Quick! LSAT addendum PLEASE CRITIQUE

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lsatrehtard
Posts: 14
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 4:10 pm

Quick! LSAT addendum PLEASE CRITIQUE

Postby lsatrehtard » Mon Feb 01, 2010 8:38 pm

A couple schools have requested I explain a 5 pt jump in my lsat score. I didn't really want to write this (don't like to make excuses). Any comments or suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

When I took the LSAT in June of 2009, I felt that I was prepared. I had taken numerous practice tests, spent a good amount of my savings on an over-priced instructional prep course, and eliminated any irresponsible activity from interfering with my preparation. However, what I could not perceive would be another headache.
Having been active in contact and “extreme” sports for most of my life, I’ve accumulated a number of injuries. Pinched nerves, calcium deposits, tendonitis, and constricted circulation are all common side effects of my endeavors. Ranging from kick-boxing and grappling in early youth to skateboarding, snowboarding, mountain biking, and wrestling as I got older, these sports tend to take a toll on their participants. In the spring of 2009 I had been experiencing fairly limiting headaches, due to a neck injury exacerbated by a concussion during the 2009 snowboarding season. These headaches would come and go, sometimes making it difficult to do anything more than watch television and drink some water.
Prior to the June LSAT, I had been attending physical therapy and receiving acupuncture, but these treatments could not speed up the process of recovery. While taking the June LSAT, I had a headache the entire time, making it very difficult to concentrate. I’m certain that such an experience would limit anyone’s ability to perform during such a rigorous exam.
Even today I am still working to minimize the pain and discomfort that arises from these headaches. They are much less frequent and far less limiting as compared to last year. Having made significant progress over the summer and into the fall, I felt motivated to enroll for the December exam. Though working full-time, I began studying for the exam and was pleasantly surprised with my progress on the exam. I am certain that, with my continued diligence and less reckless athletic pursuits, I will not be limited by such an experience once again.


Thanks in advance. I'd be more than happy to critique your stuff in exchange... PS or addenda.

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pa.wink
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Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2010 3:08 pm

Re: Quick! LSAT addendum PLEASE CRITIQUE

Postby pa.wink » Thu Feb 04, 2010 1:58 pm

I think this just has way too much information in it. These should be the main points of your statement:

1) I injured my neck and head snowboarding, which gave me severe headaches
2) The headaches affected my June LSAT preparation and performance on the exam itself (in these ways . . . )
3) I have gradually recovered and was well enough to achieve a score on the December LSAT which better reflects my abilities

All the stuff about your preparation (except how it was impeded by your headaches), extreme-sports lifestyle, unrelated injuries and treatment is distracting, at best. At worst, it sounds like you're trying to accumulate a bunch of excuses because you aren't really behind the headache one.

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CardinalRules
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Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2009 5:20 pm

Re: Quick! LSAT addendum PLEASE CRITIQUE

Postby CardinalRules » Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:44 am

lsatrehtard wrote:A couple schools have requested I explain a 5 pt jump in my lsat score. I didn't really want to write this (don't like to make excuses). Any comments or suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

When I took the LSAT in June of 2009, I felt that I was prepared. I had taken numerous practice tests, spent a good amount of my savings on an [strike]over-priced[/strike]instructional prep course, and eliminated any [strike]irresponsible[/strike]activity from interfering with my preparation. However, what I could not perceive would be another headache.
Having been active in contact and “extreme” sports for most of my life, I’ve accumulated a number of injuries. [strike]Pinched nerves, calcium deposits, tendonitis, and constricted circulation are all common side effects of my endeavors.[/strike] Ranging from kick-boxing and grappling in early youth to skateboarding, snowboarding, mountain biking, and wrestling as I got older, these sports tend to take a toll on their participants. In the spring of 2009 I had been experiencing fairly limiting headaches, due to a neck injury exacerbated by a concussion during the 2009 snowboarding season. These headaches would come and go, sometimes making it difficult to do anything more than watch television and drink some water.
[strike]Prior to the June LSAT, I had been attending physical therapy and receiving acupuncture, but these treatments could not speed up the process of recovery.[/strike] While taking the June LSAT, I had a headache the entire time, making it very difficult to concentrate. I’m certain that such an experience would have limited [strike]anyone’s[/strike] myability to perform during such a rigorous exam.
Even today I am still working to minimize the pain and discomfort that arises from these headaches. [strike]They are much less frequent and far less limiting as compared to last year.[/strike] Having made significant progress over the summer and into the fall, I felt motivated to enroll for the December exam. Though working full-time, I began studying for the exam and was pleasantly surprised with my progress on the exam. I am certain that, with my continued diligence and less reckless athletic pursuits, I will not be limited by such an experience once again.


Thanks in advance. I'd be more than happy to critique your stuff in exchange... PS or addenda.


See above for a way to make it more concise and minimize the defensive tone.




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