How much will your SO factor into your law school decision? Forum

[vissidarte27]

For those of you going to school with a husband/wife/partner, how are you negotiating what is best for them versus what is best for you?

I am currently trying to decide between three schools -- W&L, URichmond, and Emory -- and I'm having a helluva time trying weigh my partner's needs with my own. I have a $20k/year scholarship at W&L, I was asked to apply for a John Marshall ($30k/year) scholarship at Richmond, and I've yet to hear back from Emory regarding money but I am not expecting anything since my GPA is below median and my LSAT is right at median.

I think, were it entirely up to me, I would jump on W&L in a heartbeat. I think the program would suit me well, I would be very happy living in Virginia indefinitely, and I'd have significantly less debt than I would at Emory, for example. BUT it's in Lexington and it would be very difficult, if not impossible, for my partner to find a job, let alone a job that she'd like.

Richmond is an option -- bigger city, low cost of living, more job prospects -- but the school is lower ranked and I worry about employment prospects. I visited the school and sat in on a class, but I wasn't as wowed as I had hoped to be. Still, if I got the scholarship, it could leave me with little debt in a place that might be okay for my SO.

Atlanta would be the best for her. Her family is there and the Japanese consulate is in Atlanta and she could potentially find work in her field. She majored in Japanese and wants to translate. She knows that that may not be a realistic option because it's kind of a crapshoot, and she's also thought about getting certified to teach high school. But the Japanese stuff would be ideal. But Emory is expensive and, if they don't give me money, I'll be looking at A LOT of debt for a school that may not have the best employment prospects. However, my father-in-law is a lawyer in Atlanta and may have some connections that I could take advantage of.

I feel like any prospect has the possibility of working well or of being disastrous and I'm not sure what the best decision for me.

My SO says that she can find something no matter where we go, and she hasn't been pushing me in any one way or another (though she admits that she'd prefer Richmond or Atlanta to Lexington), but I want to make sure that we end up in a place that will work for both of us. She's already given up a year, working a couple of part-time jobs so that I could live in VA and gain residency before starting school (I had originally hoped to go to UVA or W&M but UVA didn't pan out and I'm pretty sure I'll get waitlisted at W&M). I'm not sure I'm comfortable asking her to give up another three years so that I can go to W&L.

Is anyone else in a similar or relatable situation? Thoughts?

[FlanAl]

having the SO close is super helpful. I ended up on the east coast (I'm from california) mostly because of this. A huge thing in law is connections. Depending on your relationship with your SO and her family I feel like Emory might be the call. No dad wants his daughter married to a deadbeat so he'll probably do his best to make sure you at least have a job. Wait it out and see about W&M, it is still relatively early in the cycle and the instate tuition would save you a bundle there making it worth it.

[rad lulz]

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[milljp02]

I'm in a similar situation. Don't have your numbers though, so the money issue is a little different. We just decided tonight actually to go ahead and withdraw from the W&L wait list. She would much rather be in Richmond than Lexington. I've already dragged her from TN where she had a house and a good job to the mountains where she's working retail and we're renting. It looks like we're down to waiting to hear back from CU as staying in Colorado is ideal and I've qualified for in-state tuition but Richmond is a strong second (we'd take Richmond over DU), with Maryland and DU rounding out or final four. Richmond has the benefits of lower cost of living, much closer to her family and we'd both be happy living in the area (I can work in a PD or DA's office anywhere I suppose, so I'm flexible). UR told me that I should be in line for some $ for my lsat, though not much given my lousy gpa.

Bottom line is that it's tough. Lexington doesn't offer much in the way of career opportunities for SO's. There's a fine balance - a big part is location, but debt is part of it too since you both ultimately carry it. It sounds like Emory or Richmond (especially if you get that Marshall Scholarship) might trump W&L. Tough choice, best of luck to you and yours.

[Cupidity]

Not to brag/seem like a life-ruining douchebag holding back my amazing bf,

My SO is turning down $45k at Michigan to come to BU/BC. No word on $$ from the Boston schools yet, but if we don't break $20k year he is just going to take the year off.

[Crowing]

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[rad lulz]

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[Guchster]

My gf is taking a year off to work/take more classes toward a second degree. She is willing and even excited to go wherever I get into. But the truth is, I'm thinking about breaking up with her after we graduate because I kind of want a fresh start in law school. I feel like an ass but I can't help it...

[ilovesf]

Not to brag/seem like a life-ruining douchebag holding back my amazing bf,

My SO is turning down $45k at Michigan to come to BU/BC. No word on $$ from the Boston schools yet, but if we don't break $20k year he is just going to take the year off.

How long have you guys been dating? That's one hell of a commitment.

[Cupidity]

Not to brag/seem like a life-ruining douchebag holding back my amazing bf,

My SO is turning down $45k at Michigan to come to BU/BC. No word on $$ from the Boston schools yet, but if we don't break $20k year he is just going to take the year off.

How long have you guys been dating? That's one hell of a commitment.

It will be 5yrs by that point. He's hard-science patent bar eligible, so the placement stat differences aren't quite as severe as they would be if he were just some philosophy major looking for BigLaw Corporate/Lit.

[094320]

..

[Crowing]

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[ilovesf]

I should probably add that she's not taking a year off to be with me specifically. She's doing that because she's burnt out on school and doesn't want to pursue graduate studies just yet. I also have told her about my concerns, and she still hopes that I'll reconsider. The honest truth is that I still love her in many ways; I'm just not really attracted to her anymore (or have I ever been)? Maybe it's because I'm a dude, but the whole idea of committing to something long term just doesn't gel. Even if I've already committed for 3 years.

Break up with her.

[Guchster]

Dood, srsly you're messing with her life and she's going to get pissed when she has to re-think next year cuz of you.

[Cupidity]

Dood, srsly you're messing with her life and she's going to get pissed when she has to re-think next year cuz of you.

And I felt like a jerk for making my bf take a slightly lower rank law school with higher scholarship.

[Crowing]

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[ilovesf]

Dood, srsly you're messing with her life and she's going to get pissed when she has to re-think next year cuz of you.

But I've told her specifically that I probably want to break up after undergrad. Are you saying she's not rational? Actually, don't answer that >.<

Why are you waiting until after undergrad?

[Crowing]

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[rad lulz]

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[Blindmelon]

Isn't this the kind of decision you should make on your own and not be asking complete strangers? Do what you want.

[20130312]

Me and my HS GF knew we were breaking up to go to college; it was fine. I get that.

Samesies, wasn't even a tough choice for either of us. Hope you can get out this clean, Crowing.

[thecactus]

I would say go with Emory, since it seems like you already have career connections in Atlanta. But then again, I am about 0% familiar with the job prospects of Emory graduates, so I'm not really sure if the debt would be worth it. If teaching is a viable option for your SO, it doesn't matter that much where you end up, since teaching jobs are available in every region of the country. Granted, these jobs are hard to come buy, but probably not as hard as Japanese translation work.

I am in a similar situation...my SO and I are moving together to be closer to the law school. He'd be giving up a job where he's living right now and finding a new one. It's a little scary moving to a new place without work lined up. I'm beginning to wonder if my loans + savings would be enough to support both of us until he finds a job.

[Witt]

My SO and I are going to be spending 1L apart, though'll we'll be married so it might be different than some other situations. I know Lexington is about an hour away from Roanoke, which might offer some job prospects for your SO.

Also, you could consider, though you may not want to, having your SO find a full-time job somewhere in VA and just spending the weekday apart.

[FeelTheHeat]

Half the reason I chose my school.

[Guchster]

Half the reason I chose my school.

and the other half?