sidhesadie wrote:RE: Having kids while in law school
You haven't really said what your girlfriend wants you to do (other than not go to law school).
As a parent, I can tell you that it takes a really, really long time to raise kids. LOL. In some ways it goes by fast, but at the same time, when you wake up and can't believe they're 18, you also will be in disbelief that you're 50. Where did it go? My point here is that if what your girlfriend really wants is for you to continue with a job that makes you miserable so that she can feel 'safe' when you have the means and opportunity to do something different, and if she's really that insecure about the idea of pregnancy and child rearing...well...I would just think really carefully about the next 20 years of your life. Kids make you scared like you've never been scared before (are they safe? will anything happen to them?) They get hurt with alarming frequency if you're not used to being around kids. They are expensive, something is always coming up to do/pay for. There's always something they need for school they didn't tell you until the last minute.
I don't say this to discourage you from having kids, lol, but rather just to really think about your girlfriend's personality and whether she's going to be a steady, strong mother for your children. You're very worried about what you can be for her, and that's sweet and shows your good character, but there's more to consider than just that. Law school with having kids is TOTALLY doable (I know a number of women who were the law students themselves who had babies in 2L or 3L) but whether it's totally doable with HER? I don't know about that.
Thanks sidhesadie. She knows how I feel about my last jobs and does not want me to take another job that makes me miserable. But at the same time, she does not want to struggle. She works in international law, and her career has taken her all over the world, from Nairobi, Kenya, to Arusha, Tanzania, to The Hague, to Geneva, and now to NYC. It all seems to have taken its toll on her, both mentally and physically with her health. She has been through a lot and just wants to settle down and concentrate on having a family. It doesn't help that she's now 36 and really hears her clock ticking. She thinks that LS (or any other kind of school for that matter) will be too difficult with her having to work and both of us trying to raise a child with her being the sole breadwinner.
At the same time, if I can't make a successful career change, I'm certain that I will never be stable. It's pretty clear to me that I'm not cut out for the corporate world, but those are really the only kinds of jobs I can get with my current resume. However, to make a career change, it's a virtual certainty that I will have to go to some kind of graduate or professional program.
This may just be a case of the world's worst timing: her child-bearing crisis and my career crisis coming both at the same time. She says that if she were younger she could totally support me with going to LS or whatever I want to do. But with her age, she doesn't think she can do that. I completely understand her feelings, but it breaks my heart nonetheless. I'm just hoping that there is some kind of compromise that we can reach.