Feminism and Islamic Law PS

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deevilsih
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Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 3:26 am

Feminism and Islamic Law PS

Postby deevilsih » Fri Jan 15, 2010 3:28 am

Redacted.
Last edited by deevilsih on Sun Jan 17, 2010 12:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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deevilsih
Posts: 18
Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 3:26 am

Re: Feminism and Islamic Law PS

Postby deevilsih » Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:25 pm

Hmm, my pre-law advisor just told me to cut the first paragraph - any thoughts?

Hell, any feedback at this point would be welcome!

Thanks so much.

mattymatt
Posts: 55
Joined: Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:58 pm

Re: Feminism and Islamic Law PS

Postby mattymatt » Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:45 pm

As before, your PS is very well written and compelling.

A few changes I would suggest:

deevilsih wrote:Planning the AWSA conference and assisting Nawal during my first semester at Smith was a trial by fire; I spent long hours focused on learning to orchestrate and fund an international academic conference, [strike]but the payoff was well worth the price[/strike]. I compiled countless abstracts and papers, wrote a Quadrennial Report to the Chair of the UN Non-Governmental Organization Section, sorted out visas for participants from Iraq to India, sought grants from top foundations, and acted as liason between international academics, writers, artists, and advocates. In the eight months between Nawal’s unexpected decision and the conference’s realization in Cairo, I developed into a leader capable of an intense work ethic, delicate diplomacy, and organizational prowess while learning to harness and direct the differing interests and energies of participants into a synergetic whole.


This part:
deevilsih wrote:The conference exposed me to a wide diversity of global women’s needs and introduced me to an array of incredible men and women fighting for women’s rights. During my time working with conference participants, my dedication to women’s rights deepened as I navigated seemingly divergent paradigms across cultures; I learned to respect and honor disparate ideas and discovered the importance of seeking common cross-cultural denominators in the fight for global gender equality.

These lessons of personal effacement proved invaluable as I continued studying and visiting the Middle East and North Africa and redefined my relationship with my values, ideals, and beliefs. For the first time, I could deconstruct the lens through which I viewed the world and examine how my life, experiences, and culture refracted that before me. I saw how surviving physical abuse, growing up in Iowa, grappling with a chronic illness, coming to terms with my sexuality, and being on my own at a young age colored my perceptions of feminism, liberty, equality, and justice. Recognizance of this bias has helped deepen my understanding of the foreign issues I faced as I lived and studied in Morocco and Egypt.


are definitely the most important parts of your statement. This is where you reflect not just on what you did, but what it meant to you.

This sentence:
deevilsih wrote:For the first time, I could deconstruct the lens through which I viewed the world and examine how my life, experiences, and culture refracted that before me.
is a bit unclear. I'd suggest something like, "For the first time, I was able to see the effects of the lens through which I viewed the world and examined my life, experiences and culture."

I would definitely keep the first paragraph. Like I mentioned before, it provides a nice context for the rest of the statement. If you delete anything, it should be from one of the paragraphs where you talk about the process of organizing the event (e.g. the second paragraph), or the 5th paragraph could be streamlined a bit. The longest parts of your statement shouldn't be those that simply talk about things you've done. Those parts read more like a resume narrative and not a PS.

All in all, still a very good statement.




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