Final draft, submitting tonight! Any comments will help!

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
silas84
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Oct 17, 2009 7:18 pm

Final draft, submitting tonight! Any comments will help!

Postby silas84 » Wed Jan 13, 2010 12:15 am

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Last edited by silas84 on Wed Jan 13, 2010 9:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

athena
Posts: 16
Joined: Sat May 02, 2009 4:31 pm

Re: Final draft, submitting tonight! Any comments will help!

Postby athena » Wed Jan 13, 2010 1:35 am

Great work!.. I would not put many of the details in the third paragraph though. I see that's why you delayed to apply to law school.
But since you want to submit it today, it's alright.

silas84
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Oct 17, 2009 7:18 pm

Re: Final draft, submitting tonight! Any comments will help!

Postby silas84 » Wed Jan 13, 2010 4:32 am

athena wrote:Great work!.. I would not put many of the details in the third paragraph though. I see that's why you delayed to apply to law school.
But since you want to submit it today, it's alright.


Edit: Thanks. I was debating on what to do with the third paragraph. Actually, this current one is a somewhat less dramatic version.
Last edited by silas84 on Wed Jan 13, 2010 10:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

silas84
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Oct 17, 2009 7:18 pm

Re: Final draft, submitting tonight! Any comments will help!

Postby silas84 » Wed Jan 13, 2010 10:42 am

Bump

athena
Posts: 16
Joined: Sat May 02, 2009 4:31 pm

Re: Final draft, submitting tonight! Any comments will help!

Postby athena » Wed Jan 13, 2010 5:15 pm

Cut it short and add it to the second paragraph..i dont see anything else wrong with unless you have prood read it a hundred times....




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