Help me Choose - BU staying close to gf or Northwestern Forum

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BU with gf + $$$ or NU $

BU
12
21%
Northwestern
46
79%
 
Total votes: 58

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Triveal

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Re: Help me Choose - BU staying close to gf or Northwestern

Post by Triveal » Sun Aug 12, 2012 4:03 pm

The answer to this is completely, 100% dependent on your relationship with your girlfriend, which nobody on this site can even begin to evaluate for you. It's a tough, shitty decision either way. Good luck.

09042014

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Re: Help me Choose - BU staying close to gf or Northwestern

Post by 09042014 » Sun Aug 12, 2012 4:23 pm

I'd agree with the wait a couple years advice. If your GF is still in school, you won't know where she ends up. What if she gets some dream job in NYC after you just took an SA in Boston?

Either cut her loose, or wait until you can have definitive plans.

Wakelaw15

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Re: Help me Choose - BU staying close to gf or Northwestern

Post by Wakelaw15 » Sun Aug 12, 2012 4:36 pm

I think the waiting advice is credited. Law school takes a toll on relationships and if you're not already married I think it would be a mistake to choose a law school based on the relationship.

Starboy

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Re: Help me Choose - BU staying close to gf or Northwestern

Post by Starboy » Sun Aug 12, 2012 7:21 pm

Once again, thanks for all the replies!

To the people that say wait, I've already waited a full year for her. Applied last cycle and sat out to see if this relationship will work (it has, better than I could have hoped). I'm already close to 30 and I don't think law schools would think I was very committed if I had applied 3 straight cycles to pull all my applications at the last minute. I think waiting would be ideal..if I hadn't already done it for a year.

To the people that say we're not that serious because I don't want to do a long distance relationship, I would contend that the exact opposite is true. What percentage of long distance relationships last in law school? 5% maybe? Probably less. Why would I want to induce that kind of trauma to our relationship? I believe that we could succeed, but I am not foolish/delusional enough to bank on that fact when the odds are so stacked against any long distance relationships in law school. I also care about her enough not to want to induce her to that kind of shitty lifestyle for 2+ years even though it would obviously be wayyy better for my career prospects.

Any other input is greatly valued. I am taking all of your comments to heart!

Starboy

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Re: Help me Choose - BU staying close to gf or Northwestern

Post by Starboy » Sun Aug 12, 2012 7:23 pm

Triveal wrote:The answer to this is completely, 100% dependent on your relationship with your girlfriend, which nobody on this site can even begin to evaluate for you. It's a tough, shitty decision either way. Good luck.
yeah, this. I think they're both amazing opportunities but I'm probably going to be at least a little unhappy with either choice.

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The Platypus

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Re: Help me Choose - BU staying close to gf or Northwestern

Post by The Platypus » Sun Aug 12, 2012 7:50 pm

Starboy wrote: To the people that say we're not that serious because I don't want to do a long distance relationship, I would contend that the exact opposite is true. What percentage of long distance relationships last in law school? 5% maybe? Probably less. Why would I want to induce that kind of trauma to our relationship? I believe that we could succeed, but I am not foolish/delusional enough to bank on that fact when the odds are so stacked against any long distance relationships in law school.
So, what happens after law school when you guys get initial employment offers in two different cities? Why do you think the long-distance problems are going to be over after law school? You can't be sure where you will find a job, nor where she will find one. So, even if you go to BU you might just be pushing this big crisis decision down the road. You have to think about how this relationship is really going to work--of course there's going to be sacrifices, but are you going to be the one making them all the time?

You're banking BU off one city (obviously somewhat financial). But if Boston ends up not being the city that works for both hers and your employment prospects, you just spent three years of your life at a lesser school. Opportunity cost. My two cents. Not a fun decision however way you slice it. I hope things work out whichever way you choose though. :)

Starboy

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Re: Help me Choose - BU staying close to gf or Northwestern

Post by Starboy » Sun Aug 12, 2012 8:28 pm

^^^

good point.

CanadianWolf

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Re: Help me Choose - BU staying close to gf or Northwestern

Post by CanadianWolf » Mon Aug 13, 2012 7:51 am

Whether you handle this as a personal decision or a professional decision, it's a decision that only you can make.

Northwestern makes more sense professionally.

BU may offer a larger scholarship if you withdraw in order to attend NU.

It is a bit troubling that you don't care for Boston. If the relationship sours, you'll have a lot to be upset about.

Starboy

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Re: Help me Choose - BU staying close to gf or Northwestern

Post by Starboy » Mon Aug 13, 2012 1:46 pm

I chose NU. I guess I will be joining the angsty, overstressed malcontents on TLS for the next 3 years now :)

Thanks once again for all of the advice, and wish me luck in the horrendous long distance relationship that is to come!

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Samara

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Re: Help me Choose - BU staying close to gf or Northwestern

Post by Samara » Mon Aug 13, 2012 2:45 pm

Starboy wrote:I chose NU. I guess I will be joining the angsty, overstressed malcontents on TLS for the next 3 years now :)

Thanks once again for all of the advice, and wish me luck in the horrendous long distance relationship that is to come!
Join us! We'll wallow in your angst with you.

Seriously though, a lot of us at NU are married or in committed relationships and we're a pretty friendly bunch. We'll help you get through it.

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