CHECK OUT A URM STATEMENT

(BLS, URM status, non-traditional, GLBT)
MS.LEGALBRIEFS
Posts: 14
Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2009 1:50 pm

CHECK OUT A URM STATEMENT

Postby MS.LEGALBRIEFS » Thu Dec 31, 2009 1:36 am

Personal Statement of _____________
During my undergraduate years at ____________State University, I spent my junior and senior year becoming cultured in colloquial Arabic. After several months of being inundated with the Arabic script, I longed for an easy read in English. My student worker position in the library helped me to fulfill my break from reading the dotted alphabets to scrolling shelves filled with English titled books and journals. Out jutted a hard red book entitled the Internal Relations and Organizations. At first, my eyes found relief from the Arabic alphabet in the English words. After using the sentences to refresh my eyes, I found that the literature was of some interesting content.
To my surprise, I found that the subject matter was captivating and this single book reconciled my studies in Political Science with cases I hoped to argue in the marbled courtrooms. For example, the book pointed to the positions of countries in times of wars and ally powers and how third party members or diplomats would intervene as a arbitrators. After reading the 13th chapter of this book, I found that some diplomats were American and as diplomats, were often required to speak in the language of the inhabitants, and one often used language was Arabic. Some of the issues were ones that could have been solved with a single map, but without a diplomat, Iraq and Iran would continue to fight over boundaries that belonged to neither of them. I found that the issues I wanted to change were ones that were right here in America but even more so, those of foreign countries. Thus began the transformation of a naïve Political Science Pre-Law major into an avid follower of socio-political issues.
During my senior year, my desire for the political world and the implementation of policy began my resolve to learn more languages, such as Japanese and Spanish. My internship with Attorney and Louisiana State Representative Richard J. Gallot, Jr helped me to envision a career as a politician and attorney. This position united undeviating practice with exposure to public policy and law by giving me hands on experience answering calls from various state representatives and creating files for clients.
This semester, I have independently engaged myself in the studies of comparative governments, constitutional law and public policy. I found that being from the ghetto gave me perspective, that I am now able to mesh with my studies. I also found that the influx of homelessness among African American citizens correlated with the drug addiction and a lack of education and contributed in some, to the soaring rate of HIV and AIDs infected people.
I longed to see made right the things that trumped the growth of my community and what better way to change than to start with ones self. I am an African American woman from the Ghetto and I am the first in my family to go to college. I woke every morning to the filthy smell of drugs and disease reared in a single parented rickety old house. I remember as a child sticking my hand through a hole in the floor boards and touching the cool soil. I found solace in imagination; I had become my temporary escape from poverty and would become the motivation to better myself.
I trust that my life illustrates a selfless duty to community by first educating myself and by dedicating the next few years of my life to learning the law and working to make society a safer place. It just so happens, however, that my duty to the community has fortified my resolve to study law at ____________Law Center because, which is in my opinion, a premier institution. The diverse student population, the excellent teacher to student ratio and the southern ambiance all conform to what I look for in a law school. I believe legal training will afford me the opportunity to place a mere theory into fruition; implementing a safer society by applying legal training, perspective, experience and compassion.

Thanking You for Your Consideration

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LAWLAW09
Posts: 303
Joined: Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:09 am

Re: CHECK OUT A URM STATEMENT

Postby LAWLAW09 » Thu Dec 31, 2009 3:30 am

"I found that being from the ghetto gave me perspective..."

what is your definition of ghetto?

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LAWLAW09
Posts: 303
Joined: Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:09 am

Re: CHECK OUT A URM STATEMENT

Postby LAWLAW09 » Thu Dec 31, 2009 3:41 am

i ask only b/c "ghetto" has many meanings to many ppl. whatever your definition of ghetto is, you are probably better off describing the environment, than you are by summing it up in one word. just in case you go into detail about your environment in another statement, i would still substitute ghetto" for something else.


i wish you the best.

MS.LEGALBRIEFS
Posts: 14
Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2009 1:50 pm

Re: CHECK OUT A URM STATEMENT

Postby MS.LEGALBRIEFS » Sat Jan 02, 2010 12:03 am

besides that.. good or bad?

thegor1987
Posts: 323
Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2009 7:00 pm

Re: CHECK OUT A URM STATEMENT

Postby thegor1987 » Sat Jan 02, 2010 12:09 am

isn't Georgetown the only Law School dubbed 'Law Center'?

thegor1987
Posts: 323
Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2009 7:00 pm

Re: CHECK OUT A URM STATEMENT

Postby thegor1987 » Sat Jan 02, 2010 12:12 am

"I woke every morning to the filthy smell of drugs and disease reared in a single parented rickety old house."

maybe reword this?

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Vincent Vega
Posts: 1182
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2009 11:36 pm

Re: CHECK OUT A URM STATEMENT

Postby Vincent Vega » Sat Jan 02, 2010 12:13 am

Slapping in a school-based conclusion always comes off disingenuous to me. If you want to write a school-specific PS, do it, but don't just put in a sentence about a school. They will realize immediately that you are doing this for each school you apply to.

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DavidYurman85
Posts: 242
Joined: Fri Mar 13, 2009 10:55 am

Re: CHECK OUT A URM STATEMENT

Postby DavidYurman85 » Sat Jan 02, 2010 12:41 am

-It seems like the statement actually begins in the fifth paragraph.
-Some statements seem a tadbit superflous.
-Work on better connecting/transitioning your ideas.
-I agree w/ everyone else on using the word ghetto.

FuturehoyaLawya
Posts: 62
Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 11:10 am

Re: CHECK OUT A URM STATEMENT

Postby FuturehoyaLawya » Sat Jan 02, 2010 12:41 am

MS.LEGALBRIEFS wrote:Personal Statement of _____________
During my undergraduate years at ____________State University, I spent my junior and senior year becoming cultured in colloquial Arabic. After several months of being inundated with the Arabic script, I longed for an easy read in English. My student worker position in the library helped me to fulfill my break from reading the dotted alphabets to scrolling shelves filled with English titled books and journals. Out jutted a hard red book entitled the Internal Relations and Organizations. At first, my eyes found relief from the Arabic alphabet in the English words. After using the sentences to refresh my eyes, I found that the literature was of some interesting content.
To my surprise, I found that the subject matter was captivating and this single book reconciled my studies in Political Science with cases I hoped to argue in the marbled courtrooms. For example, the book pointed to the positions of countries in times of wars and ally powers and how third party members or diplomats would intervene as a arbitrators. After reading the 13th chapter of this book, I found that some diplomats were American and as diplomats, were often required to speak in the language of the inhabitants, and one often used language was Arabic. Some of the issues were ones that could have been solved with a single map, but without a diplomat, Iraq and Iran would continue to fight over boundaries that belonged to neither of them. I found that the issues I wanted to change were ones that were right here in America but even more so, those of foreign countries. Thus began the transformation of a naïve Political Science Pre-Law major into an avid follower of socio-political issues.
During my senior year, my desire for the political world and the implementation of policy began my resolve to learn more languages, such as Japanese and Spanish. My internship with Attorney and Louisiana State Representative Richard J. Gallot, Jr helped me to envision a career as a politician and attorney. This position united undeviating practice with exposure to public policy and law by giving me hands on experience answering calls from various state representatives and creating files for clients.
This semester, I have independently engaged myself in the studies of comparative governments, constitutional law and public policy. I found that being from the ghetto gave me perspective, that I am now able to mesh with my studies. I also found that the influx of homelessness among African American citizens correlated with the drug addiction and a lack of education and contributed in some, to the soaring rate of HIV and AIDs infected people.
I longed to see made right the things that trumped the growth of my community and what better way to change than to start with ones self. I am an African American woman from the Ghetto and I am the first in my family to go to college. I woke every morning to the filthy smell of drugs and disease reared in a single parented rickety old house. I remember as a child sticking my hand through a hole in the floor boards and touching the cool soil. I found solace in imagination; I had become my temporary escape from poverty and would become the motivation to better myself.
I trust that my life illustrates a selfless duty to community by first educating myself and by dedicating the next few years of my life to learning the law and working to make society a safer place. It just so happens, however, that my duty to the community has fortified my resolve to study law at ____________Law Center because, which is in my opinion, a premier institution. The diverse student population, the excellent teacher to student ratio and the southern ambiance all conform to what I look for in a law school. I believe legal training will afford me the opportunity to place a mere theory into fruition; implementing a safer society by applying legal training, perspective, experience and compassion.

Thanking You for Your Consideration

This isn't really good. No theme. No purpose. Based on a quick read, I learned that you were a African-American woman from the ghetto that learned a few languages.....that studied various subjects, and oh you want to go to "____" law center. And you said your from the ghetto, what does that mean? Not good at all. You need a theme. Read some of the model essays here on this site, and then read yours again. You will notice that your personal statement is definitely lacking in many areas. As a an African-American woman from the ghetto (that word again, and its not capitalize by the way), your personal statement needs to be flawless. Good luck!

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Kohinoor
Posts: 2756
Joined: Sat Oct 25, 2008 5:51 pm

Re: CHECK OUT A URM STATEMENT

Postby Kohinoor » Sat Jan 02, 2010 12:51 am

You appear to have the intros for 3 very different personal statements.

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Vincent Vega
Posts: 1182
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2009 11:36 pm

Re: CHECK OUT A URM STATEMENT

Postby Vincent Vega » Sat Jan 02, 2010 12:57 am

I suggest you work with a writing tutor or pre-law adviser or writing service of some kind. This PS is just scattered and lackluster.




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