one day I could stand in front of a judge, and defend my client with all the zeal and vigor a defense attorney should possess.


F*** you.


Just to make sure we both understand. I critisized your PS not to help you, but to make fun of you, for quality entartainment of fellow readers. Hopefully I hurt you a little bit as well, dear douche



Let me know when you're done embarrassing yourself:) Btw I'd learn how to spell so I don't sound like a bumbling buffoon yelling at someone incoherently, through text.

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