Chicago vs HLS? (No $)

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Jay Obee
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Re: Chicago vs HLS? (No $)

Postby Jay Obee » Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:20 pm

madrigal wrote:
I have a SO (of 6 years) at UChicago doing a PhD program, and I moved out to Hyde Park with her a year ago. Most of the Hyde Park criticism I've read on here is accurate, and while I'm perfectly happy here, I also see how it can be an isolating place to suddenly be left alone in. I don't think she totally understands why I would want to turn down a top-tier law school here to go after the bigger name in Harvard.


Can a long-distance relationship work in law school?


I'm siding with his SO here. Why, after six years, does he want to suddenly leave her isolated there? Pretty strange if you ask me.

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Dany
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Re: Chicago vs HLS? (No $)

Postby Dany » Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:21 pm

Jay Obee wrote:As to long distance relationships, you are in law school, so you know what the odds are. He has a better chance of landing an appellate clerkship than he does of that relationship surviving long distance over 1L. Acting like it is any different is like a 0L assuming they will land top quarter of first year.

...what?

Why don't you let OP worry about his relationship since you don't know him or his SO.

Jay Obee
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Re: Chicago vs HLS? (No $)

Postby Jay Obee » Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:26 pm

Dany wrote:
Jay Obee wrote:As to long distance relationships, you are in law school, so you know what the odds are. He has a better chance of landing an appellate clerkship than he does of that relationship surviving long distance over 1L. Acting like it is any different is like a 0L assuming they will land top quarter of first year.

...what?

Why don't you let OP worry about his relationship since you don't know him or his SO.


His SO doesn't understand why he wouldn't go to UChicago. How do you think that's going over? He's the guy posting his business on the internet and asking for whether the long distance is a bad idea. He's getting answers he may not like.

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dresden doll
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Re: Chicago vs HLS? (No $)

Postby dresden doll » Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:28 pm

Jay Obee wrote:As to long distance relationships, you are in law school, so you know what the odds are. He has a better chance of landing an appellate clerkship than he does of that relationship surviving long distance over 1L. Acting like it is any different is like a 0L assuming they will land top quarter of first year.


I'm not going to engage in speculations in re: percentage of people who preserve LDRs vs. those who secure appellate clerkships because it's an exercise in futility to do so. All I'm saying is that it's hasty to assume that this particular relationship can't withstand the distance. More importantly, it is overtly hostile to conclude, as you seem to be, that OP must not love his SO because he's entertaining the notion of going to Harvard.

My personal experience is that people should try to pick schools they'd go to with or without their SOs. That way, there's no resentment down the road ('I gave up Yale for you!'), and there's no possibility of feeling cheated if the relationship doesn't work out for other reasons.

Jay Obee
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Re: Chicago vs HLS? (No $)

Postby Jay Obee » Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:31 pm

dresden doll wrote:
Jay Obee wrote:As to long distance relationships, you are in law school, so you know what the odds are. He has a better chance of landing an appellate clerkship than he does of that relationship surviving long distance over 1L. Acting like it is any different is like a 0L assuming they will land top quarter of first year.


I'm not going to engage in speculations in re: percentage of people who preserve LDRs vs. those who secure appellate clerkships because it's an exercise in futility to do so. All I'm saying is that it's hasty to assume that this particular relationship can't withstand the distance. More importantly, it is overtly hostile to conclude, as you seem to be, that OP must not love his SO because he's entertaining the notion of going to Harvard.

My personal experience is that people should try to pick schools they'd go to with or without their SOs. That way, there's no resentment down the road ('I gave up Yale for you!'), and there's no possibility of feeling cheated if the relationship doesn't work out for other reasons.


That's even more pessimistic than I am. I believe in the power of love, as long as you don't voluntarily ditch that person for three years and leave them in the desolation of Hyde Park.

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Dany
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Re: Chicago vs HLS? (No $)

Postby Dany » Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:33 pm

Jay Obee wrote:That's even more pessimistic than I am. I believe in the power of love, as long as you don't voluntarily ditch that person for three years and leave them in the desolation of Hyde Park.

Hyde park is fine, and when you're taking out $200k+ in debt to go to school, there are more things to consider than just living in the same place as your SO.

The people I know in long distance relationships in 1L have been doing just fine.

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Blessedassurance
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Re: Chicago vs HLS? (No $)

Postby Blessedassurance » Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:34 pm

Jay Obee wrote:Sum total of unintelligible nonsense


Why are you in every ______ v HYS thread?

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AreJay711
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Re: Chicago vs HLS? (No $)

Postby AreJay711 » Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:36 pm

I don't believe that a long distance thing can last for 3 years. Love is not some thing that can survive or conquer all -- it needs to be nourished. That said, regrets suck so I'd go to Harvard unless you're willing to put a ring on it.

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dresden doll
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Re: Chicago vs HLS? (No $)

Postby dresden doll » Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:36 pm

Jay Obee wrote:That's even more pessimistic than I am. I believe in the power of love, as long as you don't voluntarily ditch that person for three years and leave them in the desolation of Hyde Park.


If you believe in love, you should be able to believe that his SO is capable of understanding his reasons for considering Harvard.

Jay Obee
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Re: Chicago vs HLS? (No $)

Postby Jay Obee » Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:37 pm

Dany wrote:
Jay Obee wrote:That's even more pessimistic than I am. I believe in the power of love, as long as you don't voluntarily ditch that person for three years and leave them in the desolation of Hyde Park.

Hyde park is fine, and when you're taking out $200k+ in debt to go to school, there are more things to consider than just living in the same place as your SO.

The people I know in long distance relationships in 1L have been doing just fine.


Wait til 1L is over. I don't think I knew any that survived into 2L. Heck, I think most relationships didn't survive 1L, not including long distance. I'm tempted to side with Dresden, but six years is a lot to not weigh at all.

Edit: I know one that survived. But, the dude cheated on his wife like every weekend. Ew.


Why are you in every ______ v HYS thread?


They are most fun threads to post nonsense in.
Last edited by Jay Obee on Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Jay Obee
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Re: Chicago vs HLS? (No $)

Postby Jay Obee » Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:39 pm

dresden doll wrote:
Jay Obee wrote:That's even more pessimistic than I am. I believe in the power of love, as long as you don't voluntarily ditch that person for three years and leave them in the desolation of Hyde Park.


If you believe in love, you should be able to believe that his SO is capable of understanding his reasons for considering Harvard.


I believe in the possessive, jealous, kind of love. Not that understanding, "if you love him, you'll want what's best for him" kind of love.
Last edited by Jay Obee on Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

JasonR
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Re: Chicago vs HLS? (No $)

Postby JasonR » Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:40 pm

Blessedassurance wrote:
Jay Obee wrote:Sum total of unintelligible nonsense


Why are you in every ______ v HYS thread?


Should someone in every ______ v H thread really be asking this question?

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Blessedassurance
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Re: Chicago vs HLS? (No $)

Postby Blessedassurance » Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:42 pm

Telegram to OP: Cool heads over warm hearts, always. Brought to you courtesy of the Chicago School of Economics.

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dresden doll
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Re: Chicago vs HLS? (No $)

Postby dresden doll » Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:45 pm

Blessedassurance wrote:Telegram to OP: Cool heads over warm hearts, always. Brought to you courtesy of the Chicago School of Economics.


Hey now. I think I've been pretty reasonable.

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Blessedassurance
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Re: Chicago vs HLS? (No $)

Postby Blessedassurance » Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:51 pm

JasonR wrote:
Blessedassurance wrote:
Jay Obee wrote:Sum total of unintelligible nonsense


Why are you in every ______ v HYS thread?


Should someone in every ______ v H thread really be asking this question?


Hi, glad to meet again, it appears we have the same interests.

Edit: [Unnecessary]

NB: I never actually give advice vis-a-vis choosing in the H v Y v S threads.
Last edited by Blessedassurance on Mon Apr 30, 2012 12:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

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dresden doll
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Re: Chicago vs HLS? (No $)

Postby dresden doll » Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:55 pm

Blessedassurance wrote:I think we can both agree he/she/it lacks the global capacity to think rationally and act purposefully.


:roll: :roll: And it sounds like he wound up somewhere where 3.9/172 isn't at all uncommon. Can we lay off the wild hyperbole?

madrigal
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Re: Chicago vs HLS? (No $)

Postby madrigal » Mon Apr 30, 2012 12:08 am

Jay Obee wrote:His SO doesn't understand why he wouldn't go to UChicago. How do you think that's going over? He's the guy posting his business on the internet and asking for whether the long distance is a bad idea. He's getting answers he may not like.


No offense taken, I know full well that I leave myself open to judgment in posting on a public forum. I really appreciate all of the feedback that I've gotten from this thread, and thank you to all for taking the time to help talk me through my decision. Reading this discussion has really been helpful, and hopefully I can repay the favor one day...

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Blessedassurance
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Re: Chicago vs HLS? (No $)

Postby Blessedassurance » Mon Apr 30, 2012 12:15 am

madrigal wrote:No offense taken, I know full well that I leave myself open to judgment in posting on a public forum. I really appreciate all of the feedback that I've gotten from this thread, and thank you to all for taking the time to help talk me through my decision. Reading this discussion has really been helpful, and hopefully I can repay the favor one day...


Don't let people guilt you into making emotional decisions. Do what's best for you; take care of yourself first. Whatever decision you arrive at, do so rationally. Que sera sera.

Jay Obee
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Re: Chicago vs HLS? (No $)

Postby Jay Obee » Mon Apr 30, 2012 12:15 am

madrigal wrote:
Jay Obee wrote:His SO doesn't understand why he wouldn't go to UChicago. How do you think that's going over? He's the guy posting his business on the internet and asking for whether the long distance is a bad idea. He's getting answers he may not like.


No offense taken, I know full well that I leave myself open to judgment in posting on a public forum. I really appreciate all of the feedback that I've gotten from this thread, and thank you to all for taking the time to help talk me through my decision. Reading this discussion has really been helpful, and hopefully I can repay the favor one day...


None meant. Make that tough decision. Best of luck to you, broski.

chasgoose
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Re: Chicago vs HLS? (No $)

Postby chasgoose » Mon Apr 30, 2012 1:51 am

Is your SO in a program that requires class attendance or is she ABD? If the latter, couldn't she come with you to Harvard and do her research there? I'm sure reciprocal privileges can be worked out for research purposes and/or she can commute back to meet w/ advisors or telecommute. At sticker, especially with an academic SO who could be ANYWHERE, it makes a lot more sense to go to Harvard than Chicago. The degree is a lot more portable and, who knows, you might decide you want to go into academia at some point as well. That is going to be a lot easier from Harvard than it is from Chicago. Obviously want to see if Chicago offers you more money, but until then, especially if your SO is ABD, pick Harvard.

PMan99
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Re: Chicago vs HLS? (No $)

Postby PMan99 » Mon Apr 30, 2012 6:44 am

Jay Obee wrote:
Dany wrote:
Jay Obee wrote:That's even more pessimistic than I am. I believe in the power of love, as long as you don't voluntarily ditch that person for three years and leave them in the desolation of Hyde Park.

Hyde park is fine, and when you're taking out $200k+ in debt to go to school, there are more things to consider than just living in the same place as your SO.

The people I know in long distance relationships in 1L have been doing just fine.


Wait til 1L is over. I don't think I knew any that survived into 2L. Heck, I think most relationships didn't survive 1L, not including long distance. I'm tempted to side with Dresden, but six years is a lot to not weigh at all.

Edit: I know one that survived. But, the dude cheated on his wife like every weekend. Ew.



Dude 1L ends in like a week. My experiences line up with Dany - the vast majority of LDRs are doing fine. Obviously it wouldn't be an optimal setup but OP would get breaks in the fall, winter, and spring in addition to whenever his SO can come to Boston. If he has enough $ for more flights it isn't detrimental at all to skip a couple of days of classes every other week and fly out to Chi. It shouldn't be too hard to at least get DLA or Baker Chicago from either school, and even if not he has enough ties there to have a good shot at midlaw / PI jobs. It isn't as ideal as him living at UChi but he isn't leaving her in desolation.


The ten biggest universities in the US by enrollment are in: Tempe, AZ, Orlando, FL, Columbus, OH, Minneapolis, MN, Austin, TX, College Station, TX, Gainesville, FL, East Lansing, MI, University Park, PA, and NY, NY.

There's one good city for biglaw (NY), two cities where biglaw exists (Minneapolis, Austin), and four cities with gov (Lansing, Austin, Minneapolis, Columbus). You can urge him to go to UChi all you want but you still need to answer the question: What happens when his SO gets a job in Gainesville? $250,000 with no way to repay is going to end up destroying a relationship a lot faster than trying to go long distance. OP should consider that proposition from the very real perspective of a sub-median student as well.




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