any input on ps would be greatly appreciated

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spactin
Posts: 6
Joined: Wed Jan 27, 2010 2:34 pm

any input on ps would be greatly appreciated

Postby spactin » Wed Jan 27, 2010 2:37 pm

Many of us have an abstract feeling that we are missing something in our lives; for some it could be God, others a material possession, and for more the embrace of an absent love. That abstract need, once it has manifested itself as a definable thing, can be the end or just the beginning of a long journey. In my own case, figuring out what that need was has unburdened a great deal of pressure but also brought about new challenges.
The majority of my undergraduate years were sabotaged by a student with a lack of motivation. I spent four years at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst reveling in a carefree outlook, nonchalant and content with whatever grade I received. On leaving UMass in the summer of 2005, I began renovation projects in Cambridge and Beacon Hill. Starting at the age of 14, I worked with my father in construction when I was not in school. At first, I did not have much say in the matter but as my skill grew I began to enjoy it. I took great pride in my finished product, but soon a void began to grow. The need for more intellectual stimulation forced me to question the choices I made. I felt stagnant; I had become my own antagonist. My father and mother had both emigrated from Ireland to Boston long ago with the hopes of a better life. They worked hard to give me every advantage they could, and I felt I had done nothing with it. One hopes that, with every struggle overcome, the successive generation will be that much better off than the last. Families are either rising or falling in America, and I certainly did not feel like I was rising.
Looking back at who I was while I was in school, that person is almost unrecognizable now. My work and life experiences since then have changed me profoundly and instilled in me discipline and perseverance founded through hard work. The most important thing I learned was that to ensure a quality product it is essential that each new phase is built upon prior work that has been done correctly. Avoiding assumptions and making sure such things as floor joists are properly secured, blocked and leveled is critical to future phases. Care and extra effort to make sure things are done correctly saves future time, frustration, and money. This lesson is also important in academia as well as every other facet of life; all things should be built on a stable, well-prepared foundation to ensure success.
An optimistic outlook alone is no longer a virtue, and I have begun to make strides to remedy my past transgressions and head toward my dreams. In 2009, I dedicated myself to completing my undergraduate course load, and in 2010 I would like to see through my goal of being admitted to and beginning law school. Although I cannot see with my present vision the entirety of the course of this road, the fact that I have come to it is a burden relieved.
I want to study law not just to become a lawyer but also to better understand the world and improve upon it. As it stands now, I do not have more than a cursory understanding of the intricacies of law but I have the desire to learn. To do this, I must work to develop an independent mind and this is extremely difficult to do alone. The best way to accomplish this is through an organization that provides others of like curiosity to spark imagination and thought.
The circumstances and the mission surrounding the foundation of Suffolk Law is what drew me to the school. At its core is the belief that the opportunity to study and practice law ought to be open to any eager man with noble ambitions without regard to their social or economic standing. The ideal held as the model for a Suffolk Law graduate is a self-made man with wit and drive that is born out of hard work and a solid moral foundation. I feel I embody those ideals. To study law, for me, is more than just the means to a future career; it is a chance to continue to grow intellectually and as a person and to help not just myself but others around me.

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jonas586
Posts: 90
Joined: Tue Aug 18, 2009 1:21 am

Re: any input on ps would be greatly appreciated

Postby jonas586 » Wed Jan 27, 2010 3:40 pm

Your PS reads like a really bad, drawn out, addendum. It doesn't have any specific theme, and jumps around too much from one topic to the next.

You go from discovering a void in your life, to being a shitty student, to working on carpentry with dad, to discussing intergenerational mobility, to not being the same shitty student you once were, and finally, to how you want to go to law school --not only to practice law, but also to make the world a better place.

Personally, I think you need to start over and focus on fewer ideas, and make sure they all tie into one overall theme. A few ideas that I think should not be included are: alluding to how law school fills a void in your life, and that, as a lawyer, you want to make the world a better place.

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JAP1985
Posts: 89
Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2009 1:51 pm

Re: any input on ps would be greatly appreciated

Postby JAP1985 » Wed Jan 27, 2010 3:45 pm

+1 pretty much to what the poster above me said. most people have this revelation, it's called "growing up". i definitely think there is a great story in there, it was just hard to find in between all of the self-realization and saving the world.

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jks289
Posts: 1415
Joined: Sun Nov 01, 2009 9:42 pm

Re: any input on ps would be greatly appreciated

Postby jks289 » Wed Jan 27, 2010 3:46 pm

jonas586 wrote:Your PS reads like a really bad, drawn out, addendum. It doesn't have any specific theme, and jumps around too much from one topic to the next.

You go from discovering a void in your life, to being a shitty student, to working on carpentry with dad, to discussing intergenerational mobility, to not being the same shitty student you once were, and finally, to how you want to go to law school --not only to practice law, but also to make the world a better place.

Personally, I think you need to start over and focus on fewer ideas, and make sure they all tie into one overall theme. A few ideas that I think should not be included are: alluding to how law school fills a void in your life, and that, as a lawyer, you want to make the world a better place.


I have to agree with this. The statement is unreadable. I'd just ditch it and start over. I'd try to find really specific academic motivations and bring in a little something about your personal character. Sorry, I know that is tough to hear.




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