Will someone please critique my DS??

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
dlee975
Posts: 35
Joined: Sat May 02, 2009 2:28 pm

Will someone please critique my DS??

Postby dlee975 » Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:58 pm

Thanks All....done
Last edited by dlee975 on Tue Feb 02, 2010 3:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

dlee975
Posts: 35
Joined: Sat May 02, 2009 2:28 pm

Re: Will someone please critique my DS??

Postby dlee975 » Fri Jan 08, 2010 2:33 pm

this is my edited version. help

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gdane
Posts: 12383
Joined: Sat Sep 26, 2009 2:41 pm

Re: Will someone please critique my DS??

Postby gdane » Fri Jan 08, 2010 3:00 pm

Uhhh... Kind of hard to critique this.

I think you drag the discrimination on a little too much. I see too much about the discrimination you went through, but not enough about what you learned from it, how your diversity makes you relevant to the law school community and most imporatantly what makes you different than every other ethnic minority.

BUT i LOVE the last sentence. Very powerful and relevant.

dlee975
Posts: 35
Joined: Sat May 02, 2009 2:28 pm

Re: Will someone please critique my DS??

Postby dlee975 » Fri Jan 08, 2010 3:36 pm

hmmm.. i'm reading and really only one paragraph deals with the discrimination. I can see how I need to include how I grew from this and how these experiences make me unique.. I'll see what I can do. Thanks for the input.




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