How much will your SO factor into your law school decision?

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Chucky21
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Re: How much will your SO factor into your law school decision?

Postby Chucky21 » Tue Feb 21, 2012 11:24 pm

This is why you should hit it and quit it until you know where you're gonna be based.

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FeelTheHeat
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Re: How much will your SO factor into your law school decision?

Postby FeelTheHeat » Tue Feb 21, 2012 11:31 pm

Guchster wrote:
FeelTheHeat wrote:Half the reason I chose my school.


and the other half?


Recommendations of judges and attorneys I know and state-wide respect.

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beachbum
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Re: How much will your SO factor into your law school decision?

Postby beachbum » Tue Feb 21, 2012 11:47 pm

My SO (then-gf, now fiance) certainly played a role: she has family in a nearby city here, and the area we're in is great for her profession (healthcare/health management). But it's certainly been nice having her here for support, and to keep me grounded. And we're living together, so rent is cheaper. And she's a great cook, and will frequently cook dinner. Which is fantastic after spending the day in the library. And her family's connections pretty much got me my 1L summer job, which was much appreciated. So, yeah, it's worked out pretty well so far.

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mattviphky
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Re: How much will your SO factor into your law school decision?

Postby mattviphky » Tue Feb 21, 2012 11:51 pm

f7 wrote:
Crowing wrote:I should probably add that she's not taking a year off to be with me specifically. She's doing that because she's burnt out on school and doesn't want to pursue graduate studies just yet. I also have told her about my concerns, and she still hopes that I'll reconsider. The honest truth is that I still love her in many ways; I'm just not really attracted to her anymore (or have I ever been)? Maybe it's because I'm a dude, but the whole idea of committing to something long term just doesn't gel. Even if I've already committed for 3 years.

Sac up and dump her.


I hear you, man. I was in a nearly 4 year relationship that lasted most of college and up until this past December. We lived together through most of college, and then lived together this past year while we worked. It was a hard thing to do, because I did love her in many ways...but I just knew that I was dragging her along, which isn't fair to her. It takes a lot of nuts to break up with someone you've been together with for that long, actually some people just commit to getting married in that situation because they don't know much else. I just knew that there had to be something better out there for the both of us. So I moved out, and even offered to pay my half of rent up until the end of our lease. We have a dog together, and sometimes talk on the phone, but it's done. I pretty much felt the same way as you. It sucks at first, but you gotta let her go. If you really love her, you can't mess with her emotions anymore.

To the OP: Up until the break up, we had been planning to move away together for school. Luckily, she was pretty mobile. So having to plan out some sort of logistical nightmare wasn't really something we had to worry about. It was pretty much me going to school where I wanted, and she would move there with me.

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vissidarte27
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Re: How much will your SO factor into your law school decision?

Postby vissidarte27 » Tue Feb 21, 2012 11:57 pm

Witt wrote:My SO and I are going to be spending 1L apart, though'll we'll be married so it might be different than some other situations. I know Lexington is about an hour away from Roanoke, which might offer some job prospects for your SO.

Also, you could consider, though you may not want to, having your SO find a full-time job somewhere in VA and just spending the weekday apart.


We've thought about Roanoke. Staunton, too. And those might be possibilities -- we could live somewhere between Lex and the other city and both commute to our respective things.

I briefly considered the long-distance thing, but I don't think it would be practical, financially. We're living together now and the idea of dividing all of our things (one of us would have to furnish a new place -- we have one couch, one bed, one table, etc) and paying rent on two places. Also, we were long-distance for the first nine months of our relationship and, while it was great, and we were a lot more successful than other long-distance couples, to do that again would feel like going backwards, you know?

Thanks for all the input. She's the most important thing in my life and a huge part of this decision. Figuring out what is going to be best for us in the long-term (less debt vs. better job prospects vs location) is difficult, but I'll come to a decision eventually. :)

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crossarmant
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Re: How much will your SO factor into your law school decision?

Postby crossarmant » Wed Feb 22, 2012 12:45 am

vissidarte27 wrote:
Witt wrote:My SO and I are going to be spending 1L apart, though'll we'll be married so it might be different than some other situations. I know Lexington is about an hour away from Roanoke, which might offer some job prospects for your SO.

Also, you could consider, though you may not want to, having your SO find a full-time job somewhere in VA and just spending the weekday apart.


We've thought about Roanoke. Staunton, too. And those might be possibilities -- we could live somewhere between Lex and the other city and both commute to our respective things.

I briefly considered the long-distance thing, but I don't think it would be practical, financially. We're living together now and the idea of dividing all of our things (one of us would have to furnish a new place -- we have one couch, one bed, one table, etc) and paying rent on two places. Also, we were long-distance for the first nine months of our relationship and, while it was great, and we were a lot more successful than other long-distance couples, to do that again would feel like going backwards, you know?

Thanks for all the input. She's the most important thing in my life and a huge part of this decision. Figuring out what is going to be best for us in the long-term (less debt vs. better job prospects vs location) is difficult, but I'll come to a decision eventually. :)


As someone who grew up in Roanoke, it's a very very small market for as large of a populace it is. And if she has aspirations at truly professional work, she may be very limited there. I mean, it's kinda nice if you want to raise kids or what not, but not exactly the TLS sort of place.

Besides all of that, my fiancee (been together 8 years) and I decided to do the year apart. There's about a 5 hour distance between us so it gets to us a lot of the time. But she is working on her Masters and we decided it might be for the best if I did all the 1L stress without her as a distraction, we decided after she finished her degree up in May she'd move here. Though, now I'm looking to transfer so we may just both end up moving together again somewhere new.

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anjmissy
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Re: How much will your SO factor into your law school decision?

Postby anjmissy » Wed Feb 22, 2012 1:10 am

my vote is Emory

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vissidarte27
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Re: How much will your SO factor into your law school decision?

Postby vissidarte27 » Wed Feb 22, 2012 1:28 am

Even if Emory is at sticker or close to it? That's A LOT of debt to take on and I'm leery, especially since I want to do PI work and won't be making much (though Emory does have an LRAP and I'll be able to do the PI IBR that'll free me up in ten years, provided it still exists).

If they give me money, it sounds like the best option, but if they don't? I'm not so sure.

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TaipeiMort
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Re: How much will your SO factor into your law school decision?

Postby TaipeiMort » Wed Feb 22, 2012 1:33 am

I can't imagine how bad it would suck if you or your SO adjusted their life in a detrimental manner, and then the relationship ended up failing shortly thereafter.

Anyways, if you plan to have your SO live near during law school, they should be really drinking your koolaide, as 1Ls are generally horrible people that will take 10000x more than they give. If you really care about them, then you probably don't want to put them through that. So, the only way I see it going down is if you don't mind using them as a tool when they are devoted to you, or you are in an incredibly strong and devoted relationship.

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JamMasterJ
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Re: How much will your SO factor into your law school decision?

Postby JamMasterJ » Wed Feb 22, 2012 1:37 am

vissidarte27 wrote:For those of you going to school with a husband/wife/partner, how are you negotiating what is best for them versus what is best for you?

I am currently trying to decide between three schools -- W&L, URichmond, and Emory -- and I'm having a helluva time trying weigh my partner's needs with my own. I have a $20k/year scholarship at W&L, I was asked to apply for a John Marshall ($30k/year) scholarship at Richmond, and I've yet to hear back from Emory regarding money but I am not expecting anything since my GPA is below median and my LSAT is right at median.

I think, were it entirely up to me, I would jump on W&L in a heartbeat. I think the program would suit me well, I would be very happy living in Virginia indefinitely, and I'd have significantly less debt than I would at Emory, for example. BUT it's in Lexington and it would be very difficult, if not impossible, for my partner to find a job, let alone a job that she'd like.

Richmond is an option -- bigger city, low cost of living, more job prospects -- but the school is lower ranked and I worry about employment prospects. I visited the school and sat in on a class, but I wasn't as wowed as I had hoped to be. Still, if I got the scholarship, it could leave me with little debt in a place that might be okay for my SO.

Atlanta would be the best for her. Her family is there and the Japanese consulate is in Atlanta and she could potentially find work in her field. She majored in Japanese and wants to translate. She knows that that may not be a realistic option because it's kind of a crapshoot, and she's also thought about getting certified to teach high school. But the Japanese stuff would be ideal. But Emory is expensive and, if they don't give me money, I'll be looking at A LOT of debt for a school that may not have the best employment prospects. However, my father-in-law is a lawyer in Atlanta and may have some connections that I could take advantage of.

I feel like any prospect has the possibility of working well or of being disastrous and I'm not sure what the best decision for me.

My SO says that she can find something no matter where we go, and she hasn't been pushing me in any one way or another (though she admits that she'd prefer Richmond or Atlanta to Lexington), but I want to make sure that we end up in a place that will work for both of us. She's already given up a year, working a couple of part-time jobs so that I could live in VA and gain residency before starting school (I had originally hoped to go to UVA or W&M but UVA didn't pan out and I'm pretty sure I'll get waitlisted at W&M). I'm not sure I'm comfortable asking her to give up another three years so that I can go to W&L.

Is anyone else in a similar or relatable situation? Thoughts?

Don't forget to weigh her potential earnings. If she can't get much of a job in one place but can get paid somewhere else, it's almost like you are getting a bigger scholarship to that school. I'm not sure whether you are at the stage where money isn't really divided between the two partners, but from what I remember about you, I think you're extremely serious.

My fiancee (we'll be married by the time school starts) is in nursing, so her degree is really portable. There are certain parts of the country that she's not excited about, and some places are more attractive because of the opportunities in the area of nursing she's interested in. So I think some places get a boost simply because they are more attractive to her, but only a couple to more than a reasonable extent

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Cupidity
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Re: How much will your SO factor into your law school decision?

Postby Cupidity » Wed Feb 22, 2012 1:40 am

1L isn't nearly as demanding as you are making it out to be.

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FeelTheHeat
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Re: How much will your SO factor into your law school decision?

Postby FeelTheHeat » Wed Feb 22, 2012 1:41 am

Cupidity wrote:1L isn't nearly as demanding as you are making it out to be.

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crossarmant
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Re: How much will your SO factor into your law school decision?

Postby crossarmant » Wed Feb 22, 2012 1:51 am

Cupidity wrote:1L isn't nearly as demanding as you are making it out to be.


1L is significantly less stressful when you don't really spend a lot of time with other 1Ls. It's the echo chamber and psyche outs that make it more stressful than it needs to be.

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Jaeger
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Re: How much will your SO factor into your law school decision?

Postby Jaeger » Wed Feb 22, 2012 1:57 am

My SO is playing a big role in my decision-making process. I have to make sure all the schools I apply for are in large markets because her job (equity analyst) requires a pretty big city. Also, it's why I'm considering Minnesota so heavily as she is from MN and can get a great job in Minneapolis. While I care about my job prospects when I graduate, I also have to make sure I'm doing what's good for her career too.


One thing I am stoked about is that wherever we go we will have her income so we can live in a decent apartment and not be miserly like I would be on my own.

83947368
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Re: How much will your SO factor into your law school decision?

Postby 83947368 » Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:07 am

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Last edited by 83947368 on Wed Jul 25, 2012 2:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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johansantana21
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Re: How much will your SO factor into your law school decision?

Postby johansantana21 » Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:22 am

Will my SO pay off my loans?

shoeshine
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Re: How much will your SO factor into your law school decision?

Postby shoeshine » Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:28 am

MY SO followed me to my law school in a different city. We are doing awesome. She really keeps me grounded. I think people make a bigger deal relationships during law school than they need to.

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Re: How much will your SO factor into your law school decision?

Postby shoeshine » Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:39 am

f7 wrote:
shoeshine wrote:MY SO followed me to my law school in a different city. We are doing awesome. She really keeps me grounded. I think people make a bigger deal relationships during law school than they need to.

Y u still mad then?

F7 (the internet detective), come on I am disappointed in you.

You need to go deeper. I once posted about my girlfriend giving me a hard time about a gift I gave my ex. You should have posted that. You are slipping.

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Re: How much will your SO factor into your law school decision?

Postby shoeshine » Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:45 am

f7 wrote:http://top-law-schools.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=128481&start=5300#p4502239

shoeshine wrote:
shoeshine wrote:GF: So I was going through your files.
Me: Why?
GF: No reason, I was just bored. I found the gift receipts file.
Me: Okay...
GF: Who did you buy a Louis Vuitton purse for in 2006?
Me: It was for _______(my ex). You knew about that.
GF: Great, ______ gets the rich version of you and I get the poor version that decided to quit his job and go to law school.
**GF Leaves Room**

FML. How do I even respond to that? I am mad on several levels. This is why you don't move in with someone.


Thought I would give you guys an update. I confronted her and sort of blew up about the whole thing. I am staying at my friend's house for now.

She has apologized and has given me the following excuses for her behavior.

1. Jealousy. She claims she got extremely jealous when she saw the receipt. She hates my ex with a passion.
2. She is anxious about money. She claims that she made that comment becuase she has been worried about money ever since I told her I was quitting my job to attend law school. I don't know why she would be because we don't really share our finances. Plus, if she had gone through all my files she would know I have enough savings to live off of for the next six years without working (but I guess most of that will go to law school tuition).
3. It is that time of the month. Apparently menstruation makes you act crazy. Who knew?
(Notice how none of these excuses addresses why she was in my files in the first place?)

She is really upset I left and wants me to come back home and forgive her. I am not sure I want to do that.
[/quote]
Image

That is the F7 I know. Bravo.

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Jaeger
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Re: How much will your SO factor into your law school decision?

Postby Jaeger » Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:49 am

f7 wrote:http://top-law-schools.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=128481&start=5300#p4502239

shoeshine wrote:
shoeshine wrote:GF: So I was going through your files.
Me: Why?
GF: No reason, I was just bored. I found the gift receipts file.
Me: Okay...
GF: Who did you buy a Louis Vuitton purse for in 2006?
Me: It was for _______(my ex). You knew about that.
GF: Great, ______ gets the rich version of you and I get the poor version that decided to quit his job and go to law school.
**GF Leaves Room**

FML. How do I even respond to that? I am mad on several levels. This is why you don't move in with someone.


Thought I would give you guys an update. I confronted her and sort of blew up about the whole thing. I am staying at my friend's house for now.

She has apologized and has given me the following excuses for her behavior.

1. Jealousy. She claims she got extremely jealous when she saw the receipt. She hates my ex with a passion.
2. She is anxious about money. She claims that she made that comment becuase she has been worried about money ever since I told her I was quitting my job to attend law school. I don't know why she would be because we don't really share our finances. Plus, if she had gone through all my files she would know I have enough savings to live off of for the next six years without working (but I guess most of that will go to law school tuition).
3. It is that time of the month. Apparently menstruation makes you act crazy. Who knew?
(Notice how none of these excuses addresses why she was in my files in the first place?)

She is really upset I left and wants me to come back home and forgive her. I am not sure I want to do that.


This seems beyond usual TLS dickishness. Who cares? He responded to the topic of the thread. WTF are you doing? You feel like a badass because you caught him in some kind of apparent contradiction?

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Jaeger
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Re: How much will your SO factor into your law school decision?

Postby Jaeger » Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:53 am

The first one?

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sumtimesuwonder
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Re: How much will your SO factor into your law school decision?

Postby sumtimesuwonder » Wed Feb 22, 2012 4:23 am

My SO is playing a big part. Shes an art major (I know, I know) and is a) afraid to move significant distances from where she grew up and b) needs to be in a place with a relatively large market to increase her chances at a job. I'm a little more willing to broaden my net a little bigger, and have some decent offers from places in OH (im from Northeastern PA). She thinks OH is the land of rednecks and boredom, and I feel like she is being unreasonable to the whole state. Not saying that the OH schools are even where I want to go, I just feel like shes limiting how much im considering these schools.

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vissidarte27
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Re: How much will your SO factor into your law school decision?

Postby vissidarte27 » Wed Feb 22, 2012 6:24 pm

Update on my situation: I got $18k/year at Emory. It's still the most expensive of my choices (lowest scholarship amount and highest sticker price), but it may be worth it.

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anjmissy
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Re: How much will your SO factor into your law school decision?

Postby anjmissy » Thu Feb 23, 2012 1:56 am

vissidarte27 wrote:Update on my situation: I got $18k/year at Emory. It's still the most expensive of my choices (lowest scholarship amount and highest sticker price), but it may be worth it.


yeah with your scholarship at w&l and this one you'll be paying about 10k more a year?..thats not bad, you can't put a price on happiness but if so it would be more than 10K a year so i say go for Atlanta

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AreJay711
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Re: How much will your SO factor into your law school decision?

Postby AreJay711 » Thu Feb 23, 2012 1:58 am

Don't live with your SO 1L. Ride the wave and do it 2L if it feels right.




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