GPA addendum critique

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
lawschooler
Posts: 10
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2009 12:43 pm

GPA addendum critique

Postby lawschooler » Tue Jan 26, 2010 10:39 am

This is just a rough first draft. I really do not know how this should be written or what else to include. I tried to look some samples up on TLS but did not find anything too solid. Let me know what you think should be in this and if this is any good at all. I would think an addendum should be short? or am I wrong? Just critique as much as possible. btw I did not do spell/grammar checks yet haha so if anything looks funny sorry.



To Whom It May Concern:

This addendum is in concern to my G.P.A. and my placement on Academic Probation during my first three years of college. During my freshman year of college I fell very ill with Shingles. I continued to stay in school despite my illness instead of taking a much needed medical leave. My grades suffered tremendously and my professors and faculty took notice. I was placed on Academic Probation but was allowed to continue my education under the guidance of a mentor. The Dean and selected faculty decided it would be best if I met weekly with my mentor to make sure I was progressing and to support me in any way possible. I stayed on Academic Probation for the next three years, working as hard as possible to bring my G.P.A. back up. Without the support of the Dean and my mentor I would never have been able to stay in school and graduate, but they always continued to encourage me to keep pursuing my degree. I was released from Academic Probation my senior year and graduated with the honor of being on the Dean's List with a final semester G.P.A. of 3.42.

lawschooler
Posts: 10
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2009 12:43 pm

Re: GPA addendum critique

Postby lawschooler » Wed Jan 27, 2010 7:17 pm

bumpppppppp

anyone at all?!

FreshPrince
Posts: 42
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2009 10:11 pm

Re: GPA addendum critique

Postby FreshPrince » Thu Jan 28, 2010 5:54 pm

lawschooler wrote:This is just a rough first draft. I really do not know how this should be written or what else to include. I tried to look some samples up on TLS but did not find anything too solid. Let me know what you think should be in this and if this is any good at all. I would think an addendum should be short? or am I wrong? Just critique as much as possible. btw I did not do spell/grammar checks yet haha so if anything looks funny sorry.



To Whom It May Concern:

This addendum is in concern to my G.P.A. and my placement on Academic Probation during my first three years of college. During my freshman year of college I fell very ill with Shingles. I continued to stay in school despite my illness instead of taking a much needed medical leave. My grades suffered tremendously and my professors and faculty took notice. I was placed on Academic Probation but was [strike]allowed[/strike]encouraged to continue my education under the guidance of a mentor. The Dean and selected faculty decided it would be best if I met weekly with my mentor to make sure I was progressing and to support me in any way possible. I stayed on Academic Probation for the next three years, working as hard as possible to bring my G.P.A. back up. [strike]Without the support of the Dean and my mentor I would never have been able to stay in school and graduate, but they always continued to encourage me to keep pursuing my degree.[/strike] I was released from Academic Probation my senior year and graduated with the honor of being on the Dean's List with a final semester G.P.A. of 3.42.


I wouldn't say that you wouldn't have been able to graduate without help. Makes you seem needy. I would portray this more as it was a wake up call for you and an opportunity for you to take advantage of additional resources at your school (your mentor and Dean) in order to realize your goal. Make sure you also include lessons learned.

lawschooler
Posts: 10
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2009 12:43 pm

Re: GPA addendum critique

Postby lawschooler » Thu Jan 28, 2010 6:29 pm

FreshPrince wrote:
lawschooler wrote:This is just a rough first draft. I really do not know how this should be written or what else to include. I tried to look some samples up on TLS but did not find anything too solid. Let me know what you think should be in this and if this is any good at all. I would think an addendum should be short? or am I wrong? Just critique as much as possible. btw I did not do spell/grammar checks yet haha so if anything looks funny sorry.



To Whom It May Concern:

This addendum is in concern to my G.P.A. and my placement on Academic Probation during my first three years of college. During my freshman year of college I fell very ill with Shingles. I continued to stay in school despite my illness instead of taking a much needed medical leave. My grades suffered tremendously and my professors and faculty took notice. I was placed on Academic Probation but was [strike]allowed[/strike]encouraged to continue my education under the guidance of a mentor. The Dean and selected faculty decided it would be best if I met weekly with my mentor to make sure I was progressing and to support me in any way possible. I stayed on Academic Probation for the next three years, working as hard as possible to bring my G.P.A. back up. [strike]Without the support of the Dean and my mentor I would never have been able to stay in school and graduate, but they always continued to encourage me to keep pursuing my degree.[/strike] I was released from Academic Probation my senior year and graduated with the honor of being on the Dean's List with a final semester G.P.A. of 3.42.


I wouldn't say that you wouldn't have been able to graduate without help. Makes you seem needy. I would portray this more as it was a wake up call for you and an opportunity for you to take advantage of additional resources at your school (your mentor and Dean) in order to realize your goal. Make sure you also include lessons learned.



ah finally some advice! that seems to make sense, i will take that out for sure.
i still am not sure if it should be as short? but will add more about lessons learned.

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Xnegd
Posts: 322
Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 4:06 pm

Re: GPA addendum critique

Postby Xnegd » Thu Jan 28, 2010 6:35 pm

FreshPrince wrote:
lawschooler wrote:This is just a rough first draft. I really do not know how this should be written or what else to include. I tried to look some samples up on TLS but did not find anything too solid. Let me know what you think should be in this and if this is any good at all. I would think an addendum should be short? or am I wrong? Just critique as much as possible. btw I did not do spell/grammar checks yet haha so if anything looks funny sorry.

To Whom It May Concern:

This addendum is in concern to my G.P.A. and my placement on Academic Probation during my first three years of college. During my freshman year of college I fell very ill with Shingles. I continued to stay in school despite my illness instead of taking a much needed medical leave. My grades suffered tremendously and my professors and faculty took notice. I was placed on Academic Probation but was [strike]allowed[/strike]encouraged to continue my education under the guidance of a mentor. The Dean and selected faculty decided it would be best if I met weekly with my mentor to make sure I was progressing and to support me in any way possible. I stayed on Academic Probation for the next three years, working as hard as possible to bring my G.P.A. back up. [strike]Without the support of the Dean and my mentor I would never have been able to stay in school and graduate, but they always continued to encourage me to keep pursuing my degree.[/strike] I was released from Academic Probation my senior year and graduated with the honor of being on the Dean's List with a final semester G.P.A. of 3.42.


I wouldn't say that you wouldn't have been able to graduate without help. Makes you seem needy. I would portray this more as it was a wake up call for you and an opportunity for you to take advantage of additional resources at your school (your mentor and Dean) in order to realize your goal. Make sure you also include lessons learned.



+1 Definitely take that out.

Also, talk to the schools you're applying to. I asked mine about their addendum, and most told me keep it under two pages. Davis told me I get for pages of writing, and I could use whatever length I didn't use for my personal statement.

UCLA was super cool about it, and told me just to do whatever I felt was best. ftw!

lawschooler
Posts: 10
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2009 12:43 pm

Re: GPA addendum critique

Postby lawschooler » Fri Jan 29, 2010 1:30 pm

Xnegd wrote:
FreshPrince wrote:
lawschooler wrote:This is just a rough first draft. I really do not know how this should be written or what else to include. I tried to look some samples up on TLS but did not find anything too solid. Let me know what you think should be in this and if this is any good at all. I would think an addendum should be short? or am I wrong? Just critique as much as possible. btw I did not do spell/grammar checks yet haha so if anything looks funny sorry.

To Whom It May Concern:

This addendum is in concern to my G.P.A. and my placement on Academic Probation during my first three years of college. During my freshman year of college I fell very ill with Shingles. I continued to stay in school despite my illness instead of taking a much needed medical leave. My grades suffered tremendously and my professors and faculty took notice. I was placed on Academic Probation but was [strike]allowed[/strike]encouraged to continue my education under the guidance of a mentor. The Dean and selected faculty decided it would be best if I met weekly with my mentor to make sure I was progressing and to support me in any way possible. I stayed on Academic Probation for the next three years, working as hard as possible to bring my G.P.A. back up. [strike]Without the support of the Dean and my mentor I would never have been able to stay in school and graduate, but they always continued to encourage me to keep pursuing my degree.[/strike] I was released from Academic Probation my senior year and graduated with the honor of being on the Dean's List with a final semester G.P.A. of 3.42.


I wouldn't say that you wouldn't have been able to graduate without help. Makes you seem needy. I would portray this more as it was a wake up call for you and an opportunity for you to take advantage of additional resources at your school (your mentor and Dean) in order to realize your goal. Make sure you also include lessons learned.



+1 Definitely take that out.

Also, talk to the schools you're applying to. I asked mine about their addendum, and most told me keep it under two pages. Davis told me I get for pages of writing, and I could use whatever length I didn't use for my personal statement.

UCLA was super cool about it, and told me just to do whatever I felt was best. ftw!



Ok, so I talked to a few schools and they did not really give me a limit. They said as long as it is explained thoroughly, the length shouldn't matter. I think I will include another paragraph or something about how I learned from all of this and how it makes me a better student.

Thank you all for your advice!




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