I guess so

Posts: 37
Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2006 2:58 pm

I guess so

Postby niners49 » Thu Mar 08, 2007 3:49 pm

At first, I was a bit hesitant to post a blog on here. I mean, that's what Xanga and Myspace is for. But after a while, why the heck not?

Every day I check the damn mailbox and emails... yet, nothing. It gets discouraging because everybody's got their acceptances, and I'm stuck in a cubicle in a city I don't want to be in.

2 years ago, I decided the best way to stay in San Jose was to leave. Going to San Jose State and barely getting by was not the way to go. It wasn't because of partying (which I did), or relationship problems (which I had): it was because of my parents. I loved living in SJ, but I hated living at home. Living with them was hell. An endless cycle of drama at home, and I was powerless to stop it. I couldn't find a financial situation that would allow me to move out, and I knew my grades weren't going to get me into law school.

I felt trapped. Stuck. "How am I going to get into Santa Clara with these grades?" I wondered.

I realized then that the only way to stay home was to leave.

I found my relatives in SoCal and asked them if I could stay with them until I went to law school. Then I told my parents I was transferring to a better school.

Cal State Long Beach turned out to be my sanctuary. I found a new clarity and focus I never had at my parents' home, where all the drama was. I got grades I knew I was always capable of getting.

And now? Just waiting on getting to hear from Santa Clara.

Life's full of ironies. I never could have guessed that in order to get what I most desired, I would have to sacrifice it.

Posts: 37
Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2006 2:58 pm

Postby niners49 » Thu Mar 08, 2007 5:25 pm

For someone who has posted a lot about his observations and opinions, I guess its time I shared a little about myself.

I was born and raised in the O.C. My dad went off to med school when I was 3, and I lived in some of the dirtiest and ghetto apartments the O.C. had to offer. We were dirt poor, and my mom, grandman, and grandpa had to work whatever jobs they could to put my dad through school and raise me and my sister. I remember nights where a candle would serve as the houselight, and when sandwiches containing butter and sugar were my daily lunch specials. Being one of many dirt poor Vietnamese families on the block, I didn't see anything special in the way we lived. Too me, I had enough: clothes, food, a family, and video games. What else could a kid ask for?

Then came my dad. Having just graduated med school, he decided to make his own practice. He brought me and my mom up to San Jose, where he decided to practice. My sister went off to college in O.C., and my grandma decided to stay with her. How lucky my sister was. I soon found out that living with my parents, something I always dreamed of, was the worst thing that could ever happen.

Being separated from my dad for so long, our relationship began on the wrong foot. He expected much out of me academically. And when I couldn't live up to his standards, it didn't go so well. He was short tempered, and I was stubborn. My mother was always in the middle of things, and it tore me apart to put her in such an awkward position. But at 12, there's not much you can do.

So it went on until I was 20. At the age of 20, I had already been through too much in that house. One more fight triggered a realization that if I moved out of the house, things would get better for all that lived there. And I was right. My dad couldn't take things out on me, my mother didn't have to get tangled in the middle, and I finally broke free of my prison. It was good for all involved.

The one thing that my friends think, especially the ones that know my situation first hand, is that I hate my dad. Quite far from the truth. I respect him and admire him. I hated the things that he did, and I don't ever want to be exactly like him. But over the years, as teen angst fades, I put myself in his shoes. He went to med school in Vietnam, fled from a war-torn country, had to go through med school again in America, and took his family from the gutter to a decent life. It takes a hell of a person to go through something like that. Does it make up for the things that my mother and I went through? No. But like I said, it takes one hell of a person to endure all that.

Posts: 37
Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2006 2:58 pm

Postby niners49 » Fri Apr 06, 2007 12:40 pm

Last edited by niners49 on Wed Jan 07, 2009 10:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Posts: 37
Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2006 2:58 pm

Postby niners49 » Mon Jun 25, 2007 7:24 pm

Well, here I am again, back on this site. Its addicting, I know. Well, its been awhile since I've been a regular, but since I'm back in this cycle again, it makes sense for me to become a regular again.

Didn't get into Santa Clara or USF. Got waitlisted at UOP, but we'll see what comes of it.

So I'm back to studying for the LSAT.


But this time, I have a new focus and energy about me. I feel much more fresh, having had such a long break from school (graduated last summer). Now's my chance to hit that score (unless UoP calls).

So far, so good. Powerscore bibles have landed me in the mid 160's. That's exactly what I need to have a good shot at Santa Clara. But a few personal obstacles have sprung up.

-My whole family is pressuring me to move back home. I refuse to do so. They want me to enroll in a TTT. So much for family support.

-My friends all want me to move back home. I refuse to for now. I know for a fact that I can't concentrate while studying for this test. Until I get into Santa Clara or graduate from law school, I will not move back home.

-I have to endure at least another few lonesome months here in SoCal. I have a great girlfriend, an easy job, and nothing else. Talking to the walls about the LSAT and law schools for another few months drives me crazy.

Despite all of these things that induce panic attacks, only one singular thought drives me, inspires me, to push all of this B.S. to the side:

Law school.

Now I know I can't get into a Stanford. Even if I hit 180, thwarted a terrorist attack, or even reinvented the wheel, they wouldn't even glance at my app.

With my gpa, it'd be difficult to get UCLA to look at my app without snickering.

But I know I don't have to go to a top notch T20 to achieve what I want.

Santa Clara fits my goals perfectly.

If I want to practice in San Jose, that's where I need to go. And ever since I was 16, its been where I wanted to go.

So its time to aim for that 165+.

September 29, anyone?

Return to “TLS Web Logs (Blogs)”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests