Ok, let me ask you this. When teenage girls begin wearing makeup, what, exactly, are they learning to do? Spend much time in the mirror tending to detail, on themselves. This is just one example of what I am talking about. The fact that women have unique needs due to their gender (their bodies are different, they have feminine needs and can be vulnerable to unique medical problems, etc), and the fact that their gender roles are still largely determined by their ability to attract a husband and be mothers (I am NOT saying this is the way things SHOULD be, just the way they are), women are mostly socialized in a paradoxical way. That is, they must become self-centered in order to attract a mate and perform roles that demonstrate that they are not self-centered, i.e., wife and mother.
Now, we all know that this isn't necessarily what evey woman wants or values, and certainly not what every women necessarily needs. But gender roles in our society are still defined by masculine and feminine ends of the spectrum.
Women's biological differences tend to, along with well-established gender roles, socialize women into a "self-centerdness", a focus on self and an innate feeling that certain things must revolve around her; that affects their dealings with men. This is almost necessary because, again, this is what will ultimately attract a man and make him want to marry her and have kids with her. And that's when she must theoretically become less self-centered.
That's the generality I speak of, and it is a true one. The shoes, et. al. you all took that stuff too literally and didn't comprehend the deeper message I was sending.
I think some posters thought I was saying that all women are "selfish". This is completely wrong. I do not believe this. I am not a chauvanistic type of man. In fact, i am just the opposite. My ideal woman is professional and driven, like me.
What I was saying is that I am less focussed on someone being my wife. Therefore, the traditional development of female gender role can leave a woman out in the cold with me if she isn't prepared to adjust her idea of what I may find attractive in a mate. If she wants to be a traditional wife, I am not her man. I have a program I want to follow, and it involves my mate being more of a partner than a wife.
So the time she has spent developing certain traits to attract members of the general male population won't work for me. I don't want someone washing my clothes or cooking for me and spending the day at the mall. I want her to be as busy as I am, building, running a business or something.
The reason single women do not make men their centers is that they can't if they expect to be good wives and mothers. It doesn't seem to make sense, but it does. This is the bait they must lay out for men. Looking good, cooking well, being potentially good mothers because the details they have learned to tend to (makeup, feminine care, etc) indicate that they will. Even activities not defined by gender can contribute to this. A female who is a good student or a hard worker can also make a good wife.
Women don't want men who make them their centers because that's a possessive, insecure, feminine man. Most women do not want that. Women want a protector. A man cannot be a protector if he's busy laying up under his woman, depending on her for assurance and expecting her to protect him. There are always exceptions, but I am just saying.
I know my role, and I expect my mate to know hers. I want a partner, not a wifey. My thing is, let's conquer the world together instead of living a subdued life in the burbs raising kids.
For those who want that, great! There's nothing wrong with it. It's not for me.