Help, deposited but may reapply if money is there

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Metapod
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Help, deposited but may reapply if money is there

Postby Metapod » Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:47 pm

.
Last edited by Metapod on Thu Jul 06, 2017 11:50 am, edited 4 times in total.

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Rigo
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Re: Illinois ($$$) v Fordham ($), Please Help

Postby Rigo » Sun Mar 05, 2017 9:40 pm

Not Fordham.

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Metapod
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Re: Illinois ($$$) v Fordham ($), Please Help

Postby Metapod » Mon Mar 06, 2017 3:35 pm

Rigo wrote:Not Fordham.

Why no to Fordham?

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Rigo
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Re: Illinois ($$$) v Fordham ($), Please Help

Postby Rigo » Mon Mar 06, 2017 3:45 pm

Metapod wrote:
Rigo wrote:Not Fordham.

Why no to Fordham?

Not worth the price/debt.

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nimbus cloud
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Re: Illinois ($$$) v Fordham ($), Please Help

Postby nimbus cloud » Mon Mar 06, 2017 3:47 pm

Metapod wrote:
Rigo wrote:Not Fordham.

Why no to Fordham?


Because you will owe 200k + interest. The majority of the students (more like 2/3) are either unemployed or get jobs that pay 40-70k a year. You won't be able to pay it off.

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zot1
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Re: Facing a hard choice, Please Help

Postby zot1 » Mon Mar 06, 2017 4:02 pm

If you think that by choosing Illinois you'd have to end a four-year relationship and you "don't love the idea" of breaking up, it doesn't sound like you should be making decisions including your SO.

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trmckenz
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Re: Facing a hard choice, Please Help

Postby trmckenz » Mon Mar 06, 2017 4:08 pm

Blaze your own trail at Illinois.

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floatie
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Re: Facing a hard choice, Please Help

Postby floatie » Mon Mar 06, 2017 4:08 pm

Is your SO worth $200k+ in debt that you'll most likely struggle to pay off with the types of jobs you're likely to get coming out of Fordham? If yes, best of luck to you. If not, go to Illinois or sit out a year and retake.

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Metapod
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Re: Facing a hard choice, Please Help

Postby Metapod » Mon Mar 06, 2017 4:10 pm

zot1 wrote:If you think that by choosing Illinois you'd have to end a four-year relationship and you "don't love the idea" of breaking up, it doesn't sound like you should be making decisions including your SO.


To make that clearer, my SO has made it clear that Chicago/the Midwest is not going to happen. And in hindsight "don't love the idea" undersells how crushed I would be at having to end things.

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Metapod
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Re: Facing a hard choice, Please Help

Postby Metapod » Mon Mar 06, 2017 4:14 pm

Would Illinois give me any better shot at big law in Chicago than Fordham would for NYC? For some reason I thought Fordham had a pretty good big law track record all things considered.

Anon.y.mousse.
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Re: Facing a hard choice, Please Help

Postby Anon.y.mousse. » Mon Mar 06, 2017 4:17 pm

Your SO would rather you go $200k+ in debt than deign to live in Chicago for a few years? That seems shitty/selfish.

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zot1
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Re: Facing a hard choice, Please Help

Postby zot1 » Mon Mar 06, 2017 4:17 pm

Metapod wrote:
zot1 wrote:If you think that by choosing Illinois you'd have to end a four-year relationship and you "don't love the idea" of breaking up, it doesn't sound like you should be making decisions including your SO.


To make that clearer, my SO has made it clear that Chicago/the Midwest is not going to happen. And in hindsight "don't love the idea" undersells how crushed I would be at having to end things.


No one here can tell you how to handle your relationship. Let me tell you what I'd do if this were me. I would discuss it with my SO. If SO says option A isn't happening, I need a good reason for that. If the reason isn't good and more of a selfish thing (my life is in option B and I'm not giving that up for you), I would then realize maybe my relationship wasn't going where I thought.

If this is someone you've invested four years on and you might marry some day, your debt will affect both you. If your SO isn't working with you on that fact, that would signal to me (as if this were my personal story), that the SO is probably not looking at things long term with me. If someone isn't looking at things long term with me, then there's no reason to include them in a decision that could impact me for decades to come (debt is so much fun!).

I hope you know I'm not trying to pick on you. I'm sorry you're in this situation.

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Metapod
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Re: Facing a hard choice, Please Help

Postby Metapod » Mon Mar 06, 2017 4:30 pm

zot1 wrote:
Metapod wrote:
zot1 wrote:If you think that by choosing Illinois you'd have to end a four-year relationship and you "don't love the idea" of breaking up, it doesn't sound like you should be making decisions including your SO.


To make that clearer, my SO has made it clear that Chicago/the Midwest is not going to happen. And in hindsight "don't love the idea" undersells how crushed I would be at having to end things.


No one here can tell you how to handle your relationship. Let me tell you what I'd do if this were me. I would discuss it with my SO. If SO says option A isn't happening, I need a good reason for that. If the reason isn't good and more of a selfish thing (my life is in option B and I'm not giving that up for you), I would then realize maybe my relationship wasn't going where I thought.

If this is someone you've invested four years on and you might marry some day, your debt will affect both you. If your SO isn't working with you on that fact, that would signal to me (as if this were my personal story), that the SO is probably not looking at things long term with me. If someone isn't looking at things long term with me, then there's no reason to include them in a decision that could impact me for decades to come (debt is so much fun!).

I hope you know I'm not trying to pick on you. I'm sorry you're in this situation.


I don't feel like you're picking on me at all. It's solid advice. Just hard to put into practice. I really do appreciate it though.

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Re: Facing a hard choice, Please Help

Postby BigZuck » Mon Mar 06, 2017 4:30 pm

Just retake the LSAT and find a way to go to Fordham (or a better school) for cheapsies if you want to stay in NYC.

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floatie
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Re: Facing a hard choice, Please Help

Postby floatie » Mon Mar 06, 2017 4:31 pm

Metapod wrote:Would Illinois give me any better shot at big law in Chicago than Fordham would for NYC? For some reason I thought Fordham had a pretty good big law track record all things considered.


I mean it's decent, since you're in NYC, but it's absolutely NOT worth it at the debt level you'd be getting yourself into. $15k a year is peanuts compared to the overall COA to go to Fordham

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Metapod
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Re: Facing a hard choice, Please Help

Postby Metapod » Mon Mar 06, 2017 5:13 pm

floatie wrote:
Metapod wrote:Would Illinois give me any better shot at big law in Chicago than Fordham would for NYC? For some reason I thought Fordham had a pretty good big law track record all things considered.


I mean it's decent, since you're in NYC, but it's absolutely NOT worth it at the debt level you'd be getting yourself into. $15k a year is peanuts compared to the overall COA to go to Fordham


Thank you for the input. Maybe I can negotiate but probably not.

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bwaldorf
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Re: Facing a hard choice, Please Help

Postby bwaldorf » Mon Mar 06, 2017 5:38 pm

Anon.y.mousse. wrote:Your SO would rather you go $200k+ in debt than deign to live in Chicago for a few years? That seems shitty/selfish.


+1.

And this is why I will not be getting into a relationship until after I move for law school.

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Metapod
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Re: Facing a hard choice, Please Help

Postby Metapod » Mon Mar 06, 2017 5:54 pm

bwaldorf wrote:
Anon.y.mousse. wrote:Your SO would rather you go $200k+ in debt than deign to live in Chicago for a few years? That seems shitty/selfish.


+1.

And this is why I will not be getting into a relationship until after I move for law school.


To be fair it would probably be more than a few years, hopefully 30, but point taken.

Anon.y.mousse.
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Re: Facing a hard choice, Please Help

Postby Anon.y.mousse. » Mon Mar 06, 2017 6:00 pm

Metapod wrote:
bwaldorf wrote:
Anon.y.mousse. wrote:Your SO would rather you go $200k+ in debt than deign to live in Chicago for a few years? That seems shitty/selfish.


+1.

And this is why I will not be getting into a relationship until after I move for law school.


To be fair it would probably be more than a few years, hopefully 30, but point taken.


I guess my point is that if you guys are committed to making a relationship work long-term, it shouldn't be a my way or the highway type mentality. It could be devastating to you to be burdened with $200k+ debt by choosing Fordham, but the fact that you said if you choose Illinois that you would have to end the relationship indicates to me that your SO (or you?) is not even willing to entertain doing long distance for three years so that you can avoid that massive debt load and continue the relationship. Which would be fine, except that the option of your SO moving with you to Illinois for you to finish your schooling, after which you look for opportunities to get your foot in the door in the NYC market also seems to be completely off the table.

If the situations were reversed, would you support your SO or would you put your foot down and refuse to uproot your own life at all costs? Don't you think that after four years, you've at least earned a conversation about how to make it work with your current options? If your SO isn't even willing to have the conversation, maybe this isn't meant to be a long term relationship for you, as sucky as that is.

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Re: Facing a hard choice, Please Help

Postby Anon.y.mousse. » Mon Mar 06, 2017 6:02 pm

Also I can only imagine the rage and regret I would have if I choose a school based on my SO not wanting to move and then we broke up leaving me saddled with the massive debt without even a relationship to show for it. Four years is a long time in a relationship, but stuff happens and people can grow apart even in formerly really solid and serious relationships, especially as individuals start to make these longer term life choices that can reveal a lot about what someone ultimately wants out of their career/life. Don't make a choice you'll regret down the line if your relationship doesn't work out.

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Metapod
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Re: Facing a hard choice, Please Help

Postby Metapod » Mon Mar 06, 2017 6:07 pm

Anon.y.mousse. wrote:Also I can only imagine the rage and regret I would have if I choose a school based on my SO not wanting to move and then we broke up leaving me saddled with the massive debt without even a relationship to show for it. Four years is a long time in a relationship, but stuff happens and people can grow apart even in formerly really solid and serious relationships, especially as individuals start to make these longer term life choices that can reveal a lot about what someone ultimately wants out of their career/life. Don't make a choice you'll regret down the line if your relationship doesn't work out.


Definitely good advice. I guess I'm operating under the assumption that if I go to Illinois, New York is all but off the table job-wise. I may be wrong about that but from what I've seen on here it seems like going from Illinois Law to the New York market is a pretty big leap to make. Also concerned that the stress of law school combined with a long distance relationship wouldn't lead to any good outcome. Not impossible, but really hard.

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floatie
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Re: Facing a hard choice, Please Help

Postby floatie » Mon Mar 06, 2017 6:14 pm

Metapod wrote: Definitely good advice. I guess I'm operating under the assumption that if I go to Illinois, New York is all but off the table job-wise. I may be wrong about that but from what I've seen on here it seems like going from Illinois Law to the New York market is a pretty big leap to make. Also concerned that the stress of law school combined with a long distance relationship wouldn't lead to any good outcome. Not impossible, but really hard.


Don't count on NY (especially NYC) coming out of Illinois. Long distance during law school is brutal but it's been done before. It sounds like at this point, you and your SO need to have a long, possibly hard talk about your options and your future [both individually and jointly], and what types of compromises you guys are willing to make. IMO though, if your SO isn't willing to chip in with the costs of law school, he/she doesn't get a say in where you go to school, especially if they're all but forcing your hand to take on a mortgage's worth of debt so that they don't have to move.

BigZuck
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Re: Facing a hard choice, Please Help

Postby BigZuck » Mon Mar 06, 2017 6:18 pm

BigZuck wrote:Just retake the LSAT and find a way to go to Fordham (or a better school) for cheapsies if you want to stay in NYC.

+1

This

Npret
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Re: Facing a hard choice, Please Help

Postby Npret » Mon Mar 06, 2017 6:30 pm

BigZuck wrote:
BigZuck wrote:Just retake the LSAT and find a way to go to Fordham (or a better school) for cheapsies if you want to stay in NYC.

+1

This

Yes I don't know why retake isn't all over this thread.
OP: don't break up with someone you really love to go to law school in Illinois where you have no friends or family or support. Retake and get a better deal in NYC where there are many law schools and where your SO and you seem to be very happy.

I understand why someone from NYC wouldn't want to live in Illinois and vice versa. It isn't as if there is only one school you can attend to be a lawyer.

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Metapod
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Re: Facing a hard choice, Please Help

Postby Metapod » Mon Mar 06, 2017 8:56 pm

Npret wrote:
BigZuck wrote:
BigZuck wrote:Just retake the LSAT and find a way to go to Fordham (or a better school) for cheapsies if you want to stay in NYC.

+1

This

Yes I don't know why retake isn't all over this thread.
OP: don't break up with someone you really love to go to law school in Illinois where you have no friends or family or support. Retake and get a better deal in NYC where there are many law schools and where your SO and you seem to be very happy.

I understand why someone from NYC wouldn't want to live in Illinois and vice versa. It isn't as if there is only one school you can attend to be a lawyer.


I actually have a lot of support through family and friends in the Illinois area. I grew up near Chicago and will always feel a connection to the Midwest. We also don't already live in New York. My SO just commutes there from PA at the moment. I've never lived in New York and I'm not sure how much I would like it (not down on it but just truly unsure).

And as I said originally, I really can't do another year at my job and stay sane so I'd have to find something else for less than a year to fill up the time I would take to study all over again, retake, and reapply (drawing a blank on what I could do that would still look okay to a law school). Maybe retake is the right option, but I just thought I'd add the information given the quotes post.




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