GPA Addendum - Critique, please?

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swilson215
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GPA Addendum - Critique, please?

Postby swilson215 » Tue Jan 19, 2010 9:34 pm

I had an addendum that was about four times this length, and went into great detail. After reading more on the forums I cut it down quite a bit, but would still love the feedback.



I do not believe my UGPA from XXX University to be indicative of my overall capability in a rigorous academic setting. Aside from the difficulty of transitioning between high school and college and moving 3,000 miles away from my family, I had serious documented health problems (a severe kidney infection that required hospitalization and several cases of strep throat) throughout my first year at XXX University that took my attention away from the classroom.

In addition, I was unfamiliar with the proper protocol for dropping a class, which resulted in a class I believed I had dropped to report a “failing” grade. I accept full responsibility for this, and made sure to become familiar with both the proper procedure and registrar office staff after this instance in order to make sure the issue did not occur again.

Aside from these health problems, I had serious personal problems that are mentioned on another submitted addendum, that resulted significant time spent away from a campus that is fairly isolated. The mental anguish and stress caused by having to complete certain programs off-campus contributed to a decline in my GPA. After taking a semester off to address these issues I was able to return to campus and graduate on time and with a higher GPA than in previous semesters.

I wish to draw attention to my major GPA, as well as my high LSAT scores, which I believe more accurately indicate my academic abilities and commitment to the study of law.



*note: the extra addendum I refer to is going to be regarding a fifth degree felony charge that was pressed and dismissed, but caused ramifications at a small school.

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devilishangelrjp
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Re: GPA Addendum - Critique, please?

Postby devilishangelrjp » Tue Jan 19, 2010 9:40 pm

swilson215 wrote:I had an addendum that was about four times this length, and went into great detail. After reading more on the forums I cut it down quite a bit, but would still love the feedback.



I do not believe my UGPA from XXX University to be indicative of my overall capability in a rigorous academic setting. Aside from the difficulty of transitioning between high school and college and moving 3,000 miles away from my family, I had serious documented health problems (a severe kidney infection that required hospitalization and several cases of strep throat) throughout my first year at XXX University that took my attention away from the classroom.

In addition, I was unfamiliar with the proper protocol for dropping a class, which resulted in a class I believed I had dropped to report a “failing” grade. I accept full responsibility for this, and made sure to become familiar with both the proper procedure and registrar office staff after this instance in order to make sure the issue did not occur again.

Aside from these health problems, I had serious personal problems that are mentioned on another submitted addendum, that resulted significant time spent away from a campus that is fairly isolated. The mental anguish and stress caused by having to complete certain programs off-campus contributed to a decline in my GPA. After taking a semester off to address these issues I was able to return to campus and graduate on time and with a higher GPA than in previous semesters.

I wish to draw attention to my major GPA, as well as my high LSAT scores, which I believe more accurately indicate my academic abilities and commitment to the study of law.



*note: the extra addendum I refer to is going to be regarding a fifth degree felony charge that was pressed and dismissed, but caused ramifications at a small school.


Still rather long, to me.

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swilson215
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Re: GPA Addendum - Critique, please?

Postby swilson215 » Tue Jan 19, 2010 9:44 pm

That's what I was afraid of, but I feel like all of the information is important to contribute. What would you cut out?

Miracle
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Re: GPA Addendum - Critique, please?

Postby Miracle » Fri Jan 22, 2010 8:44 pm

One grade brought your GPA down?

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swilson215
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Re: GPA Addendum - Critique, please?

Postby swilson215 » Fri Jan 22, 2010 9:05 pm

When the one grade is an "F" it really does.
PLUS - the semester that I had personal problems my GPA was significantly lower than normal, which stung, too.

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bees
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Re: GPA Addendum - Critique, please?

Postby bees » Fri Jan 22, 2010 9:07 pm

I think "rigorous academic setting" makes you sound like a tool. I like the rest of it. It's a little long but I think that's just due to the nature of what happened, not because you are being too wordy.

Miracle
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Re: GPA Addendum - Critique, please?

Postby Miracle » Sat Jan 23, 2010 12:28 am

swilson215 wrote:When the one grade is an "F" it really does.
PLUS - the semester that I had personal problems my GPA was significantly lower than normal, which stung, too.


You can always repeat it!

one "F" doesn't deserve an addendum!

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Dany
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Re: GPA Addendum - Critique, please?

Postby Dany » Sat Jan 23, 2010 2:04 am

swilson215 wrote:I do not believe my UGPA from XXX University to be indicative of my overall capability in a rigorous academic setting. Aside from the difficulty of transitioning between high school and college and moving 3,000 miles away from my family, I had serious documented health problems (including a severe kidney infection that required hospitalization [strike]and several cases of strep throat[/strike]) [I would cut that. I've had chronic strep throat, and yes, it's pretty miserable, but it shouldn't have had an effect on your GPA. The kidney infection seems like a big deal, but I doubt adcomms want students to list every time they had strep or the flu and claim that their GPA suffered.] throughout my first year at XXX University that took my attention away from the classroom.

[strike]In addition, I was unfamiliar with the proper protocol for dropping a class, which resulted in a class I believed I had dropped to report a “failing” grade. I accept full responsibility for this, and made sure to become familiar with both the proper procedure and registrar office staff after this instance in order to make sure the issue did not occur again.[/strike] [You've GOT to take this part out. Saying "Whoops, I didn't know how to go to the registar's website and find a simple procedure" does not make you seem like a responsible student. Are you going to one day claim to a judge that you didn't show up in court because you were "unfamiliar with the proper protocol" for filing a continuance? This paragraph just makes you seem foolish.]

Aside from these health problems, I had serious personal problems that are mentioned on another submitted addendum, that resulted significant time spent away from [strike]a[/strike] campus. [strike]that is fairly isolated[/strike] [What does the campus being isolated have to do with not being on campus? Just say that you were away from school.] The mental anguish and stress caused by having to complete certain programs [What programs? Name them, or it sounds fishy.] off-campus contributed to a decline in my GPA. After taking a semester off to address these issues I was able to return to campus and graduate on time, and with a higher GPA than in previous semesters.

I wish to draw attention to my major GPA, as well as my high LSAT scores, which I believe more accurately indicate my academic abilities and commitment to the study of law.



This was pretty bad. Addenda are meant to answer any questions in an adcomm's mind, and to downplay weaknesses in an application. This just sounded like excuse after excuse after excuse. It needs to be short, and simply ask them to focus on your LSAT score because your GPA was affected by X, Y, & Z, none of this strep throat, mental anguish nonsense. You need to come across as a mature individual, not one who's making excuses for things that have happened in the past.

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mi-chan17
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Re: GPA Addendum - Critique, please?

Postby mi-chan17 » Sat Jan 23, 2010 2:43 pm

swilson215 wrote:I do not believe my UGPA from XXX University to be indicative of my overall capability in a rigorous academic setting. [strike]Aside from the difficulty of transitioning between high school and college and moving 3,000 miles away from my family[/strike], [I would remove this. A lot of students move far from home and have to adjust to college.] I had serious documented health problems (a severe kidney infection that required hospitalization and several cases of strep throat) throughout my first year at XXX University that took my attention away from the classroom. [I'd actually say to expand on this part. Just saying you had strep throat doesn't tell me what made it difficult for you. Did it force you to miss an unusual amount of class? Because that sounds like an understandable reason for a low GPA. If it just made you uncomfortable, then maybe leave it out.]


I feel that Eskimo gave you good advice. Cut down on a lot of the stuff in the remaining piece of the addendum (not quoted here), because much of it is unnecessary and comes across as excuses. If the above mentioned medical issues were a major obstacle to attending class or performing well in them, then by all means explain How. Hospitalization is self-explanatory, but strep throat really isn't.

Good luck! :)




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