DS VERY ROUGH DRAFT

(BLS, URM status, non-traditional, GLBT)
wannabeprincess
Posts: 33
Joined: Sun Sep 18, 2011 7:57 pm

DS VERY ROUGH DRAFT

Postby wannabeprincess » Sat Oct 22, 2011 4:06 pm

Hey everyone...I'm lurked around these forums for a while but not posted much. Wanted to get some feedback on the extremely rough draft of my DS. Feedback is appreciated as I feel this is so crappy and can't seem to get my words out very well for this DS. Thanks in advance!


“You aren’t from around here are you son?” These words were my father’s introduction to mother’s small corner of the world. Her world in Galena, Missouri was filled with white skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes. The darker, olive skin of my father paired with his near coal black hair and deep brown eyes just didn’t match up with what was known by the family and friends in my mother’s world. Mexican, Puerto Rican, Half Black, Spanish, Italian, Indian, and Native American were all among the guesses regarding my father’s ethnicity. In this part of the world, it didn’t matter that my own mother was part Native American because here what counted was what could be seen. No one laughed about skin or made racial jokes toward her. The fact of the matter was that, although the blood of the Chippewa and Choctaw Indian Tribes run just as prominently through my mother as the Cherokee Indian blood runs through my father, my mother looked like her Irish descendent father. White skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes.

Roughly four years after the small town of Galena first questioned my father about his ethnicity, I came along. Just like my mother, I looked like my father. Dark skin, black hair, and dark brown eyes. Class pictures look like an example of the game, “Which of these does not belong?” My parents and grandparents always encouraged me to never see myself as a race or ethnicity but instead to become my own well-rounded person who was blind to skin color. My parents instilled in me both a sense of self-respect and respect for others. The one thing, however, that my parents could never instill in me was a sense of my history. That history had long ago been lost.

Decades ago both my father’s family and my mother’s family had left the reservation areas in Oklahoma and Kansas to move to Missouri. It was explained to me that the years that followed were ones of feeling shame in being a Native American. Native Americans in the 19th and early 20th century were seen as uncivilized and violent. My great-aunt explained to me that my great-grandparents wanted no one to know that they were Choctaw Indians. Abandoned were the sacred rituals and spiritual beliefs that had been so dear to my family. Both sides of my ancestry destroyed all documents regarding their lineage and rarely spoke again of our family history. In an effort to understand the Native American blood that courses through me, I spent many days researching governmental archives to find my ancestors on original tribal rolls. I invested time educating myself about my ancestor’s traditions, beliefs, and customs. I cried tears of loss when reading about the struggles of my ancestors whose land and homes were taken. During my research, I learned about the other parts of my family that left war-torn Germany to immigrate to the American land of opportunity and the ancestors who left Ireland to begin a new life in American. In essence, I found the part of my history that was missing.

Learning about those who paved the way for me gave me a history that allowed me to embrace my future. While a small part of my heart will always be in that whitewashed town in rural Missouri, I have filled my life with as many experiences as possible. I have lived and worked in Washington D.C. where diversity is an understatement. I have traveled to Western Europe and have seen the countries that are part of my family’s history. While the rest of the nation was engrossed in the Bush vs. Kerry race during 2004, I embraced an internship at Walt Disney World where I lived with young women from Jamaica, Chicago, Boston, and Nashville. During 2006 and 2007, I spent my days and nights doing political canvassing in inner-city Philadelphia, where stories from those I met made me appreciate my own upbringing and inspired me to do more to change the world for the better. These journeys and experiences only enrich the blood of my ancestors that run throughout my body. Today, I proudly embrace who I am as part Native American, part German, and part Irish, while fully understanding that my history is just that…history. My future will be defined by myself and my own experiences. The diversity of my life’s journey will bring a unique perspective to the University of XXX, further enriching the Law School’s already diverse student population.

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Bodhi_mind
Posts: 215
Joined: Tue Aug 09, 2011 12:16 pm

Re: DS VERY ROUGH DRAFT

Postby Bodhi_mind » Mon Oct 24, 2011 2:13 pm

I like it! You have a good writing style, and I feel like you're a cool person. A couple grammar/style suggestions: use "emigrate" instead of "immigrate" at the end of P3--they left Germany. And I don't care much for the phrasing "Washington D.C. where diversity is an understatement". It doesn't make much sense. I would say something like "experiencing the diversity of our nation's capital". Nicely done, good luck. What are your numbers??

wannabeprincess
Posts: 33
Joined: Sun Sep 18, 2011 7:57 pm

Re: DS VERY ROUGH DRAFT

Postby wannabeprincess » Mon Oct 24, 2011 3:00 pm

Bodhi_mind wrote:I like it! You have a good writing style, and I feel like you're a cool person. A couple grammar/style suggestions: use "emigrate" instead of "immigrate" at the end of P3--they left Germany. And I don't care much for the phrasing "Washington D.C. where diversity is an understatement". It doesn't make much sense. I would say something like "experiencing the diversity of our nation's capital". Nicely done, good luck. What are your numbers??


Thanks for the pointers and help! Numbers are a 2.6 and 165. The 2.6 is due to a horrible two years of illness, took a total of 5 years off where I focused on getting healthy and also got some amazing work experience. My graduating institution GPA upon returning to school was a 3.93 and I'll graduate this spring with my masters and 4.0. Retook the LSAT in October to hopefully boost my LSAT score a few more points and hopefully break the 170 mark! Currently refreshing like crazy on the LSAC page awaiting my score....ugh!!!!




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