Death in the family addendum- Feedback needed Forum
-
- Posts: 6
- Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2009 3:38 pm
Death in the family addendum- Feedback needed
I would like to submit a brief addendum to my law school application explaining why my last semester undergrad grades were poor. This is what I plan to submit. My semester GPA's were always 3.67-3.8, (ok one 3.5) and it fell to a 2.8 this one semester. Would anyone offer feedback?
Addendum to Application Regarding Spring 2008 Grades
Dear Admissions Committee:
It is important to me to explain why my grades from the spring semester of 2008 were poor. My mother passed away on March 28, 2008 from lung failure. I truly was not able to do my best work to my level of confusion and grief. I believe that my record demonstrates consistently impressive work, save for this brief period of time.
Sincerely,
Me
Thank you, whoever takes the time to share your thoughts.
Addendum to Application Regarding Spring 2008 Grades
Dear Admissions Committee:
It is important to me to explain why my grades from the spring semester of 2008 were poor. My mother passed away on March 28, 2008 from lung failure. I truly was not able to do my best work to my level of confusion and grief. I believe that my record demonstrates consistently impressive work, save for this brief period of time.
Sincerely,
Me
Thank you, whoever takes the time to share your thoughts.
- Cavalier
- Posts: 1994
- Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 6:13 pm
Re: Death in the family addendum- Feedback needed
The first sentence seems unnecessary, given the addendum's title and the rest of its content. Also, I wouldn't use the word "impressive" to describe your academic work.
-
- Posts: 6
- Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2009 3:38 pm
Re: Death in the family addendum- Feedback needed
No? All A's/A-'s except for one B (at a rigorous school) isn't impressive? Or is it just a conceited tone?
-
- Posts: 2983
- Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 2:38 pm
Re: Death in the family addendum- Feedback needed
+due in the 3rd
- devilishangelrjp
- Posts: 234
- Joined: Tue Jan 05, 2010 2:21 pm
Re: Death in the family addendum- Feedback needed
A little...km87505 wrote: Or is it just a conceited tone?
Want to continue reading?
Register now to search topics and post comments!
Absolutely FREE!
Already a member? Login
-
- Posts: 7445
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2009 5:47 am
Re: Death in the family addendum- Feedback needed
km87505 wrote:No? All A's/A-'s except for one B (at a rigorous school) isn't impressive? Or is it just a conceited tone?
Tone
-
- Posts: 6
- Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2009 3:38 pm
Re: Death in the family addendum- Feedback needed
On second thought, how about a letter format instead, even more brief:
Date
Address
Dear Admissions Committee:
There is a significant reason for my grades in the spring of 2008 being poor. My mother passed away on March 28, 2008 from lung failure. I truly was not able to give my last semester my best effort due to my level of confusion and grief.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Me
...Too brief?
Date
Address
Dear Admissions Committee:
There is a significant reason for my grades in the spring of 2008 being poor. My mother passed away on March 28, 2008 from lung failure. I truly was not able to give my last semester my best effort due to my level of confusion and grief.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Me
...Too brief?
- devilishangelrjp
- Posts: 234
- Joined: Tue Jan 05, 2010 2:21 pm
Re: Death in the family addendum- Feedback needed
I like it. It doesn't gush or try to harp on the problem. It does the job concisely.km87505 wrote:On second thought, how about a letter format instead, even more brief:
Date
Address
Dear Admissions Committee:
There is a significant reason for my grades in the spring of 2008 being poor. My mother passed away on March 28, 2008 from lung failure. I truly was not able to give my last semester my best effort due to my level of confusion and grief.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Me
...Too brief?
-
- Posts: 6
- Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2009 3:38 pm
Re: Death in the family addendum- Feedback needed
Aaaah! Split infinitive!
It should be, 'I was truly not able to!'
It should be, 'I was truly not able to!'
- s0ph1e2007
- Posts: 1043
- Joined: Sat Oct 10, 2009 10:37 pm
Re: Death in the family addendum- Feedback needed
im sorry for your loss,
you say 'confusion' perhaps add 'unexpectedly passed away'
that might be even more persuasive than it already is
you say 'confusion' perhaps add 'unexpectedly passed away'
that might be even more persuasive than it already is
-
- Posts: 6
- Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2009 3:38 pm
Re: Death in the family addendum- Feedback needed
She actually had a degenerative disease, so we knew she was going to die from lung failure eventually... I think I'll leave 'unexpected' out given this circumstance, but thanks for the suggestion.
-
- Posts: 280
- Joined: Tue Jun 23, 2009 7:07 pm
Re: Death in the family addendum- Feedback needed
I lowe you. I hope you get in your top choice school.
-
- Posts: 333
- Joined: Mon Dec 07, 2009 2:32 pm
Re: Death in the family addendum- Feedback needed
My thought is to rearrange like so, adding a brief statement like the one I've suggested, indicating what you want them to think - that they should look at your previous grades. Not sure if others think the last sentence is redundant because it is implied by the submission and context of the addendum, though.
km87505 wrote:On second thought, how about a letter format instead, even more brief:
Date
Address
Dear Admissions Committee:
There is a significant reason for my poor grades in [strike]the[/strike] spring [strike]of[/strike] 2008. My mother passed away from lung failure on March 28, 2008. Due to my [strike]level of[/strike] confusion and grief I was unable to give my [strike]last semester my[/strike] best effort. I believe my prior academic record provides the best indication of my academic ability.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Me
...Too brief?
-
- Posts: 6
- Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2009 3:38 pm
Re: Death in the family addendum- Feedback needed
Yeff,
Thanks so much. That really improves it!
Best,
Kate
Thanks so much. That really improves it!
Best,
Kate
Register now!
Resources to assist law school applicants, students & graduates.
It's still FREE!
Already a member? Login