How Risky is Prose?

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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Xnegd
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How Risky is Prose?

Postby Xnegd » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:34 pm

So how stupid exactly would it be to write a poem as my Personal Statement? I'm thinking of using it (or something like it) for the T15 schools I apply to where my stats will be on the low end compared to what they typically want.
Last edited by Xnegd on Fri Feb 12, 2010 5:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Zapatero
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Re: How Risky is Prose?

Postby Zapatero » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:35 pm

This isn't prose.

Edit: Also, I wouldn't use this. It's pretty ridiculous.
Last edited by Zapatero on Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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fl0w
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Re: How Risky is Prose?

Postby fl0w » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:37 pm

ccs1702 wrote:This isn't prose.


also, don't do that. unless you are applying to all of the same schools as me. Then, by all means, do exactly that.

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jks289
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Re: How Risky is Prose?

Postby jks289 » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:38 pm

If you have a 4.0 and a 180 or pretty close to it, maybe you could get away with it. Anything less and I'd say you were at a real risk of adcoms rolling their eyes and sticking you in the no pile.

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Na_Swatch
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Re: How Risky is Prose?

Postby Na_Swatch » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:38 pm

I don't know which is worse, if this was written in seriousness or was written as a flame

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kalvano
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Re: How Risky is Prose?

Postby kalvano » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:39 pm

Have you not read any of the advice on this site in regards to personal statements?

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nematoad
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Re: How Risky is Prose?

Postby nematoad » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:39 pm

ccs1702 wrote:This isn't prose.

Edit: Also, I wouldn't use this. It's pretty ridiculous.

+1

i doubt it will work, but if you don't really have a shot anyways, its a more fun way to waste $70.

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Mr. Matlock
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Re: How Risky is Prose?

Postby Mr. Matlock » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:41 pm

YOU my friend, have some major acceptances coming your way!!

Image

Xnegd wrote:Of what we know, this world is young,
but it's spirit is strong and it's pleasures are fun.
It's cultures are abundant, and its people diverse,
From cradle, to cottage, till death and reverse.

Life is a story yet to be told,
It's paths open to any who seek to unfold.
That single choice which will affect our future,
And must be guided with focused thought as we venture.

My heart is strong and my mind is set,
I will be the candidate that you will not forget.
It's lessons are harsh but it's scent sweet as a rose,
I acknowledge the risk that I take with my prose.

My passion for law is sincere and true,
My experience abundant, realistic in my view.
It's a career I've already excelled at to this date,
And it's time to increase the skill set on my plate.

I start my day and dissect our deals,
I look for future waivers and mold them to appeal.
International contracts are were I shine,
To our Partners, my eye for details readily does shine.

Give me a contract signed in full,
By the General Counsel on the companies payroll.
Lets it have savings, and be at our standard fair,
and my goosebumps will rise and I jump from my chair.

Experience alone does not success foretell,
Nor how a student will do as they become an "One L."
As I go to the next stage not any school will do,
It must reflect my passion, and my goals through and through.

My ambition is unparalleled and I strive for the best,
The beat of my passion roars like a lion in my chest.
Against like minds of our futures content,
The best of the best must I compete against.

Not just for pride, for that can lead one ones demise,
But for a location that is ripe for legal growth for the wise.
I've dedicate a great deal of my life to helping those in need,
Specifically with youths in need of a good deed.

In Oakland, San Francisco, San Leandro and more,
It's important not to forget that needs of the tried, weak, and poor.
I am more and more motivated as I live through life,
That the world needs someone to help with it's strife.

It's a tale you've no doubt herd before,
Prospective students swearing they'll fight forever more.
The validity of my claims I leave to your review,
Hopefully my resume and background will strengthen your view.

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reasonabledoubt
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Re: How Risky is Prose?

Postby reasonabledoubt » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:42 pm

I tried googling pieces of this in hopes that it was a flame and copied from somewhere else but I'm afraid it's found nowhere else in the wide and vast world wide intarwebz. I'm saddened that this might be real and have to think less of human beings in general for this having been written for any reason other than a joke.

AustinOrgans
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Re: How Risky is Prose?

Postby AustinOrgans » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:42 pm

It's verse, and it's abysmal.

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Xnegd
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Re: How Risky is Prose?

Postby Xnegd » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:43 pm

Yea, I've read the advice on here, this is pretty much what i thought.

It was fun to to write while on Bart to work none the less. Nevermind, okay let this thread die.

Thanks! :-)

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fl0w
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Re: How Risky is Prose?

Postby fl0w » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:44 pm

i admit i made my first post without reading it. but then i read the first two lines and had already started finding grammatical errors. I stopped there.

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RickyRoe
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Re: How Risky is Prose?

Postby RickyRoe » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:49 pm

On the one hand I agree with you taking a risk on your PS as a "hail mary" attempt to differentiate yourself with something other than numbers. On the other hand, that poem seems a little desperate not to mention corny and lame. That said, even if most of us hated it, you never know how the adcomm will feel about it. Maybe he/she will be in the minority that loves it/finds it cute/rewards a risk taker/whatever and it pushes you over the top. They read so many of these personal statements, most of which are the same cliches, that you never know how they will react to something different. However, I don't like your chances and I wouldn't send this to any school unless you have no chance of being accepted on your numbers.

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kittenmittons
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Re: How Risky is Prose?

Postby kittenmittons » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:51 pm

Mr. Matlock wrote:YOU my friend, have some major acceptances coming your way!!

Image

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kalvano
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Re: How Risky is Prose?

Postby kalvano » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:51 pm

Also, as an English major -

This isn't prose. Prose is regular writing. This is technically poetry, since it's set to a rhyming structure. And error-filled poetry as well.

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NayBoer
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Re: How Risky is Prose?

Postby NayBoer » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:51 pm

fl0w wrote:i admit i made my first post without reading it. but then i read the first two lines and had already started finding grammatical errors. I stopped there.
This. Don't try gimmicks if you can't even pull them off flawlessly.

Ohhhhh... If you want it to be possessive,
It's just "I-T-S."
But if it's supposed to be a contraction,
Then it's "I-T-apostrophe-S,"
Scalawag.

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MC Southstar
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Re: How Risky is Prose?

Postby MC Southstar » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:55 pm

Use it. I like it.

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D. H2Oman
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Re: How Risky is Prose?

Postby D. H2Oman » Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:57 pm

MC Southstar wrote:Use it. I like it.



+1, and I worked in a T14 admissions office for a while. Most people on here don't know what they're talking about. Trust me, this is solid.

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Ragged
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Re: How Risky is Prose?

Postby Ragged » Fri Feb 12, 2010 3:10 pm

Some lines don't really rhyme when they should... like "future" and "venture". Its corny. Its banal. Its not witty or interesting in any way. Right of the bat it makes the reader want to shoot him/her self in the face only to be spared from having to finish it. Nevertheless, good job on the effort. Sorry for the harsh review.

I liked Burger in a Can's Cornell poem alot more.

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reasonabledoubt
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Re: How Risky is Prose?

Postby reasonabledoubt » Fri Feb 12, 2010 3:12 pm

D. H2Oman wrote:
MC Southstar wrote:Use it. I like it.



+1, and I worked in a T14 admissions office for a while. Most people on here don't know what they're talking about. Trust me, this is solid.


D. Waterman is an insufferable troll at times but in this rare case, he's right. I changed my mind and this is quite inspiring. Definitely use it - especially if you're applying to all the schools I am. ;)

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Xnegd
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Re: How Risky is Prose?

Postby Xnegd » Fri Feb 12, 2010 3:14 pm

Thanks, like I said before I wrote it on my way to work, I'm sure that there is lots of grammatical blunders.

I was just wondering if I should bother correcting them, and rewording it and make something of it, or keep it as the doodle it is, and move on.

If I did use it, it would only be for school that I wouldn’t get accepted to with my stats i.e. T15, or ones that I was a shoe-in for and wanted to have some fun. I'll just stick with my current PS.

Thanks all, again feel free to let this thread die lol. :-)

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Kronk
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Re: How Risky is Prose?

Postby Kronk » Fri Feb 12, 2010 3:19 pm

kittenmittons wrote:
Mr. Matlock wrote:YOU my friend, have some major acceptances coming your way!!

Image



I honestly hope you enjoy your acceptances,
and use your money from BigLaw to touch women's breastices.

lawschoolstudent85
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Re: How Risky is Prose?

Postby lawschoolstudent85 » Fri Feb 12, 2010 3:25 pm

.
Last edited by lawschoolstudent85 on Tue May 11, 2010 3:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Ragged
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Re: How Risky is Prose?

Postby Ragged » Fri Feb 12, 2010 3:28 pm

Xnegd wrote:Thanks, like I said before I wrote it on my way to work, I'm sure that there is lots of grammatical blunders.

I was just wondering if I should bother correcting them, and rewording it and make something of it, or keep it as the doodle it is, and move on.

If I did use it, it would only be for school that I wouldn’t get accepted to with my stats i.e. T15, or ones that I was a shoe-in for and wanted to have some fun. I'll just stick with my current PS.

Thanks all, again feel free to let this thread die lol. :-)


Oh no, my man. This is the internet, and more so this is TLS. You put something like that out there and people will keep bashing it for as long as possible. Your best bet would be to edit out your poem out of OP, but unfortunately someone has already quoted it.

I would not bother correcting any mistakes in it. Just move on. Good try, but not this time. You can still write a poem, but you should start from scratch.

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Kronk
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Re: How Risky is Prose?

Postby Kronk » Fri Feb 12, 2010 3:34 pm

Ragged wrote:
Xnegd wrote:Thanks, like I said before I wrote it on my way to work, I'm sure that there is lots of grammatical blunders.

I was just wondering if I should bother correcting them, and rewording it and make something of it, or keep it as the doodle it is, and move on.

If I did use it, it would only be for school that I wouldn’t get accepted to with my stats i.e. T15, or ones that I was a shoe-in for and wanted to have some fun. I'll just stick with my current PS.

Thanks all, again feel free to let this thread die lol. :-)


Oh no, my man. This is the internet, and more so this is TLS. You put something like that out there and people will keep bashing it for as long as possible. Your best bet would be to edit out your poem out of OP, but unfortunately someone has already quoted it.

I would not bother correcting any mistakes in it. Just move on. Good try, but not this time. You [strike]can still write a poem, but you should start from scratch.[/strike] write a normal PS that is actually informative for the admissions committee instead of wasting their time




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