PS- getting close to final

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PS- getting close to final

Postby sternc » Mon Jan 04, 2010 4:27 pm

Be honest.

After two weeks at Gilber’s home, I knew Costa Rican roosters did not come with snooze buttons. It was an hour when reasonable people and farm animals were sleeping, yet that damn rooster wanted me up.  There was no use trying to sleep through it, so I threw off my blankets, went outside, and jumped into the ice-cold shower. Maybe a minute later I was out, not very clean, but certainly awake. Still shivering, I dressed, making sure to check if any tarantulas (big enforcers of trespassing codes) had decided to make my boots home for the evening. After a quick breakfast, it was time for the day’s work.

The nature of the work was visible through Gilber’s hands. After many years, his once useful and vigorous tools had deteriorated into the fifty-year-old antiques hanging by his sides. They were calloused and cripplingly arthritic. The pain was obvious in his eyes whether he was picking coffee beans, repairing a neighbor’s shed, or butchering a sow, but his work never slowed. Not once did he complain. As I worked beside him, constantly reminding myself of my supposed youth and vigor, I was moved. 

            I vividly remember looking down at my own pair of hands. Dirty from working outside, but below that initial layer of dirt lay smooth hands. I realized the closest thing I had to a callous was where my pen sat between my thumb and forefinger. I was ashamed. The more I watched and got to know Gilber, the more I realized his hands, old and tired as they were, were symbols of his comprehensive approach to life. Yes, his hands were the physical manifestation of a passionate dedication to his work, but they also represented the similar steadfast approach he took in all aspects of his life, including family, God, and community. He approached his faith, being a husband, father, brother, friend, and neighbor the same way his hands approached another day in the field: determined, regardless of the pain and personal sacrifice, to do what needed to be done, do it to the best of his abilities, and to go about it the right way.

            I know my hands will never look like Gilber's, but as a lawyer I hope to use his same tireless approach to achieve similar results. I will employ the strengths his hands represented, such as absolute dedication, relentlessness, and sacrifice to become the best, most dedicated, and involved lawyer possible. Beginning in high school, I actively pursued a greater understanding of what it took to be a great lawyer. I talked to and questioned successful lawyers I came into contact with about the recent evolution of law and how to best prepare myself for entering the profession. I kept up with happenings within the world of law like national security and its legal ramifications, the ever-evolving interpretations of the Constitution, particularly, the First Amendment, and the increasingly complicated nature of international law. After talking to all these people, reading countless articles, and thinking about what it took to be a great lawyer, I thought I had it pretty much figured out. Things changed when I saw Gilber and his hands working in the field.

It was a shock to find that he would teach me so much about succeeding and being the best lawyer possible. With absolutely no concept of American law school or the American judicial system, Gilber taught me lessons that will take me as far as any legal specific study I engage in over the next three years. There will be days when I am overcome by exhaustion and am at wits end about how to solve a crucial problem. In essence, my world will take the form of Gilber's crippled hands, hanging exhausted at his waist. But regardless of the pain, I intend to approach law school and being a lawyer the same way he and his hands approached another difficult day of work. I will feel as lame, but his example taught me to depend on my more powerful passion, dedication, and faith to finish the day's task. He showed me how to embrace all aspects of the job you love, do it to the best of your ability, and apply those same principles to all aspects of your life.

             I had gotten into the habit of keeping a journal during my days in Costa Rica, and any given entry might detail a day or two’s events over the course of a page or so. Looking back at my journal from that time, I came across an entry dated February 14th, 2007. Squeezed between two much longer and detailed entries were two underlined words: “his hands”. Though I had forgotten about the journal entry, the message behind it remains a vital part of my character and will be crucial to my future success as a lawyer. When I left to spend three months in Costa Rica I was skeptical that I would have the life changing moment that people describe after a trip abroad, especially one that would help me become the great lawyer I yearn to be. I never had such a moment, but a man and his hands did impact me in ways I could never have imagined.

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Re: PS- getting close to final

Postby whuts4lunch » Mon Jan 04, 2010 4:36 pm

I like it. I noticed that you use if instead of whether when there were only two options. Is being grammatically correct as a gerund?

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Re: PS- getting close to final

Postby fl0w » Mon Jan 04, 2010 4:49 pm

honestly i feel like i have not learned anything about you except that you have been in costa rica and you liked, and were impacted by, how hard someone else worked with their hands. I realize I'm not being entirely too helpful because I'm not offering a real solution. Just giving my honest opinion.

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Re: PS- getting close to final

Postby ru2009 » Tue Jan 05, 2010 10:40 am

I really like your writing style. This essay seems to be more focused on proving you are a good writer (which it is apparent that you are) than on you. If that's what you're going for, then great...I think it's good to talk about perseverance and I like the analogy you made, but I am a little confused on how this Costa Rican man taught you about law (I know you said he knows nothing about it but still taught you...I think you are being figurative and I understand claiming that he taught you perseverance, but you need to clarify how he taught you American law or take that part out.)
Overall, it sounds really good though....

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Re: PS- getting close to final

Postby tristanlxboyd » Tue Jan 05, 2010 1:29 pm

Second paragrah, move "They were calloused..." to the second sentence rather that the third. As it stands, the most logical antecedent for "they" is "tools."

In my opinion, "Dirty from working outside" should be preceded by a colon, and say, "hands: dirty from working outside, but still smooth just beneath."

But good, imo.

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Re: PS- getting close to final

Postby holborn » Tue Jan 05, 2010 1:32 pm

tristanlxboyd wrote:Second paragrah, move "They were calloused..." to the second sentence rather that the third. As it stands, the most logical antecedent for "they" is "tools."

In my opinion, "Dirty from working outside" should be preceded by a colon, and say, "hands: dirty from working outside, but still smooth just beneath."

But good, imo.

the OP is using the word tools interchanginbly with hands. aka his tools ARE his hands. so its grammatically correct.

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