Please review and critique my personal statement

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )

Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Jan 10, 2010 6:02 pm

Please review and critique my personal statement

Postby southfloridacees » Sun Jan 10, 2010 6:08 pm

first draft. non-traditional student.

In my educational career I always felt more a numbers person than a words person. This may be the reason why I became a Certified Public Accountant. Throughout my professional growth other interests have developed, and this has led me to the decision of becoming a legal professional. Every opportunity I get to review and inquire about legal documents I grasp everything I can. In my mind, every contract, corporate document or communication with external parties have the potential of monetary implications. A law profession has a reputation for having savvy wordy writing. I will need to engage this very aspect and absorb everything I can while attending law school. There are many courses offered at the Shepard Broad Law Center that capture my interest, ranging from contract law to taxation law to construction law.
While in the Navy I began to think of what the future would hold for me. I had many memorable and maturing experiences. I am able to engage many different people because of these experiences. I also understand world better. The opportunity to witness first hand other cultures in my travels has given me a better prospective of what the United States offers. There is nothing in this world like the States. Soon after honorably completing my enlistment, the G.I. Bill became a springboard for an education and current career in the accounting field. Honor, courage and commitment are the core values instilled in every service member while in the Navy. They continue to be essential in my everyday life, including the desire to continue my education toward a legal profession.
Attending Florida Atlantic University and working primarily customer service jobs, I continued to better myself. Immediately after graduating with an accounting degree, I sought employment in the field. During the past five years I have gained an enormous amount of experience and diversified myself within accounting. Initial simple tasks such as reconciliations, payroll preparation, trial balance overviews and income tax preparation led me to accomplish more challenging and complex business transactions. Within my accounting practice I have often encountered instances in the many industries, such as construction, hospitality, manufacturing and government entities where legal matters have been discussed.
Legal counsel is necessary throughout the process in every audit. Corporate lawyers are familiar with these inquiries and corporate disclosure is the primary reason. Unethical behavior seems to be the primary cause for many of the recent corporate scandals. I’ve had the great opportunity to lead on an Internal Revenue Service Audit for a corporate client. It was exciting to participate in such endeavor. The particular case involves a Florida corporation and subsidiary to a foreign corporation. The IRS agent in charge was very inquisitive, especially when it involved foreign transactions. The amount of communication is just the beginning to what became a lengthy commitment. I was cautious and precise in communicating with the agent. Such an assignment is one of many that made me have an interest in law.
When I become a corporate attorney I will be able to facilitate a wide range of business transactions. Business owners are very aware of the risks associated with managing a business. Some of the most successful businessmen in our country are risk takers. By becoming a corporate lawyer, I will not hinder my clients but help their business flourish. I have the will, persistence and dedication to accomplish more than I already have.
Other than my years in the Navy, South Florida has been my community and I want to make it better. I will practice law in Broward County and increase my current network of other professionals. My transcripts do not tell my entire story. I am an immigrant who has taken advantage of opportunities that I’ve had thus far. I am extremely fortunate.


Posts: 16
Joined: Sat May 02, 2009 4:31 pm

Re: Please review and critique my personal statement

Postby athena » Tue Jan 12, 2010 2:48 am

The content seems pretty good for a first draft. Though you would need to reorganize your material

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