I woke up from a dream to a bright light filling my room. A figure appeared out of the light and moved towards me it asked –





I replied, “how many do I get – three?”



The kitten fairy – for this was what she was – said, “that depends on how good your first wish is.”



I thought carefully and finally said, “I wish to understand cats.”


“Hmmm,” she paused, “this is not an easy wish, are you sure you do not want something else, mice, rats, or wait you could have" – and another cat appeared and said –





“No,” I said quickly, “that’s ok. Is my first wish that difficult?”


“Well, not for me, but it may be difficult for you. You see you’d have to become a cat to truly understand cat kind. It has only been done a couple of times, and those who have done it have chosen to stay cats.”



“As wonderful as that would be, I’d rather stay a human. Could you instead tell me how it is that you have magical powers?”



She giggled, “that’s easy all cats have magical powers.”



“Then why do they allow such indignities to be inflicted upon themselves?”






“To explain I will have you take a little trip with me.”



First she showed me this scene –








Confused I asked her, “what is worse to cats than captivity?”




“Oh, we are not captives, you are.”



“What?! “



“Oh yes, it’s true.”



“Who are our captors?”



“I am not permitted to tell you that, but I can tell you we stay for your own good. We would not suffer these indignities for nothing.”






“Staying with humans has its perks as well though.”








“We enjoy teasing dogs in our spare time.”






“What can I do? How can humanity free itself,” I sputtered.



“Don’t worry about that in the morning you won’t even remember this conversation. We will leave an agent with you to safeguard you until the ‘TIME.’ Goodnight, goodnight”



As the light faded I fell back asleep. In the morning I found a cat on my pillow, and as I struggled to remember something I thought must be important. I could swear the cat said something.








April Fools Day




Or is it?

This post is about my twins - L to R Lilpogo, Grace, Emigre, and Dat - I'm on the far right.





Lilpogo won my heart with her ridiculously adorably avatar. Here is her avatar with the addition of a cute saying!





She lulls you into a false sense of security with her ridiculous cuteness then defeats you! She is currently employed as a member of Alf14997’s defense team.





Grace first introduced to me the phrase “explode into flowers.” This is as close as I could get in kitten representation.





Even though she has closed her eyes to the world of lawyering she has not deserted us.





Émigré – she is wise and impossibly cute.





Émigré is a caring mother.





Dat is my fashion twin. She has great style!





She is eminently qualified to patrol the fashion world.





Another group picture of us –





Thank you guys -





In conclusion, just because someone is cute that doesn’t mean they’re not dangerous!

Update to Andy post!

AndyRoberts75 is rarely on topic and sometimes disgusting. He shows flashes of brilliance and helpfulness. Being the colorful character that he is makes an excellent subject for friendly, kitty satire.

Andy is in law enforcement. His interrogation skills are legendary.



For all who are new to the forum if you see a post by Andy –



Approximation of a post by Andy -



His wife is an understanding, patient woman, perhaps the most patient woman in the universe. Hopefully he brings her flowers – often.



When trying to digest a long serious thread – often a post from Andy will pop up prompting this response –




To sum up - will someone please -

Uzu is an enigmatic figure in the world of TLS. He is not as crude as AndyRoberts75, as loved as Ken, as easy to understand as DelDad, or endowed with moderator powers like Corsair. He is nonetheless one of the cornerstones of TLS. He has some of the more clever and interesting avatars; unfortunately, he also has some of the scariest. He strikes fear into the hearts of many, but he is also terrified of being on katespade's bad side. The most important thing to remember about Uzu is that "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog."

At times he can be a little bit frightening. The voices instruct him to do who knows what, yet I have my suspicions.



However, his pantsless episodes are far more frightening.



At times he is the cranky oldster letting us young people have it.



More often he invites us into the world of his wisdom.



He is always pwned by the cute kitties.

See above ^

See two above ^

Corsair – Even if you joined yesterday you will have probably come across a post by Corsair. He is a pirate extraordinaire and a powerful moderator.


He is a Pirate





He has Power



Those who hijack threads should be afraid of his claws of fury–



For he can force you to –



Perhaps one day he will work for the US government. Bad guys fear for he will say -

I have to admit this blog is inspired by longodds. I have decided to provide a picture and written description of various TLSers. It seems only fair that I start with longodds. If you want to be included or have suggestions on who I should include (and what information should be provided) please PM me.


Longodds - Longodds is a man of mystery. His many varied occupations include secret agent, author, and model. He is also the resident question guru of TLS. He claims to hate kittens - oh the irony. The rest of his bio could fill a book, but I'm saving that info for blackmail purposes.


Secret Agent -



His Enemy -



Author -



Model -



His Reaction to This Blog -



Longodds Post Cont. -

PS - This may be his cat alter ego

longcat =longodds?