Out of School 9 Years, Look and Help! Please!

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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Joined: Mon Jan 11, 2010 10:36 am

Out of School 9 Years, Look and Help! Please!

Postby Brac1681 » Mon Jan 11, 2010 11:21 am

I graduated from the University of Oklahoma in 2000 with a 2.76 GPA. I took the December LSAT and scored a 166. I am applying to the University of Oklahoma and a few other local schools. I would really appreciate some help with my PS. ANY advice would be appreciated. Please Be Kind! thanks!

A New Path
Sitting and waiting in my empty office, it’s after nine in the morning and I am racking my brain trying to remember what time FedEx comes. I decide to go upstairs to get something to drink; one of the mechanics in the shop yells up that FedEx has already been here. How did I miss that? What did he have? Was it a letter or a box? If it was a letter then everything I’ve worked for over the past nine years could be in jeopardy. It can’t be the letter. I just found out Amanda’s pregnant again. Karma wouldn’t give us our third child only to rip away our livelihood a few short weeks later. Among other things, we’d have to sell the house. Law school might be coming back into the picture.
College was a mixed bag for me. I wanted the education that came along with attending class, but it was also the first time in my life I had been completely on my own. Too much freedom led me down the path of fraternity life, football games, drinking, and sleeping too much. In college I felt I had a life waiting for me that didn’t have to be earned. So in turn I felt like I could get by with the bare minimum and that’s what I did. I know now I didn’t take full advantage of the resources and opportunities available to me. Given the chance in law school, that won’t happen again.
My life really started changing five years ago when I met my wife. Up until then I was living a life that I didn’t feel entitled to, but didn’t have to earn. I was glad I was born into the family business, and everything was progressing as one might expect: going to college, starting full time in the business, running the business, and meeting my wife. Then we had kids and the hard work began. The business began to struggle and with kids to feed, I started working harder. Only hard work and determination were going to keep my family’s car dealership going into its 60th year. Unfortunately that all changed when we got the letter. Our business had to close, new plans had to be made, and lives would change.
Lawyers have always been close friends in my life; they are the ones I have been drawn to as role models. So after considering many new job opportunities, law school kept coming back into the picture. It was the path that felt right. I minored in legal studies in college, and always found law to be fascinating. I felt more obligated to go into the family business with my father after college than attend law school. It’s what my father had done, and well he turned out pretty great. But now things have changed. I want a career that my girls can be proud of.
If my work experience has taught me anything, it’s that you have to keep earning what you have. I have matured to a highly motivated individual who knows now what his priorities are. I have the experience of hard work that most other applicants won’t have. I have been relying on my name and reputation over the last nine years to keep up our small business, something attorneys are familiar with. You are only as good as your name, and I’ve lived that. Coming from a background of running my own small business for nine years will provide me with a unique perspective as I enter the world of law.
It’s now five days before the LSAT. I’ve been studying for over eight weeks now and I feel confident and prepared. I’m in the same office that I got the news about our dealership closing; the same office that the FedEx letter came to nearly 6 months earlier. Only now it’s empty. There aren’t any other employees in the building, no customers in the waiting room, and the lot sits vacant of any cars. It’s fitting that this is the place I have been preparing to take the next step for my family. The only problem is that my wife’s due date is any day now. I’m hoping it’s not actually on test day.
As luck would have it, she calls me as I’m sitting there. She tells me to gather my stuff, meet her at home, because her water just broke. Four hours later the latest addition to our family arrives; Molly Rose Brackeen, born on November 30th at 1:38 pm. I knew now I wouldn’t miss the test, but sleep deprivation would be a problem. We decided to let me get as much sleep the night before as possible and hope for the best. Then the waiting began and the questions started. Had I been too sleep deprived? Have I been out of school too long?
The last 8 months have been quite a journey; one that will only continue with acceptance into the OU College of Law. The University of Oklahoma is my first choice for Law School. I have many personal friends who have completed law school at OU, and it carries the highest recommendation. OU, to me stands for excellence, and a law degree from OU will mean more, stand for more, and feel more earned than it could at any other institution that I could possibly attend. It is as you might say, my dream school. Everyone I’ve talked to or met there, from Susan Wilson, in the admissions office, to Meredith Wegener, one of your professors, have done nothing but improve upon that reputation. I look forward to hearing from you, and hope to be working with you over the course of the next 3 school years.

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Joined: Sat May 02, 2009 4:31 pm

Re: Out of School 9 Years, Look and Help! Please!

Postby athena » Mon Jan 11, 2010 10:45 pm

I don't see a story in this. I see random incidents. But you have good points. I am sorry your fly business had to close but what has that to do with law school. Is it just because the business closed that you decided to go to law school? I think you should focus more on the aspects of yuor car dealership and use that tie up to any particular program you liked in school. Congrats on your the new addition in the family but just to make your girls proud is not reason to go to law school. I hope you get my point.

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Joined: Sat May 02, 2009 2:28 pm

Re: Out of School 9 Years, Look and Help! Please!

Postby dlee975 » Tue Jan 12, 2010 11:25 am

I agree with athena. Your ps seems like a bunch of fragmented events. You should work on the flow and perhaps a more, for lack of a better word, sincere reason to study law after being out of school for 9 years. Maybe you could talk about the experiences involved in shutting down the business, I'm sure attorneys were involved?

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