Opinions on my unique P/S

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jdhopeful11
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Opinions on my unique P/S

Postby jdhopeful11 » Wed Feb 17, 2010 1:20 pm

I wrote my P/S on a potentially risky topic. The flow goes a little like this: When I was 17 years old I started up an online hookah company, and eventually branched out to many different ecommerce outlets (ie Yahoo!, eBay, Amazon, and my own website). I was handling all of the work (shipping, customer service, billing, etc) while going to college full time (T65). After two and a half years of doing business, I decided to create my own line of hookah molasses, which I just mixed ingredients from a company's molasses and marketed as my own. Eventually the parent company found out what I was doing and threatened to file a trademark infringement lawsuit on myself if I didn't stop. I was 19 years old at the time, and my business was flourishing in the online world. I did not pursue a course of action contrary to the company's demands, for fear that challenging them would have negative implications on my future. The experience did, however, spark an interest in intellectual property law, and ever since that interest emerged from that altercation with the molasses company, I have taken steps to make myself the best possible law school candidate. I closed down my hookah company and attained two internships, one with an attorney general's office.

That's the gist of it, what does everybody think??

miamiman
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Re: Opinions on my unique P/S

Postby miamiman » Wed Feb 17, 2010 1:24 pm

zzzzzz

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jdhopeful11
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Re: Opinions on my unique P/S

Postby jdhopeful11 » Wed Feb 17, 2010 1:25 pm

miamiman wrote:zzzzzz



??????????????????

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sternc
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Re: Opinions on my unique P/S

Postby sternc » Wed Feb 17, 2010 1:26 pm

I think the above poster is saying that it sounds so boring it an adcom will likely fall asleep reading it. Honestly, Im not sure if he is right. All depends on the writing.

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jdhopeful11
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Re: Opinions on my unique P/S

Postby jdhopeful11 » Wed Feb 17, 2010 1:30 pm

sternc wrote:I think the above poster is saying that it sounds so boring it an adcom will likely fall asleep reading it. Honestly, Im not sure if he is right. All depends on the writing.



i see. well my writing style is interesting, i just wanted to summarize the content of the p/s in this post. this post has nothing to do with whether the p/s is boring or not, the topic is unique so i know that no adcom will fall asleep to it. my question pertains to the story of my p/s, since its not your typical p/s

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sternc
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Re: Opinions on my unique P/S

Postby sternc » Wed Feb 17, 2010 1:34 pm

Unless you post it, no one will know what to say or how to respond. With that said, it sounds like a unique topic, though most people are capable of coming up with unique topic I'd imagine.

cavebat2000
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Re: Opinions on my unique P/S

Postby cavebat2000 » Wed Feb 17, 2010 4:21 pm

andyman wrote:I wrote my P/S on a potentially risky topic. The flow goes a little like this: When I was 17 years old I started up an online hookah company, and eventually branched out to many different ecommerce outlets (ie Yahoo!, eBay, Amazon, and my own website). I was handling all of the work (shipping, customer service, billing, etc) while going to college full time (T65). After two and a half years of doing business, I decided to create my own line of hookah molasses, which I just mixed ingredients from a company's molasses and marketed as my own. Eventually the parent company found out what I was doing and threatened to file a trademark infringement lawsuit on myself if I didn't stop. I was 19 years old at the time, and my business was flourishing in the online world. I did not pursue a course of action contrary to the company's demands, for fear that challenging them would have negative implications on my future. The experience did, however, spark an interest in intellectual property law, and ever since that interest emerged from that altercation with the molasses company, I have taken steps to make myself the best possible law school candidate. I closed down my hookah company and attained two internships, one with an attorney general's office.

That's the gist of it, what does everybody think??



You'll probably need to spice it up a bit and make it into a nice narrative with a strong connection to law, but I think it would be great.

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jdhopeful11
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Re: Opinions on my unique P/S

Postby jdhopeful11 » Wed Feb 17, 2010 5:37 pm

cavebat2000 wrote:
andyman wrote:I wrote my P/S on a potentially risky topic. The flow goes a little like this: When I was 17 years old I started up an online hookah company, and eventually branched out to many different ecommerce outlets (ie Yahoo!, eBay, Amazon, and my own website). I was handling all of the work (shipping, customer service, billing, etc) while going to college full time (T65). After two and a half years of doing business, I decided to create my own line of hookah molasses, which I just mixed ingredients from a company's molasses and marketed as my own. Eventually the parent company found out what I was doing and threatened to file a trademark infringement lawsuit on myself if I didn't stop. I was 19 years old at the time, and my business was flourishing in the online world. I did not pursue a course of action contrary to the company's demands, for fear that challenging them would have negative implications on my future. The experience did, however, spark an interest in intellectual property law, and ever since that interest emerged from that altercation with the molasses company, I have taken steps to make myself the best possible law school candidate. I closed down my hookah company and attained two internships, one with an attorney general's office.

That's the gist of it, what does everybody think??



You'll probably need to spice it up a bit and make it into a nice narrative with a strong connection to law, but I think it would be great.


Thanks! I think I had a pretty good narrative, but my weakness is probably the connection into law. Do you mind reading my P/S for me and giving it a determination? I have already submitted it, but my anxiety is getting the best of me.

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JustDude
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Re: Opinions on my unique P/S

Postby JustDude » Thu Feb 18, 2010 2:09 am

andyman wrote:
Thanks! I think I had a pretty good narrative, but my weakness is probably the connection into law. Do you mind reading my P/S for me and giving it a determination? I have already submitted it, but my anxiety is getting the best of me.


Eeeeeeeeeeehhhh Relax??? Whats the point now?? Its gone.. Aand most likely, its fine..

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EdmundBurke23
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Re: Opinions on my unique P/S

Postby EdmundBurke23 » Thu Feb 18, 2010 2:22 am

andyman wrote:
cavebat2000 wrote:
andyman wrote:I wrote my P/S on a potentially risky topic. The flow goes a little like this: When I was 17 years old I started up an online hookah company, and eventually branched out to many different ecommerce outlets (ie Yahoo!, eBay, Amazon, and my own website). I was handling all of the work (shipping, customer service, billing, etc) while going to college full time (T65). After two and a half years of doing business, I decided to create my own line of hookah molasses, which I just mixed ingredients from a company's molasses and marketed as my own. Eventually the parent company found out what I was doing and threatened to file a trademark infringement lawsuit on myself if I didn't stop. I was 19 years old at the time, and my business was flourishing in the online world. I did not pursue a course of action contrary to the company's demands, for fear that challenging them would have negative implications on my future. The experience did, however, spark an interest in intellectual property law, and ever since that interest emerged from that altercation with the molasses company, I have taken steps to make myself the best possible law school candidate. I closed down my hookah company and attained two internships, one with an attorney general's office.

That's the gist of it, what does everybody think??



You'll probably need to spice it up a bit and make it into a nice narrative with a strong connection to law, but I think it would be great.


Thanks! I think I had a pretty good narrative, but my weakness is probably the connection into law. Do you mind reading my P/S for me and giving it a determination? I have already submitted it, but my anxiety is getting the best of me.


Gotta be honest: It's pretty interesting... just spice it up a bit:D

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jdhopeful11
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Re: Opinions on my unique P/S

Postby jdhopeful11 » Fri Feb 19, 2010 12:34 pm

EdmundBurke23 wrote:
andyman wrote:
cavebat2000 wrote:
andyman wrote:I wrote my P/S on a potentially risky topic. The flow goes a little like this: When I was 17 years old I started up an online hookah company, and eventually branched out to many different ecommerce outlets (ie Yahoo!, eBay, Amazon, and my own website). I was handling all of the work (shipping, customer service, billing, etc) while going to college full time (T65). After two and a half years of doing business, I decided to create my own line of hookah molasses, which I just mixed ingredients from a company's molasses and marketed as my own. Eventually the parent company found out what I was doing and threatened to file a trademark infringement lawsuit on myself if I didn't stop. I was 19 years old at the time, and my business was flourishing in the online world. I did not pursue a course of action contrary to the company's demands, for fear that challenging them would have negative implications on my future. The experience did, however, spark an interest in intellectual property law, and ever since that interest emerged from that altercation with the molasses company, I have taken steps to make myself the best possible law school candidate. I closed down my hookah company and attained two internships, one with an attorney general's office.

That's the gist of it, what does everybody think??



You'll probably need to spice it up a bit and make it into a nice narrative with a strong connection to law, but I think it would be great.


Thanks! I think I had a pretty good narrative, but my weakness is probably the connection into law. Do you mind reading my P/S for me and giving it a determination? I have already submitted it, but my anxiety is getting the best of me.


Gotta be honest: It's pretty interesting... just spice it up a bit:D



Thanks! It has a bunch of twists in it so it's def spicy :mrgreen:




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