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(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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daizee
Posts: 57
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2010 1:16 am

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Postby daizee » Fri Jan 15, 2010 10:39 pm

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Last edited by daizee on Wed Feb 03, 2010 8:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

tx1987
Posts: 115
Joined: Sun Jan 10, 2010 7:21 pm

Re: Is the 1st paragraph confusing?

Postby tx1987 » Sun Jan 17, 2010 8:16 pm

daizee wrote:
Impossible is where I thrive.



I had to stop and tell how how much I adore that first sentence. Seriously, it is just a perfect first sentence. I am in awe of that sentence.

I understood the first paragraph, but I had to read it more than once. It was a little convoluted for me, but then, again, the adcomms might love that! :) I'd just break the second sentence up into two. And I'm not sure about the last line about it being a fairy tale. I like it and it shows personality, but I wonder if that'll be too cutesy for them...I just don't know.

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daizee
Posts: 57
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2010 1:16 am

Re: Is the 1st paragraph confusing?

Postby daizee » Sun Jan 17, 2010 8:40 pm

tx1987

THANK YOU SO SO MUCH! You just made my day!!!! I really want to go into the pervasive corruption of the healthcare system, since that's what I sadly know so well, but supposedly talking about legal matters is sort of a bad topic. So wanted to tie it in with my resume but then steer clear towards a project that seems safer.

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daizee
Posts: 57
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2010 1:16 am

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Postby daizee » Sun Jan 17, 2010 9:06 pm

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