PS rough first draft - thoughts?

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ambition23
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Jul 06, 2009 2:22 pm

PS rough first draft - thoughts?

Postby ambition23 » Thu Jan 07, 2010 8:08 pm

Hello all-

Below is a VERY rough draft of my first attempt at a generic PS. What do you think of it? How is the topic? Is it relatively well put together? I know it needs some revisions and rewording but what do you think of it as a whole? Any specific advice is also welcome.

Thanks for looking!

-------------------------------------
great feedback, that's what i was initially thinking. i'm having a hard time coming up with any sort of topic...
Last edited by ambition23 on Fri Jan 08, 2010 9:11 am, edited 1 time in total.

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reebtoor
Posts: 107
Joined: Sun Sep 27, 2009 2:14 pm

Re: PS rough first draft - thoughts?

Postby reebtoor » Thu Jan 07, 2010 8:38 pm

This looks like a Fast Fitness 101 end-of-term assignment. Most of the time the application will ask for a personal statement in fairly generic terms, but it invariably has at least something to do with law school. The fact that you claim to have been out of shape and can now (or could, at some point) run a sub-6 mile doesn't really show anything about your potential as a lawyer or your motivation for choosing law. It is also not very personal. All I know is that you could once run a fairly fast mile, then you couldn't, then you could again. I am left to wonder why you didn't stick with your job in that 7th-story cubicle, and what it is you really want to do. I think the writing is really clear, and I like the determined, optimistic tone, but I think you need to make it a PERSONAL statement for LAW SCHOOL.
Last edited by reebtoor on Thu Jan 07, 2010 8:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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pamplemousse
Posts: 35
Joined: Wed Jan 06, 2010 11:52 pm

Re: PS rough first draft - thoughts?

Postby pamplemousse » Thu Jan 07, 2010 8:43 pm

I agree with above. You could certainly use it as an example of your hardwork and dedication, but why law school? that's something that the admins are going to be asking for sure.




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