Help with my Diversity Statement Forum

[onthecusp]

I've been avoiding writing this, wishing my achievements to stand on their own in my application, but why not. Any constructive criticism would be extremely helpful. Thank you.

College was a novel concept for me. My parents never graduated high school, my father dropping out after the 10th grade, along with my mother after becoming pregnant at 16. There was no hope of any academic pursuits for either. It’s not that they weren’t capable; money and avoiding homelessness became the chief concern of our small unit. Growing up Mexican American, there has never been a strong inclination to excel in academics; it was simply never a realistic prospect for any of us. Anybody who sought this in my family would have to be a person willing to stand opposed to the truth of inevitability. My mother eventually would earn a GED, but she never entertained any thoughts of excelling beyond that academically.

My parents divorced when I was three years old. My mother and I moved on to live with my grandmother, hoping to garner some protection from my father who had become abusive, being absorbed into a gang lifestyle of drugs and alcohol. For some time our lifestyle remained nomadic with our inability to lay down roots anywhere absent of chaos. My mother’s relationship with her mom remained strained, due to the inevitable disappointments of her life decisions. We did the best we could with what we had. My mother supported us through the Los Angeles County welfare program, along with a small job working at “Smart and Final”.

Eventually, my mother would move us in with her boyfriend at the time, in the hopes that he could provide us with a form of financial stability. Things were ok for awhile until he turned abusive towards all of us. He would physically and verbally abuse my mother, along with all of her children including myself. It wasn’t until allegations of child molestation emerged from my little sister before we decided to leave for good, moving back with my grandmother, and great grandmother.

I am far removed from the desperation that plagued my childhood; I have come to respect my past as a necessary variable shaping the man I have become. I am a man ready to stand opposed in the face of inevitability; grasping fully the opportunities set before me. The opportunity to attend law school is one not available to the majority of those from my background; and it is one that I embrace, ready to make the most of my good fortune.

[JAP1985]

hmm...strong conclusion but it's a bit too focused on your mom.