YLS Help: too Corny?

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monique522
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YLS Help: too Corny?

Postby monique522 » Thu Jan 14, 2010 6:32 pm

I just finished my 250 word essay.... I'm kind of freaking out and this is the final paragraph.. I just need to know if it's too corny... my whole essay is about my job working at an orange juice factory for 6 months of my life... and all the lessons i learned from that...

"And so, I asked myself one day: 'Orange you ready to advance your life?' And I answered yes -- my calling is greater than this."

I'm worried about the "orange," obvs.

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apper123
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Re: YLS Help: too Corny?

Postby apper123 » Thu Jan 14, 2010 6:33 pm

wrong forum

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como
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Re: YLS Help: too Corny?

Postby como » Thu Jan 14, 2010 6:34 pm

I think it's too corny, but people at yale are probably pretty corny too. I wouldn't do it though.

falkon059er
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Re: YLS Help: too Corny?

Postby falkon059er » Thu Jan 14, 2010 10:14 pm

monique522 wrote:I just finished my 250 word essay.... I'm kind of freaking out and this is the final paragraph.. I just need to know if it's too corny... my whole essay is about my job working at an orange juice factory for 6 months of my life... and all the lessons i learned from that...

"And so, I asked myself one day: 'Orange you ready to advance your life?' And I answered yes -- my calling is greater than this."

I'm worried about the "orange," obvs.


Talk about that whole Yale thing. (Yale thing?) Yeah, Yale thing. (What whole Yale thing?) Well, for one, talk about being a closet homosexual who does a lot of cocaine. That whole Yale thing.

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thesealocust
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Re: YLS Help: too Corny?

Postby thesealocust » Thu Jan 14, 2010 10:26 pm

edit: n/m
Last edited by thesealocust on Mon Dec 20, 2010 7:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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fonzerelli
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Re: YLS Help: too Corny?

Postby fonzerelli » Thu Jan 14, 2010 10:34 pm

monique522 wrote:I just finished my 250 word essay.... I'm kind of freaking out and this is the final paragraph.. I just need to know if it's too corny... my whole essay is about my job working at an orange juice factory for 6 months of my life... and all the lessons i learned from that...

"And so, I asked myself one day: 'Orange you ready to advance your life?' And I answered yes -- my calling is greater than this."

I'm worried about the "orange," obvs.


I just hope you didn't pick (pun intended?) to write about the OJ factory just so you can use this corny ending. That is overwhelmingly corny - I would drop it and if you were hoping that ending to be some sort of cute conclusory cymbal in the minds of YALE adcoms, I'd seriously rethink that. (maybe the entire 250?)

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prezidentv8
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Re: YLS Help: too Corny?

Postby prezidentv8 » Thu Jan 14, 2010 10:35 pm

fonzerelli wrote:
monique522 wrote:I just finished my 250 word essay.... I'm kind of freaking out and this is the final paragraph.. I just need to know if it's too corny... my whole essay is about my job working at an orange juice factory for 6 months of my life... and all the lessons i learned from that...

"And so, I asked myself one day: 'Orange you ready to advance your life?' And I answered yes -- my calling is greater than this."

I'm worried about the "orange," obvs.


I just hope you didn't pick (pun intended?) to write about the OJ factory just so you can use this corny ending. That is overwhelmingly corny - I would drop it and if you were hoping that ending to be some sort of cute conclusory cymbal in the minds of YALE adcoms, I'd seriously rethink that. (maybe the entire 250?)


I like it. You know how many "I had bad things happen to me and now I'm awesome" type essays these people see every day?

leftofthedial
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Re: YLS Help: too Corny?

Postby leftofthedial » Thu Jan 14, 2010 11:19 pm

monique522 wrote:
"And so, I asked myself one day: 'Orange you ready to advance your life?' And I answered yes -- my calling is greater than this."

I'm worried about the "orange," obvs.


I'd be more concerned about this...callings are pretty subjective, and I think this smacks of, well, classism. I'm not saying that's what you mean, not having read the essay and all, but I wouldn't chance it.

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devilishangelrjp
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Re: YLS Help: too Corny?

Postby devilishangelrjp » Thu Jan 14, 2010 11:21 pm

monique522 wrote:I just finished my 250 word essay.... I'm kind of freaking out and this is the final paragraph.. I just need to know if it's too corny... my whole essay is about my job working at an orange juice factory for 6 months of my life... and all the lessons i learned from that...

"And so, I asked myself one day: 'Orange you ready to advance your life?' And I answered yes -- my calling is greater than this."

I'm worried about the "orange," obvs.


Boo hiss...

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Snoopy1216
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Re: YLS Help: too Corny?

Postby Snoopy1216 » Thu Jan 14, 2010 11:23 pm

I don't particularly like it as a sentence. However, if you were to use it as a title "Orange You Ready?" That may really catch their attention.




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