Diversity Statement Samples

(BLS, URM status, non-traditional, GLBT)
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lawrencecis
Posts: 53
Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 3:42 am

Re: Diversity Statement Samples

Postby lawrencecis » Wed Jul 29, 2009 9:16 pm

I would greatly appreciate some feedback. Please be honest, thanks. (BTW, this is about 2 pages on MS Word).


I am a Mexican-American. My circumstances probably are different than that of other students. My mother was born in Mexico and knows very little, even to this day, of the educational process in the United States. Her whole family continues to live there and none of them went to college. I have to rely on my own research in order to find my way. My father is also Mexican-American, but is what some call a Chicano. A few people in his family went to college, however, none of them earned a professional degree. But, he advises against me going to law school, because he probably had bad experiences with lawyers. Navigating the waters of higher education has been much more difficult without people around me knowing from experience.

In high school, despite the relative ease with which I aced classes, my father discouraged me from taking honors classes. (He knew I would do well, go to some fancy college, and then not be able to afford it.) Education in my family is regarded as an end in itself, not as a means. I always knew I would go to X – being close to home and an economical education was the foremost priority. To attend school I needed to work and pool money in from my immediate and external family. I think this circumstance is the norm for most Latino students as well.

The experience with my fraternity in college also showed me how different I was from my peers – although I never realized it before. Being the only Hispanic in the fraternity gave me an eye-opening view into the world of which I was never accustomed. It also made me realize I would never truly be one of “them.” On one occasion in particular I remember sitting in a room at the fraternity house when two other brothers walked in the room saying every kind of derogatory, stereotypical slur about Mexican-Americans, unknowing I was tucked away in the corner of the room. I waited a second for them to finish their thoughts, and then finally just stared at them while walking out of the room. I heard what they really believed when I was not in front of them. We’ve spoken very infrequently since. Moreover, in another occasion, when I was pledging, an older brother tried to force me to regurgitate racial slurs about Mexicans – alluding to our supposed laziness and stupidity – just to humiliate me. I refused. Instead of getting mad, I worked harder. It is always better to show than to tell, anyways. I served on the Interfraternity Council – the board that oversees the entire Greek system – which included our own fraternity. I was the only person from the fraternity to compete on the Forensics Team, graduate Phi Beta Kappa or with any kind of academic honors. Despite feeling that to some “different” equates to bad, to me it really just means unique.

When you read this letter I will be in X, Mexico, living with my mother’s family. I wanted to get the chance to live in another country before law school, considering financial obligations inhibited me from doing so while in college. I never really had the chance to get to know my family across the border very well because of the challenges of meeting, even rarely. Living in a country whose economy is interconnected with the United States provides a most unique opportunity for me, which very few Americans can claim.

A wealthy friend of mine once told me how much he wished he could be in my position – fighting for, and earning, my way through life. Even though in my mind at the time I completely disagreed with him, I have come to realize the truth in his words. My experiences over the years will not only enable me to contribute more effectively in class, but make me a better lawyer. I bring a distinct perspective in a classroom which more accurately resembles the pluralist democracy in the United States. Fortunately, and unfortunately, knowing that racism exists in America, counts. Knowing how certain minority groups in America live, counts. As a law student and lawyer, I will make it count.

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sarlis
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Re: Diversity Statement Samples

Postby sarlis » Fri Aug 07, 2009 1:09 pm

.
Last edited by sarlis on Wed Apr 07, 2010 1:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

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bottomshelf
Posts: 80
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Re: Diversity Statement Samples

Postby bottomshelf » Sat Aug 08, 2009 10:54 am

lawrencecis wrote:I would greatly appreciate some feedback. Please be honest, thanks. (BTW, this is about 2 pages on MS Word).


I am a Mexican-American. My circumstances probably are different than that of other students. My mother was born in Mexico and knows very little, even to this day, of the educational process in the United States. Her whole family continues to live there and none of them went to college. I have to rely on my own research in order to find my way. My father is also Mexican-American, but is what some call a Chicano. A few people in his family went to college, however, none of them earned a professional degree. But, he advises against me going to law school, because he probably had bad experiences with lawyers. Navigating the waters of higher education has been much more difficult without people around me knowing from experience.

In high school, despite the relative ease with which I aced classes, my father discouraged me from taking honors classes. (He knew I would do well, go to some fancy college, and then not be able to afford it.) Education in my family is regarded as an end in itself, not as a means. I always knew I would go to X – being close to home and an economical education was the foremost priority. To attend school I needed to work and pool money in from my immediate and external family. I think this circumstance is the norm for most Latino students as well.

The experience with my fraternity in college also showed me how different I was from my peers – although I never realized it before. Being the only Hispanic in the fraternity gave me an eye-opening view into the world of which I was never accustomed. It also made me realize I would never truly be one of “them.” On one occasion in particular I remember sitting in a room at the fraternity house when two other brothers walked in the room saying every kind of derogatory, stereotypical slur about Mexican-Americans, unknowing I was tucked away in the corner of the room. I waited a second for them to finish their thoughts, and then finally just stared at them while walking out of the room. I heard what they really believed when I was not in front of them. We’ve spoken very infrequently since. Moreover, in another occasion, when I was pledging, an older brother tried to force me to regurgitate racial slurs about Mexicans – alluding to our supposed laziness and stupidity – just to humiliate me. I refused. Instead of getting mad, I worked harder. It is always better to show than to tell, anyways. I served on the Interfraternity Council – the board that oversees the entire Greek system – which included our own fraternity. I was the only person from the fraternity to compete on the Forensics Team, graduate Phi Beta Kappa or with any kind of academic honors. Despite feeling that to some “different” equates to bad, to me it really just means unique.

When you read this letter I will be in X, Mexico, living with my mother’s family. I wanted to get the chance to live in another country before law school, considering financial obligations inhibited me from doing so while in college. I never really had the chance to get to know my family across the border very well because of the challenges of meeting, even rarely. Living in a country whose economy is interconnected with the United States provides a most unique opportunity for me, which very few Americans can claim.

A wealthy friend of mine once told me how much he wished he could be in my position – fighting for, and earning, my way through life. Even though in my mind at the time I completely disagreed with him, I have come to realize the truth in his words. My experiences over the years will not only enable me to contribute more effectively in class, but make me a better lawyer. I bring a distinct perspective in a classroom which more accurately resembles the pluralist democracy in the United States. Fortunately, and unfortunately, knowing that racism exists in America, counts. Knowing how certain minority groups in America live, counts. As a law student and lawyer, I will make it count.


The only feedback I can give right now is that it's too long. Most requirements for a DS I've seen state 1 page or less.

Miracle
Posts: 929
Joined: Fri Dec 19, 2008 9:25 pm

Re: Diversity Statement Samples

Postby Miracle » Sun Aug 09, 2009 2:08 pm

I think we need more diversity statement samples :cry: :cry: :cry:

Miracle
Posts: 929
Joined: Fri Dec 19, 2008 9:25 pm

Re: Diversity Statement Samples

Postby Miracle » Sun Aug 09, 2009 2:14 pm

bottomshelf wrote:
lawrencecis wrote:I would greatly appreciate some feedback. Please be honest, thanks. (BTW, this is about 2 pages on MS Word).


I am a Mexican-American. My circumstances probably are different than that of other students. My mother was born in Mexico and knows very little, even to this day, of the educational process in the United States. Her whole family continues to live there and none of them went to college. I have to rely on my own research in order to find my way. My father is also Mexican-American, but is what some call a Chicano. A few people in his family went to college, however, none of them earned a professional degree. But, he advises against me going to law school, because he probably had bad experiences with lawyers. Navigating the waters of higher education has been much more difficult without people around me knowing from experience.

In high school, despite the relative ease with which I aced classes, my father discouraged me from taking honors classes. (He knew I would do well, go to some fancy college, and then not be able to afford it.) Education in my family is regarded as an end in itself, not as a means. I always knew I would go to X – being close to home and an economical education was the foremost priority. To attend school I needed to work and pool money in from my immediate and external family. I think this circumstance is the norm for most Latino students as well.

The experience with my fraternity in college also showed me how different I was from my peers – although I never realized it before. Being the only Hispanic in the fraternity gave me an eye-opening view into the world of which I was never accustomed. It also made me realize I would never truly be one of “them.” On one occasion in particular I remember sitting in a room at the fraternity house when two other brothers walked in the room saying every kind of derogatory, stereotypical slur about Mexican-Americans, unknowing I was tucked away in the corner of the room. I waited a second for them to finish their thoughts, and then finally just stared at them while walking out of the room. I heard what they really believed when I was not in front of them. We’ve spoken very infrequently since. Moreover, in another occasion, when I was pledging, an older brother tried to force me to regurgitate racial slurs about Mexicans – alluding to our supposed laziness and stupidity – just to humiliate me. I refused. Instead of getting mad, I worked harder. It is always better to show than to tell, anyways. I served on the Interfraternity Council – the board that oversees the entire Greek system – which included our own fraternity. I was the only person from the fraternity to compete on the Forensics Team, graduate Phi Beta Kappa or with any kind of academic honors. Despite feeling that to some “different” equates to bad, to me it really just means unique.

When you read this letter I will be in X, Mexico, living with my mother’s family. I wanted to get the chance to live in another country before law school, considering financial obligations inhibited me from doing so while in college. I never really had the chance to get to know my family across the border very well because of the challenges of meeting, even rarely. Living in a country whose economy is interconnected with the United States provides a most unique opportunity for me, which very few Americans can claim.

A wealthy friend of mine once told me how much he wished he could be in my position – fighting for, and earning, my way through life. Even though in my mind at the time I completely disagreed with him, I have come to realize the truth in his words. My experiences over the years will not only enable me to contribute more effectively in class, but make me a better lawyer. I bring a distinct perspective in a classroom which more accurately resembles the pluralist democracy in the United States. Fortunately, and unfortunately, knowing that racism exists in America, counts. Knowing how certain minority groups in America live, counts. As a law student and lawyer, I will make it count.


The only feedback I can give right now is that it's too long. Most requirements for a DS I've seen state 1 page or less.


Its extremely hard to squeeze diversity statement in 1 page

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lawrencecis
Posts: 53
Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 3:42 am

Re: Diversity Statement Samples

Postby lawrencecis » Fri Aug 14, 2009 9:09 pm

Miracle wrote:
bottomshelf wrote:
lawrencecis wrote:I would greatly appreciate some feedback. Please be honest, thanks. (BTW, this is about 2 pages on MS Word).


I am a Mexican-American. My circumstances probably are different than that of other students. My mother was born in Mexico and knows very little, even to this day, of the educational process in the United States. Her whole family continues to live there and none of them went to college. I have to rely on my own research in order to find my way. My father is also Mexican-American, but is what some call a Chicano. A few people in his family went to college, however, none of them earned a professional degree. But, he advises against me going to law school, because he probably had bad experiences with lawyers. Navigating the waters of higher education has been much more difficult without people around me knowing from experience.

In high school, despite the relative ease with which I aced classes, my father discouraged me from taking honors classes. (He knew I would do well, go to some fancy college, and then not be able to afford it.) Education in my family is regarded as an end in itself, not as a means. I always knew I would go to X – being close to home and an economical education was the foremost priority. To attend school I needed to work and pool money in from my immediate and external family. I think this circumstance is the norm for most Latino students as well.

The experience with my fraternity in college also showed me how different I was from my peers – although I never realized it before. Being the only Hispanic in the fraternity gave me an eye-opening view into the world of which I was never accustomed. It also made me realize I would never truly be one of “them.” On one occasion in particular I remember sitting in a room at the fraternity house when two other brothers walked in the room saying every kind of derogatory, stereotypical slur about Mexican-Americans, unknowing I was tucked away in the corner of the room. I waited a second for them to finish their thoughts, and then finally just stared at them while walking out of the room. I heard what they really believed when I was not in front of them. We’ve spoken very infrequently since. Moreover, in another occasion, when I was pledging, an older brother tried to force me to regurgitate racial slurs about Mexicans – alluding to our supposed laziness and stupidity – just to humiliate me. I refused. Instead of getting mad, I worked harder. It is always better to show than to tell, anyways. I served on the Interfraternity Council – the board that oversees the entire Greek system – which included our own fraternity. I was the only person from the fraternity to compete on the Forensics Team, graduate Phi Beta Kappa or with any kind of academic honors. Despite feeling that to some “different” equates to bad, to me it really just means unique.

When you read this letter I will be in X, Mexico, living with my mother’s family. I wanted to get the chance to live in another country before law school, considering financial obligations inhibited me from doing so while in college. I never really had the chance to get to know my family across the border very well because of the challenges of meeting, even rarely. Living in a country whose economy is interconnected with the United States provides a most unique opportunity for me, which very few Americans can claim.

A wealthy friend of mine once told me how much he wished he could be in my position – fighting for, and earning, my way through life. Even though in my mind at the time I completely disagreed with him, I have come to realize the truth in his words. My experiences over the years will not only enable me to contribute more effectively in class, but make me a better lawyer. I bring a distinct perspective in a classroom which more accurately resembles the pluralist democracy in the United States. Fortunately, and unfortunately, knowing that racism exists in America, counts. Knowing how certain minority groups in America live, counts. As a law student and lawyer, I will make it count.


The only feedback I can give right now is that it's too long. Most requirements for a DS I've seen state 1 page or less.


Its extremely hard to squeeze diversity statement in 1 page


Very true, but I think I might have managed to do it. However, I had to leave a big chunk out. Is it better/worse/no different? Thoughts anyone?

Only until a few years ago, I did not know my mother only became an American citizen shortly after I was born. She knows very little, even to this day, of the educational process in the United States. Her whole family continues to live in Mexico and none of them went to college. I rely on my own research in order to find my way through higher education. My father is also Mexican-American, but is what some call a Chicano. A few people in his family went to college; however, none earned a professional degree.

In high school, despite the relative ease with which I aced classes, my father discouraged me from taking honors classes. He knew I would do well, go to some fancy college, and then not be able to afford it. I always knew I would go to X – being close to home and having an affordable tuition were my foremost priorities. To attend school I needed government assistance, to work and to pool money in from my family. I am very thankful that our close family ties, indicative of our Hispanic heritage, enabled me to lean on them during college.

My Hispanic heritage also propelled me to excel in college, but maybe not for the reasons you might think. During the time I began to change my attitudes towards learning, I started reflecting on all the people in my family and in our community who did/do not have this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to receive an education. It is an insult to them to not give my absolute best effort at all times. Whenever I would get tired studying at the library I would think about all these people. There is no better motivation than to do something out of respect for others.

A wealthy friend of mine once told me how much he wished he could be in my position – fighting for, and earning, my way through life. Even though in my mind at the time I completely disagreed with him, I have come to realize the truth in his words. Indeed, my experiences bring distinct perspective to and improve the ethnic configuration of the class as well. Fortunately, and unfortunately, knowing that racism exists in America, counts. Knowing how certain minority groups in America live, counts. As a law student and lawyer, I will make it count.

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La Grind Date
Posts: 80
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 5:35 am

Re: Diversity Statement Samples

Postby La Grind Date » Sun Aug 23, 2009 6:49 pm

I would love to swap my diversity statement with someone! Please let me know if you are interested.


Thanks,
STA

PS
I am a good editor.

ChrisK9135
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Jul 06, 2009 1:48 pm

Re: Diversity Statement Samples

Postby ChrisK9135 » Mon Aug 24, 2009 9:10 pm

I'd also like to swap diversity statements. Please send me a PM. Thanks.

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Dtackpat75
Posts: 217
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Re: Diversity Statement Samples

Postby Dtackpat75 » Mon Aug 24, 2009 9:22 pm

I'll post mine. Appreciate any comments.

I felt small and worthless. I had heard the stereotypes, ignorant comments and racial slurs before, always with the same effect. My pale skin allowed me to blend in undetected as the perpetrators of these sentiments often felt confident in the composition of their audience. Silent and nodding in confirmation to escape detection, my desire to fit in overwhelmed my sense of pride and self worth. I had convinced myself speaking-up was not worth the trouble.

I am from a Cuban family. During childhood my definition of Cuban was simple. If you were Cuban, you spoke Spanish, listened and danced to Cuban music. You ate Cuban food and celebrated Noche Buena on Christmas Eve and Los Reyes Magos on January 6th. What it meant to be Cuban was a mere accumulation of these superficial things.

One day, seated with my great aunt at her dining room table along with my other family members of her generation, my definition of Cuban took on a greater meaning. Mesmerized by the black and white photos that lay scattered across the table, I had my first real look into the life that they left behind. Previously I had not truly understood the sacrifice they made in leaving Cuba for the United States. This generation of my family had lived fulfilling and happy lives in Cuba before leaving. I saw the pained looks on their faces as they recounted the stories of their past and their troubles in adapting to life in the United States. They had left behind friends and family, their careers and everything else familiar to them. They wanted their children and grandchildren to live their lives in a free country with better opportunities than they had.

That was when I understood that being Cuban is more than a collection of food, music and language. It is the appreciation of the sacrifice of this older generation, so that I could take advantage of the opportunities afforded to me today. Their sacrifice is why it is worth speaking up in the presence of ignorance. Their sacrifice is the reason I am proud of my heritage. Their sacrifice drives me to be great in everything I do and to take advantage of every opportunity. Their sacrifice is how I now define being Cuban.

Alemona34
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Sep 04, 2009 9:57 pm

Re: Diversity Statement Samples

Postby Alemona34 » Fri Sep 04, 2009 10:06 pm

I have several questions:

- What is a Diversity Statement? Is it the same or different than a Personal Statement?
- I would assume they would, but do Diversity Statements address disability? Does anyone have an example of a disability Diversity Statement?
- How do you avoid appearing opportunistic when writing a Diversity Statement? Every time I've talked about my experiences, I've always been accused of trying to use it for my "advantage." How do you address this in your writing?
- Are Diversity Statements more accepted at some schools than others?

Thank you in advance for answering my questions.

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23fulltimecowboys
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Re: Diversity Statement Samples

Postby 23fulltimecowboys » Sat Sep 19, 2009 8:42 pm

any more diverse c/o 2012's out there willing to share?

brooke
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Joined: Thu Sep 17, 2009 6:25 pm

Re: Diversity Statement Samples

Postby brooke » Fri Sep 25, 2009 12:20 am

8)
Last edited by brooke on Sat Sep 26, 2009 1:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Miracle
Posts: 929
Joined: Fri Dec 19, 2008 9:25 pm

Re: Diversity Statement Samples

Postby Miracle » Fri Sep 25, 2009 11:40 am

brooke wrote:I'm applying for Fall '10. Here is my diversity statement, please state opinions on it honestly! I don't bruise too easily (hopefully not).

Diversity Statement

I played with medicine bottles. Vertically above the microwave rests a cabinet that contained my escape from reality. Everyday, I would push over a kitchen chair, climb on top, open the cabinet, pull out the medicine bottles, and create an entirely new universe. These medicine bottles were figments of nonexistent Barbie dolls, as I would fabricate their luxurious lives in ways I yearned internally. These dolls traveled to eccentric places, engulfed outlandish foods, and lived in homes with heaters and air conditioning. The hours spent tucked away in this internal fantasy served as a means of consolation to my dismal reality. Being born and raised in an impoverished family, my creative juices stretched beyond limitation as I fought to construct the things I desired but was unable to afford.
There is a different sort of treatment toward disabled bodies. My parents faced a verbal disability from not knowing the English language sufficiently enough to jumpstart and engage in lengthy conversations. Because of this, they faced ridicule, maltreatment, and scorn through life. Disabled bodies don’t seem to count. Post surgery, I would drive my mother to her monthly cancer appointments and as was every appointment, the receptionist only looked at me when speaking. She’d ask a question in reference to my mother, and I would turn to her, translate the question, she’d respond back to me in Vietnamese, and then I would relay the American version to the receptionist. The receptionist would look right at me and smile, with a brief cursory glance toward my mom – that was all she was worth to the receptionist, a hasty 2-second glance. From financial disabilities, relying on food stamps and housing, to social disabilities, not knowing a sufficient amount of English and being Asian immigrants, my parent didn’t seem to count in this nation.

I became the adult: the one who reasoned with housing agents, the one to discuss problems with handymen who came to fix our sinks, the one who drove my parents to doctor appointments, who answered the probing questions from doctors, and the one who showed my parents where to sign on the forms.

The forced immigration from Vietnam, the invasion of the communists, and the lost of familiarity, family, and home was reasoned with a ‘promised future’ for their children. My parents fled in order to bring forth a better tomorrow for their children: my two siblings and I. They gave it all up in order to provide for us a future. This is why disabled bodies should count. There is a story behind every disability, resulting in a greater understanding and appreciation that follow suit once disclosed. Their selfless sacrifice pales in comparison to any trivial problems I face, as I constantly remind myself that if my parents were able to come into a foreign land with no money or knowledge of the English language and provide a home and food for my family, any strife I encounter is nothing compared to their own. No matter how dire the situation, I must succeed.


You are an excellent writer however, now that I read it for the first time, I feel like something is missing; it comes across as if you took a big chunk out just to make it short and to the point.

brooke
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Sep 17, 2009 6:25 pm

Re: Diversity Statement Samples

Postby brooke » Sat Sep 26, 2009 1:05 pm

thanks for the tip miracle! :mrgreen:

Miracle
Posts: 929
Joined: Fri Dec 19, 2008 9:25 pm

Re: Diversity Statement Samples

Postby Miracle » Sat Sep 26, 2009 2:00 pm

brooke wrote:thanks for the tip miracle! :mrgreen:


Do you understand what I'm trying to say?

HuckFinn587
Posts: 8
Joined: Sat Oct 03, 2009 4:00 pm

Re: Diversity Statement Samples

Postby HuckFinn587 » Thu Oct 08, 2009 6:20 pm

Miracle wrote:
brooke wrote:I'm applying for Fall '10. Here is my diversity statement, please state opinions on it honestly! I don't bruise too easily (hopefully not).

Diversity Statement

I played with medicine bottles. Vertically above the microwave rests a cabinet that contained my escape from reality. Everyday, I would push over a kitchen chair, climb on top, open the cabinet, pull out the medicine bottles, and create an entirely new universe. These medicine bottles were figments of nonexistent Barbie dolls, as I would fabricate their luxurious lives in ways I yearned internally. These dolls traveled to eccentric places, engulfed outlandish foods, and lived in homes with heaters and air conditioning. The hours spent tucked away in this internal fantasy served as a means of consolation to my dismal reality. Being born and raised in an impoverished family, my creative juices stretched beyond limitation as I fought to construct the things I desired but was unable to afford.
There is a different sort of treatment toward disabled bodies. My parents faced a verbal disability from not knowing the English language sufficiently enough to jumpstart and engage in lengthy conversations. Because of this, they faced ridicule, maltreatment, and scorn through life. Disabled bodies don’t seem to count. Post surgery, I would drive my mother to her monthly cancer appointments and as was every appointment, the receptionist only looked at me when speaking. She’d ask a question in reference to my mother, and I would turn to her, translate the question, she’d respond back to me in Vietnamese, and then I would relay the American version to the receptionist. The receptionist would look right at me and smile, with a brief cursory glance toward my mom – that was all she was worth to the receptionist, a hasty 2-second glance. From financial disabilities, relying on food stamps and housing, to social disabilities, not knowing a sufficient amount of English and being Asian immigrants, my parent didn’t seem to count in this nation.

I became the adult: the one who reasoned with housing agents, the one to discuss problems with handymen who came to fix our sinks, the one who drove my parents to doctor appointments, who answered the probing questions from doctors, and the one who showed my parents where to sign on the forms.

The forced immigration from Vietnam, the invasion of the communists, and the lost of familiarity, family, and home was reasoned with a ‘promised future’ for their children. My parents fled in order to bring forth a better tomorrow for their children: my two siblings and I. They gave it all up in order to provide for us a future. This is why disabled bodies should count. There is a story behind every disability, resulting in a greater understanding and appreciation that follow suit once disclosed. Their selfless sacrifice pales in comparison to any trivial problems I face, as I constantly remind myself that if my parents were able to come into a foreign land with no money or knowledge of the English language and provide a home and food for my family, any strife I encounter is nothing compared to their own. No matter how dire the situation, I must succeed.


You are an excellent writer however, now that I read it for the first time, I feel like something is missing; it comes across as if you took a big chunk out just to make it short and to the point.



be careful of a few things
1. repetitiveness (ex. you use as an example driving your parents to the doctors twice)
2. errors in word usage and grammer (Ex. engulf is not what you mean unless you are a river or something lol)
3. make sure the ps is a progression. pretend its not a story but a persuasive argument. make an outline of what you are saying in each paragraph and then put an asterisk next to each and denote how that paragraph makes a point about how you are an interesting/unique good person that will add to the law school environment

really good direction though! i like it!

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sarlis
Posts: 692
Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2009 2:30 pm

Re: Diversity Statement Samples

Postby sarlis » Sat Oct 10, 2009 2:03 pm

HuckFinn587 wrote:
Miracle wrote:
brooke wrote:I'm applying for Fall '10. Here is my diversity statement, please state opinions on it honestly! I don't bruise too easily (hopefully not).

Diversity Statement

I played with medicine bottles. Vertically above the microwave rests a cabinet that contained my escape from reality. Everyday, I would push over a kitchen chair, climb on top, open the cabinet, pull out the medicine bottles, and create an entirely new universe. These medicine bottles were figments of nonexistent Barbie dolls, as I would fabricate their luxurious lives in ways I yearned internally. These dolls traveled to eccentric places, engulfed outlandish foods, and lived in homes with heaters and air conditioning. The hours spent tucked away in this internal fantasy served as a means of consolation to my dismal reality. Being born and raised in an impoverished family, my creative juices stretched beyond limitation as I fought to construct the things I desired but was unable to afford.
There is a different sort of treatment toward disabled bodies. My parents faced a verbal disability from not knowing the English language sufficiently enough to jumpstart and engage in lengthy conversations. Because of this, they faced ridicule, maltreatment, and scorn through life. Disabled bodies don’t seem to count. Post surgery, I would drive my mother to her monthly cancer appointments and as was every appointment, the receptionist only looked at me when speaking. She’d ask a question in reference to my mother, and I would turn to her, translate the question, she’d respond back to me in Vietnamese, and then I would relay the American version to the receptionist. The receptionist would look right at me and smile, with a brief cursory glance toward my mom – that was all she was worth to the receptionist, a hasty 2-second glance. From financial disabilities, relying on food stamps and housing, to social disabilities, not knowing a sufficient amount of English and being Asian immigrants, my parent didn’t seem to count in this nation.

I became the adult: the one who reasoned with housing agents, the one to discuss problems with handymen who came to fix our sinks, the one who drove my parents to doctor appointments, who answered the probing questions from doctors, and the one who showed my parents where to sign on the forms.

The forced immigration from Vietnam, the invasion of the communists, and the lost of familiarity, family, and home was reasoned with a ‘promised future’ for their children. My parents fled in order to bring forth a better tomorrow for their children: my two siblings and I. They gave it all up in order to provide for us a future. This is why disabled bodies should count. There is a story behind every disability, resulting in a greater understanding and appreciation that follow suit once disclosed. Their selfless sacrifice pales in comparison to any trivial problems I face, as I constantly remind myself that if my parents were able to come into a foreign land with no money or knowledge of the English language and provide a home and food for my family, any strife I encounter is nothing compared to their own. No matter how dire the situation, I must succeed.


You are an excellent writer however, now that I read it for the first time, I feel like something is missing; it comes across as if you took a big chunk out just to make it short and to the point.



be careful of a few things
1. repetitiveness (ex. you use as an example driving your parents to the doctors twice)
2. errors in word usage and grammer (Ex. engulf is not what you mean unless you are a river or something lol)
3. make sure the ps is a progression. pretend its not a story but a persuasive argument. make an outline of what you are saying in each paragraph and then put an asterisk next to each and denote how that paragraph makes a point about how you are an interesting/unique good person that will add to the law school environment

really good direction though! i like it!


this is an amazing story, but the way it is written, it is hard to follow. I was expecting, after reading the part about medicine abuse, to hear something about how you overcame that, but then the scope shifts to other things. It seems a bit disjointed, you never really return to the medicine, which I think is a compelling story. I see that you have many things to say in this DS, but each segment doesn't fit with the other, and the story is not coherent. I agree with Huck's third point, it needs to be a story, something that reads smoothly. That said, you have a lot to write about, which for some people is half the battle lol

Oban
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Re: Diversity Statement Samples

Postby Oban » Sun Oct 11, 2009 6:22 pm

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Last edited by Oban on Thu Oct 15, 2009 4:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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s0ph1e2007
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Re: Diversity Statement Samples

Postby s0ph1e2007 » Sun Oct 11, 2009 10:19 pm

Is a Diversity Statement just a type of PS?

MS.LEGALBRIEFS
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Re: Diversity Statement Samples

Postby MS.LEGALBRIEFS » Fri Nov 06, 2009 2:38 pm

I can still smell the filth of poverty, drugs and dead bodies. I still remember seeing an elderly dead lady in the canal ditch on my way to school as I pushed past prostitutes, drug addicts and dealers. I would pass the pregnant teenage mothers pushing strollers prowling the morning hour in search for their next fix. I remember stepping over the homeless guy that slept on my porch. I walked half a mile to school each day. My shoes were held together by hair bands. I hid my feet underneath my book bag while I ducked in a corner: quiet, hoping tattered shoes didn’t draw more attention to clothes that were too big and too old. I once remember watching my mother open the refrigerator and began to cry. Some of the time I even witnessed the drug dealing and violence; I saw a man shot down in the street. The look of death came over him as he collapsed after his last breath. People crowded around him and watched him die while they waited for the ambulance to peel him off the street.
Despite my hardships, attending __________ State University has convinced me that I am somebody and not a statistic. I am the first in my extended and immediate family to go to college. I graduated from high school with less than a 2.0 GPA. However, I have managed to earn and maintain a “B” average throughout my entire collegiate career. I was forced under the impression that being black carried with it negative connotations and consequences. I was never made to feel that being a minority was a good thing. Along the way, there were a few people who helped me believe that black people were capable of being human and successful. My pastor helped me to realize that my future was based on my actions and not the excuses I made. Being a kid from the projects was a sad beginning, but turned out to be a motivation within itself.
I’ve always wished that I could be a lawyer so justice might be done. I want to defend the defenseless, and indict the corrupt and the abusive people who flouted the law and ignored justice. In preparation for a legal career, I obtained two internships and decided to become a member of the Political Science Coalition. I interned for Attorney ________ at the ________________ and for Louisiana Representative _______, Jr. at ________Office. In order to set myself apart from my counterparts, I have acquired skill and dialogue in several foreign languages such as Arabic, Spanish and some Japanese. With accelerating globalization, I feel that familiarity with foreign languages will enhance my qualifications for a position conducting international affairs.
Growing up the way I have has taught me to be a realist while employing critical and analytical skills. I’ve gathered a wealth of my awareness by surviving in the core of reality. My life experiences made me human: I understand real world issues as they affect those not born into affluence. I feel that my experiences have equipped me with the ability to sympathize with the common person: to know what their issues are and to fight for their rights.
Generally, I want to attend law school so that I may become conversant in legal training and become prepared for a career that will help to further the path of justice for those who aren’t able to defend themselves. I chose to apply to _________ law school because its entire existence is founded upon values that I hold most dear: an appreciation for the ideals of justice, sovereignty, democracy, humane treatment of all people and the promotion of spiritual self and community; the social climate, the diverse student population, the student to teacher ratio and its southern surroundings seamlessly conform to what I look for in a law school.
I am not held back by stereotypes. I no longer define myself by misfortune and no longer am I defined by some set rule of blackness. I am an African American girl who likes alternative Rock music, neo- classical music, particularly symphony No. 5. I am not understood by my father. He believes women are to be controlled and submissive and are suppose to be victims. He doesn’t understand my hunger for education. He doesn’t understand why I went to college. He was the same one who left my mother to raise me by herself. I sent him an invitation to my college graduation anyways. I am not understood by most people who wonder why I talk the way that I do and why I listen to certain genres of music. I laugh at their disapproval or the fact that they think watching something other than Black Entertainment Television makes me “white” because they don’t understand it. A lot of people want to see my dreams fail. A lot of people want to see me become a statistic, but I say “NO WAY.” A few more degrees will suffice.

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PoorOrpheus
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Re: Diversity Statement Samples

Postby PoorOrpheus » Fri Nov 06, 2009 7:29 pm

MS.LEGALBRIEFS wrote:I can still smell the filth of poverty, drugs and dead bodies. I still remember seeing an elderly dead lady in the canal ditch on my way to school as I pushed past prostitutes, drug addicts and dealers. I would pass the pregnant teenage mothers pushing strollers prowling the morning hour in search for their next fix. I remember stepping over the homeless guy that slept on my porch. I walked half a mile to school each day. My shoes were held together by hair bands. I hid my feet underneath my book bag while I ducked in a corner: quiet, hoping tattered shoes didn’t draw more attention to clothes that were too big and too old. I once remember watching my mother open the refrigerator and began to cry. Some of the time I even witnessed the drug dealing and violence; I saw a man shot down in the street. The look of death came over him as he collapsed after his last breath. People crowded around him and watched him die while they waited for the ambulance to peel him off the street.
Despite my hardships, attending __________ State University has convinced me that I am somebody and not a statistic. I am the first in my extended and immediate family to go to college. I graduated from high school with less than a 2.0 GPA. However, I have managed to earn and maintain a “B” average throughout my entire collegiate career. I was forced under the impression that being black carried with it negative connotations and consequences. I was never made to feel that being a minority was a good thing. Along the way, there were a few people who helped me believe that black people were capable of being human and successful. My pastor helped me to realize that my future was based on my actions and not the excuses I made. Being a kid from the projects was a sad beginning, but turned out to be a motivation within itself.
I’ve always wished that I could be a lawyer so justice might be done. I want to defend the defenseless, and indict the corrupt and the abusive people who flouted the law and ignored justice. In preparation for a legal career, I obtained two internships and decided to become a member of the Political Science Coalition. I interned for Attorney ________ at the ________________ and for Louisiana Representative _______, Jr. at ________Office. In order to set myself apart from my counterparts, I have acquired skill and dialogue in several foreign languages such as Arabic, Spanish and some Japanese. With accelerating globalization, I feel that familiarity with foreign languages will enhance my qualifications for a position conducting international affairs.
Growing up the way I have has taught me to be a realist while employing critical and analytical skills. I’ve gathered a wealth of my awareness by surviving in the core of reality. My life experiences made me human: I understand real world issues as they affect those not born into affluence. I feel that my experiences have equipped me with the ability to sympathize with the common person: to know what their issues are and to fight for their rights.
Generally, I want to attend law school so that I may become conversant in legal training and become prepared for a career that will help to further the path of justice for those who aren’t able to defend themselves. I chose to apply to _________ law school because its entire existence is founded upon values that I hold most dear: an appreciation for the ideals of justice, sovereignty, democracy, humane treatment of all people and the promotion of spiritual self and community; the social climate, the diverse student population, the student to teacher ratio and its southern surroundings seamlessly conform to what I look for in a law school.
I am not held back by stereotypes. I no longer define myself by misfortune and no longer am I defined by some set rule of blackness. I am an African American girl who likes alternative Rock music, neo- classical music, particularly symphony No. 5. I am not understood by my father. He believes women are to be controlled and submissive and are suppose to be victims. He doesn’t understand my hunger for education. He doesn’t understand why I went to college. He was the same one who left my mother to raise me by herself. I sent him an invitation to my college graduation anyways. I am not understood by most people who wonder why I talk the way that I do and why I listen to certain genres of music. I laugh at their disapproval or the fact that they think watching something other than Black Entertainment Television makes me “white” because they don’t understand it. A lot of people want to see my dreams fail. A lot of people want to see me become a statistic, but I say “NO WAY.” A few more degrees will suffice.


:| I would not use any of this. There's no sophistication and the last paragraph reads like a poorly-written journal entry. Tone down the shock value, the daddy issues, etc. It looks like you have a story to tell, but I don't think this is the way.

rexroman3
Posts: 8
Joined: Sun Aug 16, 2009 3:54 pm

any feedback greatly appreciated-Re: Diversity Statement Sam

Postby rexroman3 » Sun Nov 08, 2009 1:58 pm

DS and then PS .. thanks for taking the time to read and give feedback...

There were no lawyers, doctors, nurses, judges, police officers or politicians in my family when I was growing up. Instead there were ex convicts, murderers, drug addicts, manic depressants, alcoholics, life long welfare recipients, child abusers, and domestic violence victims. There was no stability, kindness, support, understanding or emotional nourishment during my childhood that contributed to the thought of a successful, rewarding future. Instead there was the violence of a drug addicted, child molesting, convicted felon father and the experience of bullet ridden, knife stabbing, drug dealing, gang infested neighborhoods. Regardless of what makes up my past I was able to use what was there and what was not there to motivate, direct and ensure my life did not end up as another dismal statistic. I am a firm believer that the facts of your past, no matter how tragic, must serve as a motivator to propel you into a success future.

I used the fact that I was homeless twice, as a motivator to value what I create emotionally, spiritually, and mentally as apposed to materialistic items found in life.

I used the fact that CBS made a made for television movie about my families homeless journey as a reminder that everyone must hear how shelters run by religious organization like the one that helped my family get off the streets, do and can make a difference in society long after the initially help is given. ( HOME SWEET HOMELESS CBS school break special Roxanne Captor/Producer/1989)

I used the fact that I witnessed my aunt nearly decapitated with the swing of a machete by her ex husband as a motivator to denounce all forms of violence against women.

I used the fact that my father would beat me (with belts, fists, golf clubs, 2X4's), molest me, use drugs and alcohol in my presence(heroin, cocaine, PCP, marijuana, and acid) , to develop an unyielding zero tolerance policy with drugs, child abuse, and sexual assault.

I used the fact that I moved 5 times in the 6th grade which caused me to go from honors and gifted classes to remedial coursework as a plea to all parents to provide stability for their children during all stages of their school experience.

I used the fact that my family would get groceries from food banks as the fuel for my love of sharing and providing food to all those who come to my house or are in need of a good meal.

All the facts of my past were used to move on. To move on to serve successfully in the United States Army and receive an Honorable Discharge. To move on and maintain exciting and experience-rich employment my entire life. To move on to be the second person from my childhood to graduate from High School, first to earn a four year degree, and first to earn a graduate degree. To move on to use my diverse ethnic and socioeconomic background to disseminate the proof and the idea that successful in life is possible for anyone, from any situation, at every stage of life.

The facts of my past and the forward movement towards success in the present makes me a determined, strong, patient, influencing, and passionate law school candidate that will use the past to inject insight, perspective, and challenge during my journey of obtaining a law degree.


PERSONAL STATEMENT BELOW ... I THINK HEHEHEHEH


At eighteen I decided that the only way take my life in a new and exciting direction was to join the United States Army Medical Corp as a Medic. This was one of the best decisions I have ever made that continues to provide my life with awesome benefits and provided irreplaceable learning opportunities. The Army taught me discipline, control, restraint, respect, and appreciation for understanding and overcoming obstacles. Combined with the personal obstacles I dealt with as a child, the Army armed me with the ability to find solutions to most challenges and problems. Learning and understanding Army regulations, rules, and standards allowed me to focus on details and specifics that would seem overwhelming for most people. Adding to the mental challenges of military service were the physical demands I endured from rigorous training on weapons, war training, and field maneuvers, the service was not an easy journey. These physical and mental extremes created an ability for me to learn and practice setting aside all distractions to get the job done.
Shortly after leaving the service I began an interesting path of rewarding career opportunities in all areas of the business world. My bilingual skills afforded me the opportunity to work for a local phone company as a Spanish speaking agent. Not knowing how I was going to improve upon my life I decided to start attending community college while working for the phone company. Wanting more and needing more I decided to try my hand at many career paths after the phone company. I worked to get certified as a dog trainer, certified as a personal trainer, and did rather well in both areas. But even with this success I wanted more.
Wanting to do more, specifically more for the betterment of society I decided to move to Nashville, Tennessee and co-found a music education company for children and parents together. This company focused on exposing children and parents to cultures from around the world through interactive, collaborate, and hands on music activities and exploration. After performing at the Ryman Auditorium, the iconic playhouse of country music, and providing music education to children whose parents included Clint Black, Leanne Womack, The Frist Family, and many other upper echelon Nashville residents, I decided it was time to focus on older children.
I found a troubled teen youth center that focused on teenagers that needed a person with a military background. This was a perfect fit in with my desires to help older children. I was able to use the wisdom, insight and perspective I gained from my past to bridge the gap between the teenagers, their parents, and their counselors. To this day I remain in close contact with many of the teenagers that I worked with as I believe that long term support and relationships are extremely important to ensure success.
As if the military travels I was able to enjoy, like living in Korea for year, were not enough, I decided that it was time to do more traveling around the world and do more with my technological talents. With my bilingual abilities, military honors, teaching passion, computer expertise, I secured a job traveling around the world again but this time opening hotels and lodging facilities as an IT installation and training specialist. These travels once again exposed me to the societies, cultures, and people around the country and globe, but this time outside the constraints of a uniform and military base. In other words, I was able to blend in and be part of the civilian world which is much different than the walls created from wearing a United States military uniform in another country.
While doing all of the aforementioned I managed to earn a four year degree and graduate degree. This accomplishment is satisfying, but with my first niece on the way this year I want to set the standard even higher with an additional educational goals and social accomplishments.
At this stage in my life the realization that I must do more to give back, serve as an example, and create societal changes keeps gnawing at my consciousness. Though throughout my life I used the sharing of my experiences to create positive outcomes from my past I know now that it is time to do more than sharing. It is time to give a voice to those who do not know they have one. This voice comes in terms of rights, laws, and representation in legal matters regardless of age, gender, race, national original or financial worth. A legal education is going to provide me with an additional set of talents that will arm me for the next challenge in my life. That challenge to be part of the solution in giving equal representation and access to the underrepresented people of our society in terms of the legal system of the United States of America as well as continue to serve as an example to all disadvantaged people that anything is possible regardless of the past.
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SanBun
Posts: 560
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Re: Diversity Statement Samples

Postby SanBun » Fri Nov 13, 2009 3:25 am

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Last edited by SanBun on Thu Nov 19, 2009 7:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

kevin261186
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Re: Diversity Statement Samples

Postby kevin261186 » Mon Nov 16, 2009 3:15 pm

When I was born in Aberdeen, Scotland there was no hint that I had any abnormalities. But as I grew older it became apparent that my vision was not as it should be. By the age of two doctors had diagnosed a rare, irreversible condition, whereby the retina of my right eye had not connected to the eyeball, leaving me completely blind in that eye. This was of huge concern to my parents, who were worried this would impact upon my abilities to perform every day tasks, and obviously the strain this would place on the one remaining ‘good eye’.

As I grew older I adapted; the taunts from my brothers (my favorite likening me to 'Cyclops') gradually ceased, and although the lack of depth perception remained I became competent in at least a dozen sports while remaining dedicated to academic achievement. Both of which were primarily encouraged by my mother, a lifelong P.E. teacher. Sports stuck with me as the backbone of my extra-curricular life until my final year of high school when I put myself through the rigors or peer and teacher review and was named ‘head prefect’ (equivalent to class president) of the school, an accolade I had only dreamed of.

After I left school I kept up with sports and education, conquering my affliction to play middle hitter all four years for my University’s men’s volleyball team (captaining the team in the 2008 season), maintaining a single figure golf handicap, and playing soccer every weekend. At this time I was also attaining the most competitive degree (in terms of admissions) at the most competitive university in Scotland. This pursuit of attainment was my personal backlash to the disadvantage with which I was born, and it will continue to characterize my personal goals and achievements in my future years.

I maintain the attitude that I am only as disabled as I allow myself to be, and although I have learned to live with my disability it will always be there. This is a fact that I have accepted; but the possibility that it could hold me back from pursuing my dreams, I have never, and will never accept.

Lucylwyr
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2009 4:46 pm

Re: Diversity Statement Samples

Postby Lucylwyr » Sun Nov 22, 2009 1:33 am

kevin261186 wrote:When I was born in Aberdeen, Scotland there was no hint that I had any abnormalities. But as I grew older it became apparent that my vision was not as it should be. By the age of two doctors had diagnosed a rare, irreversible condition, whereby the retina of my right eye had not connected to the eyeball, leaving me completely blind in that eye. This was of huge concern to my parents, who were worried this would impact upon my abilities to perform every day tasks, and obviously the strain this would place on the one remaining ‘good eye’.

As I grew older I adapted; the taunts from my brothers (my favorite likening me to 'Cyclops') gradually ceased, and although the lack of depth perception remained I became competent in at least a dozen sports while remaining dedicated to academic achievement. Both of which were primarily encouraged by my mother, a lifelong P.E. teacher. Sports stuck with me as the backbone of my extra-curricular life until my final year of high school when I put myself through the rigors or peer and teacher review and was named ‘head prefect’ (equivalent to class president) of the school, an accolade I had only dreamed of.

After I left school I kept up with sports and education, conquering my affliction to play middle hitter all four years for my University’s men’s volleyball team (captaining the team in the 2008 season), maintaining a single figure golf handicap, and playing soccer every weekend. At this time I was also attaining the most competitive degree (in terms of admissions) at the most competitive university in Scotland. This pursuit of attainment was my personal backlash to the disadvantage with which I was born, and it will continue to characterize my personal goals and achievements in my future years.

I maintain the attitude that I am only as disabled as I allow myself to be, and although I have learned to live with my disability it will always be there. This is a fact that I have accepted; but the possibility that it could hold me back from pursuing my dreams, I have never, and will never accept.


This is a great DS, your last paragraph is quite powerful, good job!




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