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GPA: 3.4
LSAT: 165 (highest-Dec 06), 157 (Sept 06)
Accepted: Emory ($), Alabama ($), Baylor, Pepperdine ($), Mizzou($), South Carolina ($), Temple ($), Creighton ($), Hofstra ($), Quinnipiac ($), Washburn ($), Ave Maria ($), FCSL ($), St. Thomas-MN ($), SLU ($), Case Western
Waitlisted: Fordham, WUSTL, Catholic, Loyola Chicago, Wisconsin
Deferred: American
Withdrew before decision: UIUC, Arkansas LR, Campbell
Attending: Alabama on a full tuition scholarship
During a time in my life that should have been filled with Saturday morning cartoons and Barbie dolls, I was picking up the pieces of the emotional disaster that was my mother. When I was four years old, my father was killed in a horrific accident on the drive home from his night shift at the Kraft plant. To this day, my mom feels like the accident was her fault because my parents, typically on cloud nine, had gotten into a colossal fight the night before he died. She spent much of the time after his death trying to cope with this guilt and devastation. How was I supposed to know this day would change my family’s cheerful home into a place that I avoided at all costs?
I am only twenty-one years of age, but I feel about twenty years older. I essentially had to raise myself, because my mom was far too emotionally traumatized to nurture me. My mother consistently left for work before I went to school and did not return until after I was in bed, so I spent the majority of my childhood in my grandparents’ home, cooking with my grandmother and watching “Days of our Lives” with my grandfather. In addition to the normal forty-five hour weeks and countless hours of grading papers and planning lessons, my mom served three terms as president of the Alton Education Association as well as several terms on the Region Board. She was not throwing herself into her work because she loved it; she was doing it to avoid the one person who reminded her of the life she had lost—her daughter.
When I was a kid, I was involved in absolutely everything. I played the flute, the violin, the piano, and the bassoon. As an all-star athlete, I competed in softball, soccer, basketball, golf, dance, and gymnastics. Remember that little girl looking into the stands or the audience hoping to see someone there who loved her and was proud of her, who had to hold back the tears when the seat was empty? That was me. My loneliness gave rise to remarkable creativity, however, which took the form of charcoal drawings, oil paintings, and black-and-white photography. My isolation also provided me with maturity and compassion. Instead of becoming someone who resented love, I yearned for it. However, even after years of begging to be loved by my mother, she chose to love someone else.
On Thanksgiving of my sophomore year of high school, my mother asked me if it was okay for her to go on a date with Robert. It had been eleven years since my father had passed away, and I wanted my mother to be happy. Little did I know that Robert was only nineteen, a convicted felon, and her former student. Robert pulled a gun on me over Fall Break of my sophomore year of college, has sexually harassed me several times in front of my family, and conned my mother out of thousands of dollars for drugs and other terrible habits. Despite several attempts to leave him, my mother is still with Robert six years later, even after two severe beatings and several death threats. I left home in August of 2003 to attend Saint Louis University and to escape the detrimental environment my mother’s relationship had created.
Right before I left for college, my mother financially abandoned me and informed me that I was always a burden to her. This declaration devastated me and I found myself dealing with loneliness, hatred, and sadness. Each day brought with it reminders that I now had no one to run to or to confide in. My heart was broken and I had to pick up the pieces single-handedly. With this friction in mind, I redirected my energy toward helping others and improving myself.
I longed for a fresh start and an opportunity to provide others with the love, compassion, support, and protection that were absent in my life. I found success in my academics with time, once I discovered coursework that captured my interest and provided me with a newfound happiness. Several involvement opportunities arose all over campus, and I was quick to dedicate myself to numerous organizations. Through countless leadership positions within these organizations, I was able to help others immediately. As the Freshman Executive Delegate to the Honors Student Association, I organized a toy drive for 150 children in the Children’s Hospital who were unable to spend Christmas at home with their families. Perhaps one of my favorite activities involved providing golf lessons to local terminally ill children with SLU Women’s Golf and the DreamWorks Foundation. As the Internal Vice President of Pan-Hellenic Council, the governing body of the sororities, I worked diligently to improve the Greek community. This involved anything from instituting a campus-wide collection of Yoplait lids for breast cancer research to planning every detail of Greek Week to bridging the gap between the Greek community and the Administration. However, my biggest impact on the SLU community rested within my position as a Resident Advisor. I found the opportunity to assist incoming freshmen in their transition to college incredibly rewarding. Saint Louis University became the family that I never had, and I finally felt like I belonged. As I continued to grow, I decided that I was ready to readdress my tumultuous relationship with my mother.
On April 11, 2004, my mom broke the news to me that she had colon cancer over Easter lunch at the Olive Garden. Regardless of the anger I felt towards my mother for the disappointments during my childhood as well as her inability to leave the man who was completely ruining her life, I did not want the September morning in 1989 in which my father did not return to recur. I spent hours upon hours in the hospital during my mother’s chemotherapy and radiation treatments, as well as during two surgeries in which most of her colon and intestines were removed. The second surgery during January of my junior year resulted in my mother being placed into a drug-induced coma for a month to fight off the infection. Seeing my mother so vulnerable forced an awareness of the time I had wasted avoiding her. I once again sought after the ideal mother-daughter relationship, but I would have settled for her just to be conscious so I could have told her how much I loved her. Luckily, she was released from the hospital shortly after March began. Ever since, I have spent more and more time with my mother, learning whom she is, how she feels, what she wants, and most importantly, how much she really loves me.
Several people think my mother is a failure, and I used to be one of them. I never wanted to be like my mother; in fact, I wanted to be the complete opposite of her. There are many things I wish she had done differently, but I now realize that many of those lonely nights developed me into the person I am today. My mother lived for me, even though we both thought she was living to avoid me. She failed at many things so that I could have the life that she and my dad had always dreamed for me to have. My individuality, independence, strong motivation, desire for success, leadership ability, maturity, ability to love, and my efforts to help the less fortunate were all derived from my mother’s absence.
My life’s experiences have undoubtedly shaped me into a compassionate person who yearns to protect women and children from domestic violence by providing them with a voice to fight against those who control them. However, these experiences in no way limit me from achieving my personal and professional ambitions. The same resiliency that has helped me to attain my past goals will certainly assist me in my determination to practice law. I have already drastically impacted the Saint Louis University community, and I long to do the same at XXXXX Law School as a dedicated student and within the community as a proud lawyer. Even though I have had to take a few steps back along the way, no obstacle has ever prevented me from accomplishing my dreams. Although my experiences have not been entirely unique, my response to these challenges definitely sets me apart. I consider my past a means of shaping me into the individual I am today. I realize that attending XXXXX Law School will provide many more obstacles. Nevertheless, these barriers will help to mold me into the lawyer I will be tomorrow.
Last edited by ajlrf03 on Fri Jul 27, 2007 12:35 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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