Hey guys -- if you happen to have time would you mind reading my PS and giving me suggestions? I took a different approach to it on a whim and am actually happy with how it turned out. I think it's especially appropriate seeing as how I haven't done anything impressive in my life lol.

Is it too short? Should I include that last sentence about considering me as an applicant?

*note -- I just finished this rough draft so there are probably simple errors. Also pretend each paragraph is indented.Thanks for your time.

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The speed and totality with which a person can change when faced with something new is astonishing. I learned this in the most unlikely arena.

I have been training Mixed Martial Arts for two years and everything has changed for the better. ‘Human Cockfighting,’ as Senator John McCain once called the sport, is a mixture primarily of boxing, wrestling and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (a form of submission grappling.) Interested participants can expect immense punishment to both mind and body accompanied by an even greater sense of satisfaction. Negative views of the sport are unfounded, and I would not be the person I am without it.

Before training I was not happy with the person I was. Argumentative and boastful over what I naievely considered impressive personal accomplishments, I can briefly describe myself at that time as difficult to be around. Although I was moderately successful in my academics, I had no true direction in life.

That all changed the day I was introduced to MMA. Bored, prideful and mistakenly convinced I could ‘do what they do on television,’ I ventured into a local fighting gym one day was met with an instant reality check. Long story short, I was respectfully tossed, battered and beaten by someone much younger and smaller than I am. I was hooked. Since then I have trained three hours a day for five days a week and have completely transformed as a person.

I have learned dedication. I now know what it takes to give everything you have for small improvements over long periods of time when quitting is not a possibility. I have learned how to adapt to difficult situations and overcome obstacles with which I am faced. For months before the LSAT, I went home exhausted from a combination of school work, physical training and test preparation and now realize I have what it takes to handle demanding responsibilities.

I have learned acceptance. I have met incredible people with whom my previously judgmental attitude would have never allowed me to interact. I have learned to be open-minded and explore new options, because remaining closed to the world’s possibilities is the definition of ignorance. I have also found there is no greater feeling than earning respect through hard work and dedication.

I have discovered my interest in earning a law degree. For some reason, my local MMA gym is populated by lawyers who never run out of legal topics to discuss. Whether they were talking about criminal defense or the difficulties of establishing a limited liability company, I was intrigued. My Interaction with people like these has created a personal commitment. I will earn a law degree.

Most importantly, I have learned humility. As of now, my accomplishments on this earth are neglible, but I hope to change that. I aim to work hard in all I do so I may one day be in a position to have a positive effect on society.

I am happy with the person I have become and with the person I hope to be. I welcome change and am now appreciative of everything I have. I thrive in new situations and environments and have developed a work ethic that leads to both exhaustion and satisfaction. I am ready for the challenge of law school and hope you will consider me a viable applicant for your institution.

just a quick two cents, i might drop the McCain quote, you never know if you're gonna get an adcom who is an adamant Obama supporter...

Don't kick my a$$ but...

I see where you are going, but I think it's a little superficial at this point.

Try this experiment: substitute "football," "baseball," "track-and-field" or any other sport for "MMA" and what happens? The essay reads the same...

So what is it, specifically, about MMA that taught you "dedication," "acceptance," etc.?

As it is, I think it is kind of a cliche sports-essay but I see what you are trying to do.

Be more specific about MMA and how MMA changed your life. Maybe you can write about a particular fight or tournament you competed in and take us into the "fighter's-eye-view" of what it is like to compete in MMA.

My $0.02.

Great. Good advice from both of you. Thanks.

I meant the McCain thing as a kind of hidden negative quote, but I know what you mean.

And I agree that it appears cliche, but I feel I've gotten more out of it than the "I won the state highschool football game" essay. It really was a change in lifestyle

I will definitely include a "fighter's eye" story and go more in depth on certain issues.

Keep em' coming, please.

oh, i see what you're saying about the mccain quote. i might keep it then, it is sort of a cool summarization of mixed martial arts, though i am by no means endorsing mccain lol